smackie9 Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 These turning into long happy marriages is rare and very risky and time consuming, hardly worth it especially when you want to get laid, and possibly miss out on someone better. I agree, it's best to see it as a hug waving red flag, and to STEP AWAY from it. Your chances of getting with her, is cutting her off and banging other chicks.
Author limesoda Posted October 26, 2014 Author Posted October 26, 2014 Yes and no. A lot of people drop their friends when they meet someone to begin with. It's also difficult to keep that kind of friendship when you get a BF/GF. No BF/GF wants to hear about his woman/her man having her guy/girl friend over for a movie night alone together, etc. It's a no brainer you just can't have that closeness anymore. So this is why I say have defined boundaries when going into a friends zone. Guys who accept the cuddle bich status in hopes something will get a relationship out of it, should also accept they are taking a big risk and to stop saying they were led on or used when she does get a BF. Very good points I just didn't like the sound of the way she did it though. Going out for dinner one week then totally ignoring his texts a fortnight later, saying they don't have anything in common, saying they were just drunk when they slept together.... I mean it all sounded contradictory to her actions over a few months. Why? Just say you've met someone and spending so much together won't work. Have some respect for the guy you're letting down and don't just discard them abruptly.
GemmaUK Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 I think it's very wrong to keep someone on a back burner/hook. It can only be for ego and if something else turns out wrong. I don't do it and never have. If I am interested I am into that person only - to whatever level but I won't mess a person around. I go with the treat as you wish to be treated line. 1
isisisweeping Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 It is very wrong. Very, very wrong. If you aren't telling them very clearly of what your intentions are or are not, it is dishonesty even if you don't outright lie. (And usually on the hook requires some lies explicit or implicit.) If you know someone is interested in you and you lead them to believe you are interested or will be in the future for personal gain, you lack ethics and character. I did it some in my early 20's in immaturity. Now, as soon as I realize that is happening I shut it down even though it feels bad to hurt someone, it's hurting them more to have false hope. 1
isisisweeping Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Then he told me he has a female roommate that he claimed was like a sister. I cut it off with him his female roommate was a big turn off. He also was active in her kid's life. It felt to me like it was an open relationship he had going on with her. I think I dated this guy! When he rushed back from a date because she texted wanting him at home for something with her kids I was like, uhh, no thank you. 1
dj572 Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 I've been there. I had a woman do that to me. We did everything couples did even had sex and she told me how much I meant to her but she didn't want anything serious. I kept hanging on to the hope she would come around. She would date someone but keep in touch with me and the moment things went bad she came crying to me. She twisted my head up so bad. I finally came to my senses and told her how she hurt me and she cut me out of her life and I haven't heard from her in a couple of years. It's probably for the best but stupid me I still miss her.
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