barbossa Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 very recently i have been used by women ( yes more than once recently) who i thought were interested in me when in fact they just wanted favors from me or emotional validation after getting what they wanted they either went ghost or friend zoned me How do i avoid being used this way in future? 1
dynamicboy Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 In this world people are used, abused and discarded. There is no short cut or recipe to avoid this One precios feature is thrust, confidence and empathy Be happy you can help someone in distress But don't get personal as they may want to manipulate you 1
Assasda Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 If this has been happening to you a lot. The problem is you OP. You befriend these girls, thinking that they will want to go out with you later. Dont be their friends if thats not what you want to be
TigerLilly78 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 very recently i have been used by women ( yes more than once recently) who i thought were interested in me when in fact they just wanted favors from me or emotional validation after getting what they wanted they either went ghost or friend zoned me How do i avoid being used this way in future? This happens to women as well and has been forever you need to wise up and learn how to not be a doormat while still being compassionate when you can value yourself to the point you will simpley not tolerate this type of negative behavior you should be sweet..
SawtoothMars Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 very recently i have been used by women ( yes more than once recently) who i thought were interested in me when in fact they just wanted favors from me or emotional validation after getting what they wanted they either went ghost or friend zoned me How do i avoid being used this way in future? Where did you get the impression that you can work your way into a relationship? I make sure to help out old ladies, kids, friends, family... ect. I'm not going to do stuff for some lady just because she is pretty. It's best to be very mercenary with them, and make sure everyone understands you are not a chump.
Maleficent Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Pay attention. That nagging little voice that tells you you are getting used and that you keep ignoring? ( don't lie - we all do it lol) When someone is using you, it's pretty darn obvious. But we are usually so infatuated we refuse to believe it. Ask someone on the outside of the situation.
oldshirt Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 I am assuming the reason you feel disappointed and used was because you did things for them that they wanted but they did not have sex with you and that is what you wanted. Well here are some very important lessens you need to learn and let soak in - - women do not reward "nice" behavior or good deeds with sex. Nor should they ever be expected to. - women only have sex with people they are attracted to and horny for. (And those are not necessarily the guys that do nice things for them or even treat them well for that matter) - good deeds and "nice" behavior do not make women horny or attracted to you. - if you want to have sex, you must be sexually attractive to women and they must also feel comfortable and safe with you. In otherwords you have to be attractive and sexy, but yet not be threatening to them. If you want to be romantically and sexually attractive to women, you must learn what traits, characteristics and behaviors attract them sexually, then you must develop and display those traits and characteristics in yourself. 3
mightycpa Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 I am assuming the reason you feel disappointed and used was because you did things for them that they wanted but they did not have sex with you and that is what you wanted. Well here are some very important lessens you need to learn and let soak in - - women do not reward "nice" behavior or good deeds with sex. Nor should they ever be expected to. - women only have sex with people they are attracted to and horny for. (And those are not necessarily the guys that do nice things for them or even treat them well for that matter) - good deeds and "nice" behavior do not make women horny or attracted to you. - if you want to have sex, you must be sexually attractive to women and they must also feel comfortable and safe with you. In otherwords you have to be attractive and sexy, but yet not be threatening to them. If you want to be romantically and sexually attractive to women, you must learn what traits, characteristics and behaviors attract them sexually, then you must develop and display those traits and characteristics in yourself. That's it, right there. You're "too nice". What's more, you feel like your "nice" behavior should be rewarded. Both of those things are wrong. 1) Affection is given without any thought of recompense. That is true for both the giver and the receiver. 2) If you're "doing things" for them, you are defining your own role. Stop doing that. Watch how your other friends get women to like them if it seems mysterious to you. You'll almost always see that something else is involved. It rarely or never involves favors.
MalachiX Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Very simple: If you want to be friends with these women then only treat them as you would a friend. Do something nice if you want to do something nice for them but don't expect it to lead to a relationship. If you find that you are always doing the nice things then stop as you would with any friendship. If you feel there is a connection then ask them out on an actual date and make your intentions known. Some women will keep someone "on the hook" because they like the attention and all the benefits but will never actually want to date this person. These women are users. Other women will end up having a guy pining after them because they are too scared to hurt his feeling and tell him they aren't interested. Finally, other women may end up just not realizing that you are interested in something more. For any of these scenarios, making your intentions known and not doing anything with the expectation of romantic reward will help you out.
Author barbossa Posted October 17, 2014 Author Posted October 17, 2014 Where did you get the impression that you can work your way into a relationship? I make sure to help out old ladies, kids, friends, family... ect. I'm not going to do stuff for some lady just because she is pretty. It's best to be very mercenary with them, and make sure everyone understands you are not a chump. the way we would flirt over text... overt flirting
TheGuard13 Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Don't do favors or give validation. Problem solved. 1
Mister Zen Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Its very easy to avoid falling into this trap. The answer is as simple as only do things because you enjoy them. Just like with your friends.. you hang out with them because you want to and you help them out because you actually like them. So if you don't want to do something for/with a woman.. just don't do it. Live by your own rules and don't do things you don't want to do because you think it will get you laid. Another tip is to get women to do YOU favors! I find women are more helpful than men most of the time. When I need a favor I usually ask a woman. 1
MalachiX Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 P.S. One more bit of advice, maybe don't refer to them as "females" if you're hoping for romance...
Cristo Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 very recently i have been used by women ( yes more than once recently) who i thought were interested in me when in fact they just wanted favors from me or emotional validation after getting what they wanted they either went ghost or friend zoned me How do i avoid being used this way in future? Simple. Stop going out of your way for hot girls until they prove themselves. 1
IronZ Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 very recently i have been used by women ( yes more than once recently) who i thought were interested in me when in fact they just wanted favors from me or emotional validation after getting what they wanted they either went ghost or friend zoned me How do i avoid being used this way in future? Just out of curiosity, when you say you get friend zoned, how does that happen exactly? Most of the time guys use the term friend zone to describe a situation in which they pine after a girl that they've never actually made a move on. When you meet these girls, do you actually make an effort to let them know you want to date? That could be one of your issues.
Cristo Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 I am assuming the reason you feel disappointed and used was because you did things for them that they wanted but they did not have sex with you and that is what you wanted. Well here are some very important lessens you need to learn and let soak in - - women do not reward "nice" behavior or good deeds with sex. Nor should they ever be expected to. - women only have sex with people they are attracted to and horny for. (And those are not necessarily the guys that do nice things for them or even treat them well for that matter) - good deeds and "nice" behavior do not make women horny or attracted to you. - if you want to have sex, you must be sexually attractive to women and they must also feel comfortable and safe with you. In otherwords you have to be attractive and sexy, but yet not be threatening to them. If you want to be romantically and sexually attractive to women, you must learn what traits, characteristics and behaviors attract them sexually, then you must develop and display those traits and characteristics in yourself. I disagree with this. In my opinion, women SHOULD reward good behavior with sex. The world would be a better place. Unfortunately, the real world is the opposite and this is the nature of women. OP, it's best to just acknowledge reality instead of clinging to a fantasy.
HereNorThere Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Don't chase em, replace em. Life isn't free, you gotta pay what you weigh. Mic drop. 1
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