cottom Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 We were together for 2 years, it was the most passionate, intense, heated relationship i have ever had. When we were in love, we were in LOVE, when we argued we ARGUED. We were a well known couple, everybody knew about us around this area. Around june time we started to go downhill, i was working in South Korea for a month then a family holiday to Cyprus for a few weeks and we argued a lot. During these arguments I would say i hate her and we are over, then we would speak a few days later (12 hour time difference made it very hard to speak, especially during arguments). She took these break ups seriously and met a guy who she used to work with (she is 20 he was 18) who had just broke up with a long term relationship, they both talked to let it all out and then eventually started meeting up, late July after our arguments where id say it was over and they would comfort each other. This guy is not her type i know, he was a crackhead who left the hair salon and now worked at mcdonalds with no education. Everything she hated. I would come back and say im sorry and we'd be back in love but then we argue and she would meet up with this guy. I found out about this early August, so they had only been meeting for a few weeks (3 or 4 times total). I left her that second i found out. I met a girl as a rebound, a girl i did like, attractive and nice, but we just didnt click, we had everything in common but it wasnt my ex. We broke up yesterday and i went out on the night and bumped into my ex with a guy friend, it came out she still loved me and she was drunk trying to hug up to me. I got home and she phoned and we were on the phone for 2 hours talking non stop like we used to, she said that the guy she had got with while "with me" she was with him now for about 6 weeks but she left him and she still loves me and she dreams about me and she wanted to know if i still loved her and she broke down in tears when she found out id met my rebound and my friend told her also how i hated the 2 years with her and she said that destroyed her. I wake up and she starts snapchatting me i confirm she is single and not still with this kid and she says shes single, i ask him on facebook and he said no they are together but unhappy atm, hes used her for what he needed as a shouder to cry on about his **** and she was just a rebound really etc. The question is, is it worth getting back with her if the opportunity arose, what is everyone elses experiences like with this?
Keenly Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 What makes you think its going to be any different of you get back together? We always seem to forget that we broke up for a reason. Time + memories = romanticization. We block out the bad and we only remember the good. Well the bad is still there man. 1
Author cottom Posted October 18, 2014 Author Posted October 18, 2014 Well when the bad was just the fact i worked for a month in a 12 hour time zone difference so we couldnt speak, stresses also led to us breaking up on and off and then when we broke up she had a guy offering his shoulder to cry on and we broke up and i got straight with another girl the day after and she got with him a few weeks later. Mine was a rebound, he was a rebound and she was a rebound. And we all broke up the same day and then i happened to bump into her later on where we started hitting it off again. Now that i work here and not abroad and arent travelling anywhere it would be like how amazing we were together before we broke up
dclan Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 I would go for it. If the problem was the distance/time zone, and you guys can put behind the whole "rebound" thing you both had, then you should try again. I would, however, take the chance to work on the constant arguing. Since you guys are starting fresh, you could try fixing that aspect too.
dragonfire13 Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 (edited) Well when the bad was just the fact i worked for a month in a 12 hour time zone difference so we couldnt speak, stresses also led to us breaking up on and off and then when we broke up she had a guy offering his shoulder to cry on and we broke up and i got straight with another girl the day after and she got with him a few weeks later. Mine was a rebound, he was a rebound and she was a rebound. And we all broke up the same day and then i happened to bump into her later on where we started hitting it off again. Now that i work here and not abroad and arent travelling anywhere it would be like how amazing we were together before we broke up In all honesty, I think the damage has been done. I speak from experience here, having dealt with arguments due to long distance. Once we were living in the same area again, I thought our problems would disappear. If you get back together, you are going to argue again at some point but because you've developed a pattern of breaking up after major arguments, whether you meant it or not, that stability has gone. The constant threat of an imminent breakup and walking on eggshells is going to make you both miserable, not to mention you may end up treating each other like crap because you know that "breaking up" doesn't really mean anything. Not saying it will happen to you, but that certainly happened to me. Once you start the pattern of breaking up/getting back together, I think a relationship is over. Edited October 18, 2014 by dragonfire13 1
smackie9 Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Why go back to the "arguing"? You were not getting along, and couldn't even hold it together when you were away for a month. It wasn't working, so why punish yourselves again with a relationship the wasn't healthy in the first place. These on again off again relationships are unstable and a big waste of time. See the signs it wasn't meant to be. IMO you both are young and still don't really know what you want in a relationship, that's why you both have failed experiences. Just move on and be single for awhile, date, enjoy your freedom.
Recommended Posts