rdet123 Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Hey all, I need some advice from you lovely people I went on a date on Tuesday with a guy I met online. The date I thought went really well, we had a lot in common and conversation seemed to go really well! It almost seemed like he was a little nervous when he saw me and during our date, but regardless I think the date went well. When I got home he had texted me that same night saying he would love to go out again with me. I responded with I would like that as well! He never responded back to my text to make plans or anything like that. That was Tuesday and I haven't heard from him yet. I don't know if he all of a sudden lost interest or what. But he hasn't tried to make plans for a second date or anything. Granted it was almost 3 days ago, but that seems like a long time considering he said he would love to meet up again. What do you think is going on? Should I just say to myself I guess he lost interest? Thanks!
IronZ Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Hard to say what's going on.. but here's what you do. Text him tomorrow during the day and say something like "Hey, what's up! I was just wondering if you'd like to go out again tonight or tomorrow night" (since it's the weekend). This is a very casual way to approach it. If he replies with a yes then you know where you stand. If he ignores you, then you'll know to walk away.
Ami1uwant Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 If this was Tuesday night and this us Thursday night...I wouldn't worry yet. You could text/call him tomorrow. Notes.. Never assume you are the only one they are dating. It's possible the first meeting may be great to you but not to the other person. 2
Author rdet123 Posted October 17, 2014 Author Posted October 17, 2014 Thanks for the replies guys! Maybe it didn't go as well for him? It just confuses me that he would text me saying he would love to meet up again. I don't know why he wouldn't just leave it alone and not text me, ya know?
Ducky71 Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Just ask him if he wants to get together again! Yes is yes, no is no. You'll never get an answer to a question you don't ask! 2
Arieswoman Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 rdet123, Personally, I would move on. I had this loads of times when I was dating. Guys telling me how nice I was and what a great time they had, then just not calling. Two guys sent me flowers the next day to thank me for a great time and then "ghosted". Maybe it's different "over the pond" but I wouldn't chase a guy. They know where you are, right? So let them do the spadework. The more a guy invests in you the more they value you. I would get on with your life and then if he calls after a week you can tell him he's too late ( you don't want to be part of their fallback plan, do you?). Most guys will call within 2/3 days if they are interested. After all, if they thought you were that great they wouldn't let you get away would they? And don't take it personally, it happens to everyone ! Just my 6 penneth. 7
Omei Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Or you could be the one to make the date. Maybe hes thinking the same about you. Why isnt she calling?
bene Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 I would very casually ask how he's doing and suggest going out again. Something concrete, like a movie you want to see or an exhibition you want to go to. If he doesn't answer or agrees without making concrete plans or downright says no, then you'll have your answer. I usually believe that the man should be the more interested party in the beginning but I also prefer reaching out instead of wondering "what if...". 1
Gaeta Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Here is what I have learn while online dating. Text cannot be relied on. He may have sent a last text Tuesday night and it did not make it to you. This summer I met someone for a walk in the park. At around 4 pm his phone dings. He asked if it's ok to check just in case it's work. It was MY text (he showed me) a text I had sent him 5 hours earlier. I have numerous stories like this. So shoot him a text or call him. What do you have to lose? That is not chasing him. If he shows no enthusiasm you will know he lost interest. 1
singsparkles Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Hey all, I need some advice from you lovely people I went on a date on Tuesday with a guy I met online. The date I thought went really well, we had a lot in common and conversation seemed to go really well! It almost seemed like he was a little nervous when he saw me and during our date, but regardless I think the date went well. When I got home he had texted me that same night saying he would love to go out again with me. I responded with I would like that as well! He never responded back to my text to make plans or anything like that. That was Tuesday and I haven't heard from him yet. I don't know if he all of a sudden lost interest or what. But he hasn't tried to make plans for a second date or anything. Granted it was almost 3 days ago, but that seems like a long time considering he said he would love to meet up again. What do you think is going on? Should I just say to myself I guess he lost interest? Thanks! I can't say he's not interested, because if he wasn't, he would have never sent you the text saying he's interested in going out again. You said he was nervous during your date. Maybe he sees you as a good catch and is feeling a little insecure and is waiting for you to text him and ask him to go out for reassurance. I would say send him a text saying, "Hey hows your week going?" and if he responds tell him you'd love to see him again. And see where it goes. Hugs xx
Fondue Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 It has only been a few, short days. Calm down. He doesn't owe you 110% of his attention after the first date. He'll get in contact with you once he figures out the next date. You guys don't have to be in immediate or daily contact just after one meetup.
Cristo Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Since so few men are successful online, chances are that this guy is well above average. Thus, he may be out of your league and likely has plenty of other options. So it's possible that one of his other options showed more promise.
Author rdet123 Posted October 17, 2014 Author Posted October 17, 2014 Hey all! Thanks for the awesome advice! Good news that he texted me this morning! I think I was just overthinking it perhaps. We'll see how this plays out! Thanks for the advice!
Omei Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Hey all! Thanks for the awesome advice! Good news that he texted me this morning! I think I was just overthinking it perhaps. We'll see how this plays out! Thanks for the advice! Awesome he prob was wandering why it took you so long caved and texted do not let him make all the moves you want a date ask for a place and time. 1
slizl Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 I think it's really funny when you people are like, drop him, dump him, forget about him, etc. and the OP gives an update that they texted and everything was all good. 1
Arieswoman Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 I think it's really funny when you people are like, drop him, dump him, forget about him, etc. and the OP gives an update that they texted and everything was all good. Let's just wait and see shall we? All I can report is that the guys I eventually had a LTR with, asked me for (and arranged) another date before the end of the first date.... make of that what you will. As I said before, if they think you are so great they aren't going to let you get away, are they ??
Fondue Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Let's just wait and see shall we? All I can report is that the guys I eventually had a LTR with, asked me for (and arranged) another date before the end of the first date.... make of that what you will. As I said before, if they think you are so great they aren't going to let you get away, are they ?? Or you risk looking clingy as hell by jumping the gun and acting so quickly. Not sure about European women, but North American women can either A) love the fact you're pursuing so intently early on, or B) think you're a creep. There might be women that love when a man is in hot pursuit, just as there are women that hate it. So it is best to approach with caution.
ThisisIt606 Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Such as life. I"ve been on many dates that I thought were good. SOme where he said and or texted "we should do this again sometime" only to never hear from him again. What I've learned from OLD is that words are moot. DOn't believe anything (another date) until it happens (you are out with him on it). People either say things out of guilt/want to be nice, may honest mean it at the time and just have *personal issues* going on so they can't actually have a relationship, they met someone else, or they are lazy and don't want to be the one to set something up. ^ any of the above you DON"T want. If you really liked this guy. No harm is sending him a casual text asking if he wants to hang out this weekend at (name place) and say when you're free. The more specific the better for someone who leaves things so loose.
Author rdet123 Posted October 17, 2014 Author Posted October 17, 2014 Well just an update...we texted for a little bit today and while we were texting I didn't get the feeling he was really wanting to talk to me. I really don't get this guy...I responded to his last text and he just never texted me back. I think i'm just going to forget about him and move on. I don't have time to play these games. So frustrating cause I thought we would get along well...oh well I guess
Omei Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 If he didnt wanna talk to you why would he text you, why didnt you take the initiative and ask for a date time? How did the conversation go that you feel he wasn't into speaking to you?
smackie9 Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 He is keeping his options open, and giving you bread crumbs to keep you around, just in case. Follow your gut. If a guy really wants to see you again, he would set up another date because he wants to be with you. I get this all the time, that people base texting as interest. I call bs because it's just an easy way to lead people into false intentions. Actions speak louder than words. It has been my experience if he doesn't set up a firm date to see you again, don't waste your time. Don't ever assume there is a relationship in it for you if the date went extremely well. If they get a better offer or didn't feel enough chemistry, they are not going to call you back for another date. BTW never once have I ever felt a guy was being too clingy asking for another date at the end of the date. If I really like him, I'm going to say yes. If I felt he was being clingy, that would tell me that I'm not that into him.
HappyLove Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 A great way to gauge his interest is to look at how much he texted you before the date and how much after. If it fell off big time he's most likely stringing you along! 1
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