MissPotato Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Hello everyone , I would like your opinion about deliberately dating average looking men whereas you have a large choice of handsome guys to date. From what I can see, people would rather date a good-looking partner than an "average" one. I would not. I do not claim to be insensitive to appearances, on the contrary, I admit there are people I do find beautiful and other I don't. By "beautiful" I mean "pleasing to the eyes". Like everyone I am looking for a partner that can give me pleasure. But for me this is not the most important in a relationship. I above all seek similarity, someone who went through the same experiences, someone who could understand my weaknesses and other things. When I was younger (I'm 25 now), I was rather ugly (had a lot of medical and dental issues) and had hang-ups. Now I look totally different but this is a fake beauty. I had medical and aesthetic surgeries, I changed my hair color, I lose weight, learned to dress and so on. People have changed : they are much nicer with me, handsome guys (who would have ignored me before) are shy with me and flirt with me. But now I saw how much life is easier when you’re pretty, I don’t want a guy who didn’t experience the fear of being rejected on the first look, what do you feel when you hear sarcasm about your appearances. So I wonder if I am the only woman in this case. (I'm not a native english speaker so if you see mistakes, feel free to correct my text ). 1
KFuPanda Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 As a guy of my appearance, I am totally all about this. hahahaha 1
Andy_K Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Even as a guy who is generally considered attractive, believe me I have still had more rejections than you ever will. Especially when I do online dating... An average looking girls gets more attention there than all but the top percent or two of guys. 2
carhill Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 IMO, it's healthier to not 'think' this stuff, rather go with what feels to be a natural attraction. When relationship decisions begin to look like an accounting ledger, it's easy for the numbers, and decisions, to change on the latest figures. Of course, if one views relationships as transactional, then that type of decision-making process is congruent with their relationship philosophy. It all depends upon the person. Regarding the title, people of all different sorts of appearances are coupled up and, considering most people are 'average', with some being on the ugly side of average, that would indicate that the end result of any preferences is couples who are together. Whether they 'prefer' to be together is unknown except in their own minds.
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 This reminds me of an episode of Seinfeld where some girl likes George and tells Elaine that looks aren't even that important to her and that's why she likes him.
Elle1975 Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 You assume that beautiful people aren't capable of feelings, of having similar interests, of feeling insecure, or depressed. It's like saying "you either have a great personality, or you're great looking". Beauty can be a curse too. The look, good or "bad", shouldn't stop you from getting to know someone.
irc333 Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 This reminds me of an episode of Seinfeld where some girl likes George and tells Elaine that looks aren't even that important to her and that's why she likes him. Yep, that's the story of my dating situation. And this is not an insecure statement, it's factual. The women that actually decided to date me romantically admitted to not caring at all about looks. One was actually opposed to being involved with attractive men only because she stereotyped them as the kind that would cheat on her. Imagine that? A stereotype that worked in MY favor! LOL
normal person Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 A girl can get really insecure if she thinks you're a lot better looking than her. A lot of women need to be "the pretty one."
preraph Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 I think you're like that because when you were pre-work, you found your level you could get and were okay with that, and that's healthy. Not in the same situation, but one of the most popular women I know always used to say "He's too good looking; he'd never be faithful." And she was attracted to men I found strictly dodgy sometimes. But then her caveat is a large penis was important to her and it's not to most women I know, so in large part, no pun intended, she was picking guys based on how big their hands were (as an indication). So in her own way, she was picking based on physical appearance after all. I was more than happy to pick up her smaller handed, more handsome scraps, thank you. I think a lot has to do with sex drive and whether you're more visual or whatever, too. One time during a mid-life hormone surge I was finding less attractive guys more tempting, but I didn't act on it. This girl was very hormonal too and i do think that had a lot to do with it. The saving grace is that not everyone finds the same physical features attractive in men. Although there is a common template most people can agree on, most people I know have little exceptions to it that for one reason or another, they find this thing or that thing cute that others may not. I was certainly that way. I remember showing a new friend of mine photos and she didn't think a couple of my guys were very cute, but they were to a lot of women because they were very popular and always had women after them. That girl liked nerdy guys, which none of my crowd ever did, and of course nerdy guys have it made these days compared to back then. I still say if you concentrate on following your dreams and passions and get immersed in those instead of only being immersed in finding "a woman" or "a man" you will be much more likely to find the happy balance of attractive and interesting you really need. 1
GemmaUK Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 I've only ever dated average looking men. I find pretty boys a bit too pretty. I haven't ever dated anyone who could be considered 'model' looking. I'm not the most attractive person I know so I wouldn't expect to get some hot babe magnet! I am told that I am good looking though (stunning is usually the word used) but I am realistic. I do have a bit of a thing for Jeffrey Dean Morgan though...it's his eyes, smile and dimples..
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