HereAndThenGone Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Like every night now I'm either having a nightmare without him in it or I'm having a dream about us together. Last night we were having sex in the dream and at some point I thought, "wait, this isn't real" and woke up. It's so sad. They're so vivid. I feel like I can still smell him this morning. How do I make these stop? They weren't happening the first week. Now I'm into the second week and they are literally every night. I feel like I'm doing worse today that some of the days the first week. It seems so messed up.
AaronSG Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I don't know how much comfort this might bring, but your not the only one going through the whole "I'm dreaming of my ex" thing! My dreams just recently started up, my ex-fiance and I have been broke up now for 3 months, she left what used to be our home 2.5 months ago, it's been a while, didn't think I'd be having such dreams about her start up recently, but I am. I'm having a funny feeling that it's mind trying to process the "unresolved issues" of the situation in my sleep. Or it might be my mind having one last bout of letting go, and parts of my mind now, even in sleep are fighting me. I don't know, but waking up from these sexual styled dreams in the dead of night is very disturbing. My first instinct is to look around for her, once the somber reality hits when I don't see her, talk about a punch to the gut. I hope these dreams don't last long for the both of us! 1
me85 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I hate to tell ya this kid, but the dreams will occur for a while. They'll go away for a bit but then come back. They're only dreams though. You dream about things that are heavy on your mind. Or what you see and talk about throughout the day. It's normal. You'll wake up feeling sad from them. They can even ruin your whole day sometimes but try your best not to let them. All the best! J 1
Author HereAndThenGone Posted October 16, 2014 Author Posted October 16, 2014 =( I feel like I can't get a break from thinking about him. I'm always so tired after work now, Around 7:30pm I'm in bed reading loveshack.org and other websites to just get a handle on myself. Then I go to sleep and my mind does this, and I wake up and feel exhausted from sleeping! I haven't been crying anymore, so I guess that's an improvement. I guess? Maybe I'm just in shock and the crying will start again. I hate crying, I almost never do. I hate losing my emotions like that, it's like I don't trust what I'll do in that state. When will I forget about him. I'm tired from him running around in my mind every second of everyday.
True Gent Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Dreaming about them is all part of your personal grieving and healing process. They will come and go for a while to come. You just have to not pay any attention to them once you're awake. Your subconscious is just trying to figure it all out. In time you'll get there. 1
DirtyHairy Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 =( I feel like I can't get a break from thinking about him. I'm always so tired after work now, Around 7:30pm I'm in bed reading loveshack.org and other websites to just get a handle on myself. Then I go to sleep and my mind does this, and I wake up and feel exhausted from sleeping! I haven't been crying anymore, so I guess that's an improvement. I guess? Maybe I'm just in shock and the crying will start again. I hate crying, I almost never do. I hate losing my emotions like that, it's like I don't trust what I'll do in that state. When will I forget about him. I'm tired from him running around in my mind every second of everyday. I feel the pain. It happens to the best of us. After being left from a 2.5 year relationship I dreamt about my ex for like 8 months. It was especially hard at the beginning and had dreams almost every night they came in waves after that. Some weeks I wouldn't dream about it but other weeks it would be every day. Lately after being recently being left about 7 weeks ago by my other ex I have been having extreme difficulties sleeping. I end up being tired when I get home but can't fall asleep until 1am most of the time. I feel afraid to fall asleep because I dream about her and I usually wake up and feel crushed because I know I'm alone. I'm not going to be with my ex and she won't talk to me. Its like I wake up every morning starting from square 1 again. I think about her 24/7. I might be a bad example though because I know and can admit that I have trouble letting go. Its not something I've ever been good at nor do I think I ever will be good at. 1
Justaguy30 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I had horrible dreams about my ex the first 5 months. The first 2 months were the worst though. I still dream about her every once in a while and its been 9 months or so but it gets less and less painful as time goes on. 1
Author HereAndThenGone Posted October 16, 2014 Author Posted October 16, 2014 Months??? I can't imagine this going on for much longer. =( It doesn't feel normal to be feeling this way. It's like self torture. I obviously have a hard time letting things go, too. I'm so sad today. I just want to get off work, go home and get drunk.
DirtyHairy Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Months??? I can't imagine this going on for much longer. =( It doesn't feel normal to be feeling this way. It's like self torture. I obviously have a hard time letting things go, too. I'm so sad today. I just want to get off work, go home and get drunk. Oh it definitely does feel like torture. But just remember that everyone is different you might only have these dreams for a little bit longer like a few weeks and maybe it'll last months no one really knows exactly since everyone's different. I wouldn't recommend getting drunk tho. Usually brings up sad emotions and you might do things you'll regret. That's just how I feel about it anyways
True Gent Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Oh it definitely does feel like torture. But just remember that everyone is different you might only have these dreams for a little bit longer like a few weeks and maybe it'll last months no one really knows exactly since everyone's different. I wouldn't recommend getting drunk tho. Usually brings up sad emotions and you might do things you'll regret. That's just how I feel about it anyways I agree the timeframe is an individual thing, it won't just stop all of a sudden. Absolutely right about the drinking too, it doesn't help.
me85 Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 It's been 15 months and I still dream of my ex and even about the ex before him once or twice too. Dreams are just dreams. Shake 'em off.
Justaguy30 Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 I'll tell you right now, drinking while you are in a bad emotional state is a horrible idea. Every bad decision I have made with NC or anything was while I was drunk. If you are sad now drinking just makes it so much worse. Everyone is different and things take time but I can tell you this. If this goes on for more than a month get in therapy and on meds because if you don't it will just take longer. I am at month 9 and still have bad days.
Author HereAndThenGone Posted October 17, 2014 Author Posted October 17, 2014 (edited) i know this about the drinking.. Luckily I had about 5oz of wine left at my apartment and I made myself stay home and not go out and buy more. I couldn’t get to sleep so I took ZzzQuil. 2 hours later I was finally getting tired. When I did finally get to sleep I dreamt that my mom and her fiancé were having a party and I was watching a few of the kids. But at some point she turned against me and it felt like I was one of the kids and she was disappointed in me, for what who knows. My mom and I are on good terms right now, but our views clash quite a lot and I do feel like she’s always disappointed in me. Anyways, yet another dream. I have an entire day here left at work. add;klgjdlh. I don’t know how I’m going to make it though. I keep seeing their tour pictures on Instagram. Fans tagging him at shows with #hessohandsome. I know I need to unfriend him but we ended on good terms and I don’t want him to know how much this sucks for me. I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS. UGH. Edited October 17, 2014 by HereAndThenGone
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