How important is it for a man to stand up for himself?

[Darren2013]

Mostly in the context of not being afraid to stand up to a woman and disagreeing with her about something. How important is that? It seems like compromise is just as important too because a mature man understands that he can't get his way all the time in the relationship and that sometimes he has to do what he doesn't want to do in order to make his girlfriend happy.

 

Like for example I am not much of a phone person. Ideally I prefer to stay off the phone and talk to my girlfriend face to face. The only real purpose for the phone is to ask for the date. That's all. However most women tend to view the phone differently and need to talk and vent about problems they had during the day. So to compromise it won't kill me to talk to her on the phone for 12-15 minutes every night if she is the one calling me. I can't just say I don't like talking on the phone or she will think I'm nuts.

 

Or when it comes to going to the movies I am willing to compromise and let her pick the movie 80% of the time. It won't be an earth shattering thing if I don't get to see my favorite movie in theaters and wait for it to come out months down the road on redbox.

 

If she has the belief that drinking diet soda will increase my risk of cancer or feed current cancer then fine. I won't drink it in front of her and I will only drink it in the privacy of my own home alone.

Edited October 17, 2014 by Darren2013

[mightycpa]

You're a pretty black-and-white individual, aren't you?

 

Yeah, you can't just say that, or she will think you're nuts. What's more, she'll confuse what you dislike. She'll think it is her that you dislike, when in reality, you simply dislike talking on the phone more than you like her.

 

In the end, if you're not willing to drive over to her house for that 15 minute conversation (which would also be nuts), does it make a difference which one of the above she thinks? Either way, she's not that valuable to you, and she knows it. What difference does it make why?

[Toodaloo]

Darren you haven't even taken her out for coffee yet.

 

If you don't like something you don't like it but don't let it ruin your budding relationship with this girl eh...

[guest569]

Try being honest with her?

[lollipopspot]

I think that for both males and females, picking your battles is good. No one needs to get their way all the time, but you need to be able to stand up for yourself when something is important too, and not be a doormat. Find a balance where you feel that your important needs are getting met, and your partner is getting theirs met too.

[todreaminblue]

I respect a man who stands up for what he believes in...i dont need someone who agrees with everything i say or do...that would not be honest...i think that it can be a discussion rather than an argument for arguments sake......i do believe you pick and fight your battles on passionate and compassionate forethought.....it is not a true relationship if you dont or cant agree to disagree on some things...i think you need to be able to see both sides ...to have effective discussions resulting in resolution.......deb

[littleblackheart]

Mostly in the context of not being afraid to stand up to a woman and disagreeing with her about something. How important is that? It seems like compromise is just as important too because a mature man understands that he can't get his way all the time in the relationship and that sometimes he has to do what he doesn't want to do in order to make his girlfriend happy.

 

Like for example I am not much of a phone person. Ideally I prefer to stay off the phone and talk to my girlfriend face to face. The only real purpose for the phone is to ask for the date. That's all. However most women tend to view the phone differently and need to talk and vent about problems they had during the day. So to compromise it won't kill me to talk to her on the phone for 12-15 minutes every night if she is the one calling me. I can't just say I don't like talking on the phone or she will think I'm nuts.

 

Or when it comes to going to the movies I am willing to compromise and let her pick the movie 80% of the time. It won't be an earth shattering thing if I don't get to see my favorite movie in theaters and wait for it to come out months down the road on redbox.

 

If she has the belief that drinking diet soda will increase my risk of cancer or feed current cancer then fine. I won't drink it in front of her and I will only drink it in the privacy of my own home alone.

 

 

It's important to stand up to anyone in an argument for something that makes you who you are, that matters to you, or that you believe in.

 

 

You shouldn't have to change your personality or tastes to please someone because in all likelihood, it'll hit you both like a boomerang at some point - either when she realises you don't in fact like romantic comedies (she might feel she made you go by force) or when you're tired of hiding your full-sugar soda drinking habit.

 

 

She'll probably think you are nuts if you agree with everything she says and lets her do everything she wants; some may even be tempted to take advantage of that.

 

 

You seem like a sweet guy - there's always a chance it's exactly what she's looking for

[Xiane]

as a man, i respect every man stand up on anything he said, or believe in.

[Darren2013]

It's important to stand up to anyone in an argument for something that makes you who you are, that matters to you, or that you believe in.

 

 

You shouldn't have to change your personality or tastes to please someone because in all likelihood, it'll hit you both like a boomerang at some point - either when she realises you don't in fact like romantic comedies (she might feel she made you go by force) or when you're tired of hiding your full-sugar soda drinking habit.

 

 

She'll probably think you are nuts if you agree with everything she says and lets her do everything she wants; some may even be tempted to take advantage of that.

 

 

You seem like a sweet guy - there's always a chance it's exactly what she's looking for

 

 

The ones who would take advantage of someone who is being flexible says more about their character than the person who is willing to compromise. In order for a relationship to work both parties have to work hard everyday to battle against selfish inclinations.

[Darren2013]

Darren you haven't even taken her out for coffee yet.

 

If you don't like something you don't like it but don't let it ruin your budding relationship with this girl eh...

 

I am trying to forget about my crush for now and put her on the back burner of my mind. I think talking to other women online is helping me not think about her as much.

 

As I said before it is normal for any person in my situation to develop feelings for a coworker after working side by side for 12 years and talking alot and joking around. We used to spend alot of time talking and kidding around until about 2 months ago when boom we went quiet on each other all of a sudden. That's the time I realized my feelings were progressing for her. The feelings probably slowly creeped up for a long time before that but I dismissed it.

 

So because it is normal to develop feelings after spending so much time working closely with someone I have now kept a distance and kept contact to a minimum to wait and see if maybe this crush is just a phase that will pass over time. I think talking to other women is a good idea for now. I am still hoping that in time I will get over her.