Gloria25 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 (edited) Ok, I've been crushing on a dude for a little bit... Long story short, I'm trying to not scare him but get him to be comfortable to engage me on a friendly basis...I mean, I think the attraction is there, but cuz of where he is in his life right now, don't think he's making a move. Sometimes I think really isn't into me, but sometimes I think he's still attracted. Anywho, like a the past couple of weeks we seem to have some friendly exchanges - which we haven't had in a lonnnnng time. So, I'm all excited cuz I think I got something I can build upon... But recently I wasn't at my "cutest" (I posted about it here) and I kinda like crossed paths with him and pretended like I didn't see him cuz I was not at my cutest and didn't want him to look at me much.. Well, today I tried to "make up" for me ignoring him the other day by just a friendly wave "Hi"and I don't know, I think he ignored me today.... So, I think I f-d this up again, am sad, and don't know what to do... I think I'm great at giving advice to others when it comes to stuff - why the heck can't I do right by me? BTW, I'm gonna go find a rock to hide myself under it... Edited October 16, 2014 by Gloria25
me85 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Oh Gloria, you poor sweet thing! Get your butt out from under that rock right this second. You are such a catch! Come on now. Don't be so insecure. You must really like this guy, huh? If he isn't responding then simply stop initiating contact with him. You never know what could happen but sometimes we have to take a step back and let them come to us. Like my Uncle always says, "Men are hunters." So we have to let them hunt for us. The waiting does suck. BUT what else can you do at this point? So tell us about this guy. Where'd you meet him? What's he like so far?? Why do you like him??
Author Gloria25 Posted October 16, 2014 Author Posted October 16, 2014 Oh Gloria, you poor sweet thing! Get your butt out from under that rock right this second. You are such a catch! Come on now. Don't be so insecure. You must really like this guy, huh? If he isn't responding then simply stop initiating contact with him. You never know what could happen but sometimes we have to take a step back and let them come to us. Like my Uncle always says, "Men are hunters." So we have to let them hunt for us. The waiting does suck. BUT what else can you do at this point? So tell us about this guy. Where'd you meet him? What's he like so far?? Why do you like him?? Well, I won't go into too many details about him...So far he seems to be like me, but I am a bit more forward than he. I like him cuz he seems to be a lot like me...Things about him that remind me of myself make me smile at times, but make me upset. For example, I think he's scared I might not like him - which upsets me...But, I'm scared he's not gonna like me either...So how the heck am I upset about a way of thought that I also share!?! But, like me, people say once they get to know me, I'm pretty cool and I was hoping that if he could get to know me, he could relax and just be himself. He also has a gf. I didn't know until I chatted him up, so I let it go, but I thought I saw signs of attraction, so I've been trying to be friendly. But, going back to my insecurities, she seems to offer him everything he needs and he really seems to adore her. So, I feel so stupid in trying to even keep on trying to chat him up....:( Thanks for inquiring, I'm going back to find that rock to crawl under....
Frank2thepoint Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 But recently I wasn't at my "cutest" (I posted about it here) and I kinda like crossed paths with him and pretended like I didn't see him cuz I was not at my cutest and didn't want him to look at me much.. Why did you do this? If he is interested in you, he is not going to care when you think you are cute or not. He just cares that he finds you cute. By doing this, you sent a bad message that maybe you are stuck up or moody. He also has a gf. Oh, nevermind.
Author Gloria25 Posted October 17, 2014 Author Posted October 17, 2014 Why did you do this? If he is interested in you, he is not going to care when you think you are cute or not. He just cares that he finds you cute. By doing this, you sent a bad message that maybe you are stuck up or moody. Oh, nevermind. Agreed, I should stop being so self-conscious and insecure...but, that's why I used my 6 year guy as an example, cuz I was already with him and yeah, no guy is gonna always see you at your best - but, in the initial stages of getting to know them, I guess we get worried about rejection? Also, my "monthly lady stuff" made her appearance today, so I guess that's why I've been moody this week. Also, the stuff that's been stressing me for the past two years is rearing its ugly head (again) and as I'm dealing with those pieces of trash, my stress level is elevating. I did pull out the meditation tracks and am working on mellowing out. Not to make excuses for my awkward behavior, but hope it helps to understand where I'm coming from. But seriously, I need to be consistent with my interactions with him. He doesn't know if I'm having lady stuff or about the stresses I'm dealing with and might think I'm a loon.
Keenly Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Cut the BS, stop playing games, and ask the man if he'd like to get coffee or whatever he likes. Or you can stand around doing nothing.
Author Gloria25 Posted October 17, 2014 Author Posted October 17, 2014 Cut the BS, stop playing games, and ask the man if he'd like to get coffee or whatever he likes. Or you can stand around doing nothing. I already invited him for a beer...and, while I wanted to jump his bones - I was serious about just having a beer and chatting (well, before I would jump him:bunny:). Not sure if the beer was too much for him cuz he knew it would lead into me jumping him. But, he did turn me down cuz he didn't believe it was a good idea.... So, that's why I've just been trying to keep it friendly - while trying to let him know that if one day he does decide to have a beer (or coffee), I'd be open to it ....So, I guess the ball's in his court if the issue of coffee (or a beer) is to be had in the future?
sid3 Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Ok, I've been crushing on a dude for a little bit... Long story short, I'm trying to not scare him but get him to be comfortable to engage me on a friendly basis...I mean, I think the attraction is there, but cuz of where he is in his life right now, don't think he's making a move. Sometimes I think really isn't into me, but sometimes I think he's still attracted. Anywho, like a the past couple of weeks we seem to have some friendly exchanges - which we haven't had in a lonnnnng time. So, I'm all excited cuz I think I got something I can build upon... But recently I wasn't at my "cutest" (I posted about it here) and I kinda like crossed paths with him and pretended like I didn't see him cuz I was not at my cutest and didn't want him to look at me much.. Well, today I tried to "make up" for me ignoring him the other day by just a friendly wave "Hi"and I don't know, I think he ignored me today.... So, I think I f-d this up again, am sad, and don't know what to do... I think I'm great at giving advice to others when it comes to stuff - why the heck can't I do right by me? BTW, I'm gonna go find a rock to hide myself under it... Further proof women are crazy. That aside take comfort knowing they also hold 51% in the balance of power over men.
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