BF of 6 years went MIA then breaks up with me and sends angry text messages and email

[kathy31]

HI guys,

 

this is a long story so please bear with me.

My BF and i have been childhood sweethearts for 6 years. Through our relationship, we have a lot of ups and downs. A lot of the times I've been really childish and have tried breaking off with him only to want him back in the end. He was definitely more in love with me than i was with him. We were in a long distance relationship and Im in my final year of undergraduate studies in Australia.

 

He broke up w me 6 months ago. It is a long time ago but the pain def still stick w me. It wasnt the fact that he did it but how he did it. So, he shut off his phone for a month. (i wasnt able to get through his phone because his phone was shut). I finally got him to call him via emailing him. And he told me it was over. Over the next few weeks, i've called and smsed him like a crazy woman, telling him to give us another chance. He would tell me he would call me later but there would be no calls from him. Until one fine day, he emailed me telling him he's in US for an exchange for 2 months. I was devastated. Because prior to our breakup, i had no clue from him whatsoever but his supposed plan to go for exchange. Obviously I felt betrayed.

 

I created a fake account to follow him and found all his new GIRL friends he made. And i was so devastated. But he would drunk text me one night, telling me of his PREVIOUS undying love for me and a few months down the road he would complain of having migraines and how much he is still angry at me. And i would catch him commenting on his friend's selfies, saying how gorgeous she was. SERIOUSLY, i dont understand what in the world he wants. He had already told me he fell out of love with me anyway. One minute he taunts me, one minute its like he is enjoying his SINGLE life, which he obviously knows i dont know. He was the one who left me. And even said he wants to be friends. And when i asked him why... he would say WHY NOT. Which obviously isnt a good enough reason.

 

 

I've been trying to find someone who can shed me some insight into my complex breakup. I really hope if any of you have been or have done this to your ex to please tell me what is going on. Because honestly, i feel betrayed and cheated but somehow stupidly, i still want to be with him.

[leoc1973]

When you would break up with him for short periods of time would you date other guys?

[Dontfindme]

None of us can give you the information that you seek. And honestly, he probably can't either which is why he hasn't.

 

He seems like a cruel individual for putting you through all that he did.

 

I know it's hard, but I'd suggest that instead of analyzing, and looking for answers - you start letting him go. The best way to do that is to block him. Block him everywhere - phone, email, delete that new account, stop online stalking.

 

Then start doing things for yourself if you haven't already - seek the comfort of your friends, and family, better your work/school prospects, and reinvigorate yourself - mentally, physically, and emotionally.

 

Know that you deserve better than someone who dismisses you as easily as he did.

[mightycpa]

It's not really all that complex. Here's the situation:

 

You still think you love him. But in reality, he's shattered that. There's so much pain mixed with that love, you can't tell the two things apart. It is probably only hurt feelings now, and you'd be walking on eggshells if you got back together with him, and you'd constantly wonder when he'd leave you. It would die of its own weight and pressure, having nothing real to sustain it.

 

For him, he has no interest in that. He obviously LIKES you, and he thinks you'd be a fine "friend", which no doubt would entitle him to a little sex every now and again. But monogamous life partner? NO WAY, and he's told you as much.

 

Now, you just have to see past the "love" that you feel, and start telling yourself the truth. It's one of the hardest things to do. But even after you do it, the pain will persist, until one day, you will reach indifference. Only then will you be free.