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First experience with a woman- don't know what she wants


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Posted (edited)

Hi, I'm going to try to sum this up.

Back in June I told a friend of mine, who is gay, that I was attracted to her. We had only known one another a few months, and not very well, at this point. But I had always known I was likely bisexual... however, I had never had a chance to explore this.

So she and I began talking, for about a month but at that point, nothing had happened. I went away for about two weeks and when I was gone I received a message from the exboyfriend who broke my heart that he missed me. So I sort of pushed her aside, became involved with the ex again who-shockingly- broke my heart again. Note my sarcasm.

He and I were on and off for a couple months, and during one of our "off" periods, I was sexually intimate with her twice. We had decided between us that it was casual, espec since it was my first time, but I knew she wasn't thrilled the ex was still lurking in the picture. One day she sort of said out of nowhere that she would date me, but not til i was two months free of him. At this point I didn't know what exactly I was looking for with her, plus was still in love with him. It was complicated.

Fast forward a couple weeks... she and I are at a concert with lots of friends and get into sort of an argument, but make up. I ask if I can come over after the concert- she says yes- and she and her friend leave before it ends. I assumed she understood I was staying until the end but, couldn't communicate this because my phone died. So I texted her when I got home, late, and got no response so I assumed she was asleep.

Next morning she messages me saying how rude it was that I texted her at midnight. Then basically starts an argument with me- we argue about a few things that had occurred- and to my surprise BLOCKS me on facebook AND on her phone. Just totally cut off contact because of one misunderstanding. I was shocked, hurt, and upset. That day, I texted her from a friends phone asking to talk and then a couple of weeks later emailed her, trying again. No response. I was upset but eventually came to terms with that being over.

 

So almost two months go by and I see her at our friends birthday dinner. I Ignore her completely because I don't know what to expect, but notice she is friendly to me- offering to share food, etc. Still felt that same attraction/chemistry with her although we didn't interact a whole lot. The next few days I'm sort of looking for a text or something from her, but I got nothing. So I assumed the situation was the same as it had been.

THEN, last week, which was two weeks after the dinner I notice she has unblocked me on Facebook. That same day, she emails me and says: "My actions weren't that great last time we talked. I would like to fix things and invite you to a Halloween party. Work is busy but I will call you tonight or tomorrow." We end up talking on the phone, arguing a bit but also resolving things. The argument never got heated but i DID defend myself. We also talked in a nice, friendly way about a couple of other things going on in our life. It was tense at times, but also a nice conversation and I continue to like her. I said I'd go to the party on the 31st; during the conversation she mentioned maybe getting coffee before that. So a few days later I text her about coffee- she says she's working and will get back to me. This was Sunday, it's Thursday, and nothing.

 

From all of this, do you think she's just trying to be civil so we can be around one another in front of our mutual friends? Her email sounded like she wanted more than that, but she has not followed through with plans with me. I don't know what to think about this.

Edited by lissvarna
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