I offcially just ran into my first prostitute from an OLD site.

[Jules Dash]

I just encountered my first hooker from an OLD. eHarmony.

 

I will explain that and pretty much sum up some of my most recent standout experiences from OLD. I am starting to feel that maybe OLD is just good for sex but I am really looking for a legit relationship but I’m running into some characters online. This will be a long post but my poor cousin has to sit back and listen to all my crazy dating stories and he deserves a break now. It comes out to about 2 and a half Word pages. I need to talk about this and just want to release because I have just reached a point with all of this stuff and need to just let it all out. If you don't believe in dating multiple people and having sex with multiple people, you will be offended with my post so please do not read if you do. You have be warned!

 

So beautiful 38 yo woman contact me on the site. She is overly enthusiastic about my profile. I frequently get nice comments on my photos but she is kind of taking it overboard with "oh, I can't stop looking at your photos!" Who says that online?

The comments I usually get are more reserved. I start to get the feeling that maybe she was a prostitute looking for business online, so after some back and forth and number exchanges, we text to set up a meeting. I said before we meet up, let’s make sure we are on the same page. I told her that I am looking to date someone with the hopes of eventually getting into a relationship and further developing a stronger relationship that can potentially lead to marriage. She assured me she was looking for the same thing.

 

She tells me all about the trips she has taken out of the country and the type of fancy car she drives but coincidentally her BMW is not available to meet up halfway between our homes. So we decided on a place close to her. While I was at the coffee shop, she texted me to tell me that she will be late but she will "make it up to me." So while I am sitting down, this smoking hot woman walks up to me and gives me a hug. She is wearing a tight red dress with black boots. After she hugs me, she said "I am late so you know what you should do to me? You should spank me!" I asked just to make sure I heard her correctly "you want me to spank you for being late?" She looked me right in the eyes and whispered "yeah, I want you to spank me." To make a long story short, she was a fast talker and trying to fish the location of my job out of me but I was like "I’m not telling this prostitute where I work." She told me she runs her own business as an attorney but does not advertise for it neither does she have a name for it (Hmmmm, sound like it would be difficult to tax her). She became turned off that I was very unwilling to give her much info about me so we parted ways.

 

One of the reason I was more reserved than usual on my meet up with the prostitute tonight was a recent experience of mine with someone I met on the same dating site. When I met her, I thought it was strange that the only two pictures she had posted on her profile was shot from a distance. You could tell she was a beautiful woman in the pictures even at a distance. We eventually met up at a coffee shop and there was immediate, great chemistry. We had a lot in common. We both, apparently, had never been married etc,. We went on five dates and had so much fun on them all. The one thing about her was that she did not respond to text quickly but she would always respond by the end of the night. Sometimes she would respond immediately though. She always chose to meet me at our dating place instead of me picking her up and she said she didn't like talking on the phone. The vibe between us was probably the greatest I had ever experienced with anyone within the first 5 dates. She came over my house last week to watch movies. We started kissing and before long I led her upstairs to my bedroom. What followed was the most surreal and passionate moment I had ever had with a woman.

 

We laid in my bed afterwards, with her head on my chest just talking and getting to know each other better. We both said that we wanted to get married and one day have more kids. I have two adult sons and she has a young son as well. She told me that she really liked me and felt that we had so much in common and that she was strongly attracted to me. I was thinking how could a woman this beautiful make it to age 37 and no one has married her. The situation just felt too good to true. I told my cousin that I was waiting for her to tell me that she used to be a stripper or a call girl. She told me that although she was dating someone else she felt her and I was a good match and that she wasn't really into the other guy she was seeing (I date other women too and I am upfront about this to every woman that I date) Before we knew it, it was 4 a.m. and she told me that since she lived with her mother, she did not want to be seen walking home in the morning especially with her young son. I told her she basically has already spent the night at my place and it was probably too late to drive home especially since she had no sleep but she insisted. A couple days later I texted her to set up our next date then she made a confession through a long text. She told me that she did not give me her real name and that she is originally from a different state than the one she told me at first. She told me that she hoped we could still date but if I didn't want to she would understand. She said she was new to OLD and was very anxious about putting her personal information out there for strangers to see.

I thought to myself "my initial reply to her text is crucial. If I just forgive her for lying, I will come off as a pushover but if I am too harsh, I could destroy the strong chemistry that we have and punish her for possibly being just overly cautious." I thought for a moment on how to best reply to her text and then I thought of the perfect initial reply. I asked her "are you married?" She did not reply back and I have not heard from her since.

 

 

There is another woman I had been dating for 4 months on and off. One of the things that made me wonder about this woman and hesitant about her is that she does not like to speak much about herself much and she always wanted to spend the night at my home. She is too mysterious. She never invited me out to her place. When she would spend a night over my house, we would enjoy ourselves and I like that she was willing to drink what I was drinking. Most women will not try the drinks I like to drink unless they were more of a girly type of drink. The last time she was over my place and spent a night, she acted like she really didn't want to leave the following morning. My cousin wanted to come over to watch the football game with me and I told him that my company just is not taking a hint to leave. I didn't want to be rude since we had sex the previous night. My cousin jokingly told me that I should check my home to see if she is leaving her toothbrush around. I did check. There was no toothbrush. She eventually took a shower and left. I later found her underwear stuffed between my headboard and my mattress. I thought "how can you take shower over someone's house, get dressed and not realize that you don't have your underwear on when you leave?"

 

She finally invited me over to house 2 weeks later since I made a sarcastic comment about it. She cooked me dinner but I found out that her mother actually lived with her. After 4 months of dating she never even mentioned this. She said it was “awkward.” I also was concerned that throughout the day I was over there, she kept her wine glass full. No wonder she was so willing to match me with my favorite manly drinks. I think she can outdrink me.

 

 

Now, this particular woman I am also dating has me sort of wondering how I should proceed. I like her. This woman and I pretty much get along very well. We always have great conversations. She is highly intelligent, nice, has a very prestigious job in addition to a smaller prestigious career as well. We always have a great time and seem to be building up a nice relationship but - The last time we were together, I asked her to tell me something about her she thinks I should really know. She told me that she was once in a relationship with another woman for a couple of years. Now this did not bother me because I have dated one other woman in the past who was bisexual and she was comfortable with the fact that she was bisexual but this current woman, despite having been in a relationship with another woman for years, does not believe she is bisexual. I didn't argue with her over it or anything but it just really makes me wonder why she does not accept this. I am still working this one through my head. It may be fine but I am wondering if her unwillingness to see herself as bisexual means something or do I just not get it.

 

I won't even go into my last exclusive relationship that was started from OLD. I am just moving past that one and trying to forget it.

 

I have spent most of my dating life afraid of commitment and I am not ashamed of it. I didn’t realize it until about a couple of years ago. I have legitimately been trying to move on from this lately but this is what I am running into all the time now. At first I was like "well, at least I'm getting sex." As long as I am getting sex, I can deal with it until the right one comes along. Running into that hooker today just have me rethinking some things now. I do have to consider mileage on my car to drive to all of these dates, gas and picking tabs too.

 

Just my rant. I feel better.

Edited October 17, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Omei]

Very interesting set of stories!

 

I believe you can meet someone online but I think it could take just as long as real life too!

 

Those people I see always saying oh I got my girl from OLD I cant help but wonder did they get crazy lucky or did they just settle?

 

Because imo it really takes just as long.

[Toodaloo]

Don't really know what to say other than you have put me off on line dating...

Edited October 17, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Jules Dash]

No, they are not all prostitutes. I never said that. Only one of them was a prostitute. The lady I met last night was definitely a prostitute using a OLD to pick up Johns. That much was clear to me.

 

1. She was using a fake online name. This is not unusual but when I told her I did not believe that was her real name. She replied by saying "after we meet me, baby, you can call me sweetheart, Honey, baby etc."

Who says that kind of stuff online?

 

2. She was excessively stroking my ego from the start.

 

3. She was calling me a lot of terms of endearment despite having not ever met me.

 

4. She was saying stuff like "you will see that I will be worth it."

 

5. She told me she wanted me to spank her immediately after we physically met.

 

6. She was very elusive about her career. She said she worked from home but had no name for her business or did not advertise it. Maybe because it is illegal?

 

7. She was dressed extremely sexy for a 1st time meet up at a very casual college campus type restaurant.

 

So she was a prostitute. My other online dates are not but once you start running into married women trying to have an affair it gets crazy. A few months ago, a married woman approached me online and flat out told me she was just looking for an affair. She told me she was quite happy in her marriage and that her husband was a really good husband. She was just looking for something on the side.

 

I am starting to wonder if OLD is a legit resource to find someone long term. They throw the occasional successful couple who made it to marriage that met online but I am starting to believe that they are the exception rather than the rule.

Edited October 17, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[cdt76]

Hell, you've had better luck than I have had with OLD. You at least see these women more than once. Last girl I met online was exactly who I was looking for. I mean EXACTLY. She introduced me to her kids, one of the kids texted her and said "Keep him forever". Not a week later, I get the "I'm overwhelmed" BS story and she disappears. Not sure how seeing her once a week was overwhelming but she is back online looking for a man. So obviously it wasn't me overwhelming her. Whatever it is, it's OLD. Its the same story. Emotionally unavailable people out there looking for that someone to give them reason to be happy, if only for one night. And one night is not what I'm looking for.

[d0nnivain]

I think you are right that the last woman you met was over the top but I still don't see professional prostitute.

 

She may very well be a lawyer. Check with your local bar association & ask for the name she gave you. Some lawyers don't have to advertise. Most are direct to the point of being blunt. It many places it's illegal to call a law practice anything other than the names of the lawyers.

 

I also think that part of your problem may be that you sleep with these women too early. Once they sleep with you or do anything sexual you discard them as being slutty. In essence you are testing them & they are failing your tests which is making you jaded. You are also adding to the lure that men from OLD drop a woman immediately after getting sex.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Interesting indeed but I don't think these kind of experiences are exclusive to OLD. I've known many people who meet people in real life who are just as deceiving.

 

The one thing that comes to mind while reading your post is perhaps you might want to think about saving sex for monogamy.

 

If you're just looking to get your rocks off for the sake of it then stop complaining about the quality of women you're getting and chalk it up as just part of the hazards in getting what you need.

 

If you're looking for a potential partner (which you confess to wanting in your opening) then perhaps you need to rejig your strategy and start being much more discerning about who you choose to take to your bed.

 

There is a responsibility that you need to own up to in all of this as well. Whether or not you want to hear that may in fact be part of the problem.

 

Just my two cents.

Edited October 17, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle

[The Like Fairy]

I agree - time to evaluate your life and give long thought to monogamy.

[Jules Dash]

I think you are right that the last woman you met was over the top but I still don't see professional prostitute.

 

She may very well be a lawyer. Check with your local bar association & ask for the name she gave you. Some lawyers don't have to advertise. Most are direct to the point of being blunt. It many places it's illegal to call a law practice anything other than the names of the lawyers.

 

I also think that part of your problem may be that you sleep with these women too early. Once they sleep with you or do anything sexual you discard them as being slutty. In essence you are testing them & they are failing your tests which is making you jaded. You are also adding to the lure that men from OLD drop a woman immediately after getting sex.

 

 

Slutty? Absolutely not. I do not look down upon a woman because she slept with me early in the dating process. I am actually flattered by it. I am taking part in it too. It would be hypocritical for me to do that.

 

I absolutely do not base my respect in a woman on how fast they sleep with me. There is so much more to a person. In my experience, the women who tend to make you wait the longest turn out to be the ones with more of a questionable morality system. That has been my experience.

 

My problems with the above women had nothing to do with sex except for the prostitute. BTW, someone telling you that they want you to spank them within seconds of meeting you doesn't scream sex worker to you in the context of the other things I mentioned? That really surprises me that her behavior was not a red flag to some of you.

 

One of the women I mentioned was obviously having an affair on her husband. Another is obviously an alcoholic who is very secretive. The other dated a woman for 2 years but denies that she is bisexual. She doesn't except her own sexuality at her age. If she is bisexual, I am fine with it. It doesn't bother me at all, especially since I not only dated a bisexual woman before but we lived together.

 

 

I have dropped none of these women. One stopped contacting me after I asked her if she was married when she told me she gave me fake info on her including her name. We were intimate and I am calling her by a false name. I was really hoping we would have an exclusive relationship eventually.

 

I am still dating the other two women and I treat them both well and with respect. Trust me, none of these women will complain about how I treat them. Really, I love very sexual women and I have no problem with "sluts." Anyone who is comfortable with their sexuality has my respect for that.

[d0nnivain]

. BTW, someone telling you that they want you to spank them within seconds of meeting you doesn't scream sex worker to you in the context of the other things I mentioned? That really surprises me that her behavior was not a red flag to some of you.

 

I didn't say it wasn't a red flag. I said it doesn't automatically scream prostitute to me.

 

I would have been very taken aback & put off if someone said that to me but I wouldn't conclude they were trying to get me to pay for sex.

[Jules Dash]

Interesting indeed but I don't think these kind of experiences are exclusive to OLD. I've known many people who meet people in real life who are just as deceiving.

 

The one thing that comes to mind while reading your post is perhaps you might want to think about saving sex for monogamy.

 

If you're just looking to get your rocks off for the sake of it then stop complaining about the quality of women you're getting and chalk it up as just part of the hazards in getting what you need.

 

If you're looking for a potential partner (which you confess to wanting in your opening) then perhaps you need to rejig your strategy and start being much more discerning about who you choose to take to your bed.

 

There is a responsibility that you need to own up to in all of this as well. Whether or not you want to hear that may in fact be part of the problem.

 

Just my two cents.

 

I am a sexual person. Once a relationship or dating experience naturally progresses to sex, I am not going to be the one to stop it. Why? I just don't base the potential of a long term partnership on sex. I can artificially prevent sex from happening for a year or two years but that still won't change the person I am or the person she is.

 

I am not just looking to get my rocks off. People are attracted to each other, they date and then they have sex. Abstaining from sex won't solve eventually realizing that you may be dating someone you are not compatible with. I think too many place too much emphasis and meaning on sex.

[Jules Dash]

I didn't say it wasn't a red flag. I said it doesn't automatically scream prostitute to me.

 

I would have been very taken aback & put off if someone said that to me but I wouldn't conclude they were trying to get me to pay for sex.

 

I see. I am trying to see this from another vantage point. I have had a woman directly approach me for an affair on her husband eHarmony but I just never had someone come at me the way this lady did last night. I figured she just had to be a prostitute. She talked so much about the extravagant trips she has taken and the nice car she drives and the nice condo she was living in. Do you think she could have simply just wanted sex from me? I just can't see it. It seemed like she was up to something.

[ComingInHot]

You need to talk to others and have them write down their off the wall experiences with this On line dating thing... Then ((WAHLAH)) you have your first published best seller!!

I would TOTALLY read it after your snapshot of experiences.

Craaaazy*

[Jules Dash]

I just received a private message saying that the word "wh***" was considered profanity on Loveshack. I meant it in no derogatory or profane manner, believe it or not. It is synonymous with prostitute to me which I believe is acceptable on this site. My bad.

[CaliGypsy]

Unless one of these women has tried to solicit money or valuables in exchange for sex, I'd think twice about calling them prostitutes.

 

People have many, many reasons for what they do.

[Jules Dash]

Unless one of these women has tried to solicit money or valuables in exchange for sex, I'd think twice about calling them prostitutes.

 

People have many, many reasons for what they do.

 

Geesh, you guys are making me think twice about this now and I am not sure how I feel about that. This woman broke the Richter scale in sex appeal last night.

[CaliGypsy]

Geesh, you guys are making me think twice about this now and I am not sure how I feel about that. This woman broke the Richter scale in sex appeal last night.

 

 

I can't tell you she is or isn't shady. It's not fair to call these women hookers.

 

I'm glad you're open minded though, and are rethinking this

[preraph]

I think a lot more of them are prostitutes than you'll ever know. Every prostitute is online looking for money. I get random emails from prostitutes daily and am not even on OLD.

 

I've been around sex workers some, and they're the only women I've ever met who would come on real strong to a guy they never met online or at first meeting like that red dress woman did. And don't ever give them your real info until you rule out them being a prostitute. There are prostitutes who will use your job into to threaten to call your boss and extort you. It is just one of many ways prostitutes make money. Anytime you have a woman online who is making sexual promises and flattering you a lot, she's likely a prostitute. Prostitutes flatter, talk sexy, tell or show you what they want you to think they look like, tell you you deserve better than every other woman has ever treated you, and promise no strings and great sex. If it sounds too good to be true, it is.

 

If you meet one OLD with a photo, get that photo, go to Google search, type in "google photo search" and a special google will come up where you can insert the URL of the photo and it will find every other place on the web that photo or one that looks like it is. This should uncover at least some of the sex workers.

[Ami1uwant]

I was thinking the prositute was ummmmm...Lola.

[Priv]

Totally with Donnavain here.

 

 

1st one. you asked 'are you married'?. There is just as much chance she just thought f*ck you after that question than actually being married.

 

 

2nd one. She left her panties at your place. A little sexy thing to do (that unfortunately never happened to me grrrrr). She seems to really like you. And tbh. yea, not nice her mum lives at her place but I can totally see that happen to me someday when she gets older.

 

 

3rd one. Not really sure. She does not think she is bisexual though she actually is. Interesting

 

 

But the prostitute. No man, they don't need to troll OLD to get clients, especially not going on hour long dates with johns. She might actually be a lawyer. She might actually be as careful as you when it comes to OLD dates. Just saying...

 

 

These women seem fine in my opinion.

 

 

But I agree you have to be careful. You are probably American so it can be more difficult to seperate them. Being on Tinder I do get the occasional message to hookup in English from e foreign looking lady after I send them a message in Dutch while their profile is written in perfect Dutch. I don't go into that, not because I am unwilling to date a foreign woman (I would love to meet one IRL), but for the scam possibility/probability. Thinking Nigerian emails etc. not so much prostitutes because, why bother...

[Jules Dash]

 

I've been around sex workers some, and they're the only women I've ever met who would come on real strong to a guy they never met online or at first meeting like that red dress woman did. And don't ever give them your real info until you rule out them being a prostitute. There are prostitutes who will use your job into to threaten to call your boss and extort you. It is just one of many ways prostitutes make money. Anytime you have a woman online who is making sexual promises and flattering you a lot, she's likely a prostitute. Prostitutes flatter, talk sexy, tell or show you what they want you to think they look like, tell you you deserve better than every other woman has ever treated you, and promise no strings and great sex. If it sounds too good to be true, it is.

 

 

This is exactly how she acted but she did not directly talk about sex. It was very shady appearing. What else could it have been? The woman was absolutely stunning and the way she dressed was much more what was called for for someone simply looking for a hookup. Her forwardness is much more than I have seen since high school. My bet is that she is a prostitute. I am almost certain of it. Women just don't walk up to you with a hug and immediately tell you that they want you to spank them for being late.

 

I guess there are other possibilities that I am considering since it is not so clear cut to others here and I see their point. I am going to find out the truth and I will update this thread. We all will become educated, I guess.

[Jules Dash]

Totally with Donnavain here.

 

 

1st one. you asked 'are you married'?. There is just as much chance she just thought f*ck you after that question than actually being married.

 

 

2nd one. She left her panties at your place. A little sexy thing to do (that unfortunately never happened to me grrrrr). She seems to really like you. And tbh. yea, not nice her mum lives at her place but I can totally see that happen to me someday when she gets older.

 

 

3rd one. Not really sure. She does not think she is bisexual though she actually is. Interesting

 

 

But the prostitute. No man, they don't need to troll OLD to get clients, especially not going on hour long dates with johns. She might actually be a lawyer. She might actually be as careful as you when it comes to OLD dates. Just saying...

 

 

 

I am American.

 

1. Thinking "fu** you" is something I considered but I don't think this was the case. If you tell someone you lied to them about basic information regarding yourself, it is a legit question to ask. Why else would someone go through such great length to hide who they are? Why no close up photos online? Women usually are comfortable with me picking them up by the 2nd date. With my profession, they generally feel very comfortable and safe around me rather quick. Why be so adamant about not liking phone calls? She was hiding something.

 

It would have been very drastic to just treat the situation like an easy throw away especially since we had really strong chemistry. I doubt she would have just acted so extreme. She was really a very nice, easy-going woman with an otherwise wonderful personality. I think she wanted to gradually expose her true self and was not ready to tell me she was married. When I asked her if she was married, I think she gave up and saw that she just had told too many lies to recover from.

 

 

2. I don't think leaving her panties stuck between my mattress and headboard was something cute she was doing. I think she left them there in hopes that another woman would find them later and give me hell about it. She knew I was dating others so- she has yet to even ask about her underwear. This woman's biggest problem is alcohol.

 

3. Yes, she is bisexual but does not accept it. I would like someone to be comfortable with their sexuality because if they are not, things can really become complicated down the line. She is otherwise great so far. I will see what happens.

[Jules Dash]

Unless one of these women has tried to solicit money or valuables in exchange for sex, I'd think twice about calling them prostitutes.

 

People have many, many reasons for what they do.

 

 

Please read my post careful. I only referred to one of the women as a prostitute which I feel strongly she is. I reread my own post and not sure how people are getting it mixed up and thinking I am referring to all the women I posted about as prostitutes. That is not the case. The first one I wrote about in my post is the one I referred to as a prostitute.

 

Really, you shouldn't need for a woman to actually solicit sex from you to know they are a prostitute. If you see a woman walking back and forth on a street corner every night a 2 a.m. in sexually revealing clothes and jumps into random cars throughout the night, you can safely assume she is a prostitute. It's the same with the woman I met up with last night. Not the other women I am dating. They are not prostitutes!

[preraph]

You said she did everything but talk directly about sex, so she could have even been somebody undercover trying to get you to put your foot in your mouth.

[Jules Dash]

You said she did everything but talk directly about sex, so she could have even been somebody undercover trying to get you to put your foot in your mouth.

 

 

I have been in a good share of crazy situations when it comes to dating but this one was really weird. I actually considered what you described here too. I was really intrigued to the point it was like I was interviewing her. I told myself I should stop and that she was going to start feeling like she was being interviewed but I couldn't help it.

 

This woman was a talker! She was really, really good at talking. She was extremely quick on her feet. She had a very quick answer for every thing I threw at her. She seemed like a professional.