cloud123 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I have met a girl at uni and we became good friends over time. I started to have feelings for her but she was in a relationship with her bf (now her ex) for 3 years. I did not say anything to her and at that time, her bf cheated on her. I was there for her and slowly I confessed my feelings for her. She asked me why I did not tell her earlier. I just said that I am not the kind of guy who breaks other's relationship. We dated on and off because she could not cope with others eyeing our relationship. At the end of uni level, we had a dispute where we went NC for four months. It was hard for both of us. But we met at graduation and and started to be friends again. She told me that she dated a guy but things went wrong because she still has feelings for me. We started to get to know each other and by chance we were working in the same company but in different locations. We started clearing everything and by June we started our relationship..Everything went well - we were seeing each other like twice or thrice a week after work...However couple days back, she was distant and I knew this because she told me at times that she would not talk and so on. She phoned me on Monday and told me that at times, she really likes my company but at times, it's as if I'm invading her space and that she feels suffocated. I told her many times that we both should and have a private life. But she told me that after her breakup with her ex she started to love her single life but at times needed someone by her side. She said she does not want to hurt me and she does not want to break up with me but following this discussion it's as if she was distant all the time..She told me that she had trust issues and that she does not have the same feeling she had when we were both at uni.. However, she started to phone me regularly and she seems much better than 2 weeks back (we have not seen each other for 3 weeks :/)...She told me that she already moved on about what she said to me and now she is feeling much better but the fact that we have not seen each other for 3 weeks is bugging me :/ (well i do know that we are both working) but it's as if she is not making time to see me.... I have been diagnostised with hernia and she phoned me everyday and yesterday told me that she was sorry we did not meet because of work schedule (well we both have busy schedules)... After all of this (2 months from now), she told me that she was seeing her ex while i was NC with her, that she was sorry and so on...However, she started to tell a lot of things as to why we can't be together for example : we do not have the same social status, she is not ready to be in a relationship, she does not feel at ease when she is in a relationship...This has been bugging me for all this time...she even blocked me on fb and on my friend's page i saw that she was with her ex and so on... I invested a lot into that girl and in the end, it's as if she did not care all along :/ but she wants to remain friends....For her it's like a simple formality, did she ever think about me for once ? :/ I still love her but i don't even know what is to be done :/ Any help please
Natsu21 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Delete all contacts and move on. She's in her 20s. It was bound to happen.
Chi townD Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Dude, run. She's telling you lies. Here's what's happening. She's having her cake and eating it too. She's trying to get you to fill her emotional needs and is seeing her Ex to get her physical needs met, but not committing to either one of you! How is that fair to you?!?! Dude, move on. Block her and stay a hard and dark NC on her. She made the choice not to date you anymore. She made the choice to have you out of her life. She doesn't get to dictate what kind of relationship she wants with you now.
Author cloud123 Posted October 16, 2014 Author Posted October 16, 2014 I have been trying to do this...at times I'm feeling well but at times it is really hard as I have invested a lot in this
Natsu21 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Dude, run. She's telling you lies. Here's what's happening. She's having her cake and eating it too. She's trying to get you to fill her emotional needs and is seeing her Ex to get her physical needs met, but not committing to either one of you! How is that fair to you?!?! Dude, move on. Block her and stay a hard and dark NC on her. She made the choice not to date you anymore. She made the choice to have you out of her life. She doesn't get to dictate what kind of relationship she wants with you now. Chi Town D, it's been a while dude! How ya been! I'm formerly Natsume21! Still helping folks I see. I remember, a year ago, I was asking the same advice. I was in this dude's' shoes and I was too involved in my feelings to see the bigger picture. It was a painful, but necessary realization.
Natsu21 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I have been trying to do this...at times I'm feeling well but at times it is really hard as I have invested a lot in this I invested 3 years in my relationship, and took me almost a year to get over. It won't be just something you turn off in an instant. Truth is, people don't tend to appreciate things they have an abundance of. That's why if anything works, it's going NC, not for her, but for yourself.
Author cloud123 Posted October 16, 2014 Author Posted October 16, 2014 Thank you for your prompt reply...I really appreciate all the help cause my life's been through hell lately and I really want to cope with all of this ... The problem is that our work is connected and at times i need to deal with her over the phone but I don't want to :/
Natsu21 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Thank you for your prompt reply...I really appreciate all the help cause my life's been through hell lately and I really want to cope with all of this ... The problem is that our work is connected and at times i need to deal with her over the phone but I don't want to :/ Treat her like a business associate. Cause that's all she is. In fact, it's better to just live and let live.
Author cloud123 Posted October 17, 2014 Author Posted October 17, 2014 i'll do like this .. however i'm just baffled that she treated me like that....i was always there to support her but in the end, she just dropped me like so pile of **** :/
Author cloud123 Posted November 15, 2014 Author Posted November 15, 2014 well just an update.... she is just bombarding me with messages,phone calls at work telling me that she loves me and wants to be with me and so on...I told her you are with your ex now so go and love him...I was never in since he was never out...she told me that because her grand parents re obscessed with status and that i did not fit into this category.... like she can't leave me alone !!!!! even when i'm with other girls
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