ThorntonMelon Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 To me this is very simple. Your ex has decided, likely due to immaturity, to spin things right now to your social grouping. She's painted you (sadly, accurately) as unable to get over her and obsessed with getting back together, and you're feeding into it right now. As most have said, I think honesty is the best policy. Just not to her. I would absolutely without question act going forward as if she didn't exist. Polite hello's and then move on. Period. End of story. No lingering, no glances, no hinting, nothing. If your mutual friends ask, you simply say that it was hard for you to let go, you now know that's best, and you're going to respect her wishes. And if anyone asks anything else you tell them you don't want to discuss it further. They'll respect it and respect you for it. Your feelings have been hurt. You owe no one a damn thing besides to be respectful. But you HAVE to stick to it. She cannot exist going forward. You want to cry about it, you do it at home in private. Never discuss it with her. Just do it.
Author JackJackxD Posted October 17, 2014 Author Posted October 17, 2014 I don't really agree with this. I'm sure my ex would love us to still be friends. As he said to me after we broke up, I am his best (well one of his best) friends. He would happily move our relationship back to a friendship. Sometimes I even consider it because he is my best friend...though then I think how I would feel when he ends up in another relationship and ...well...not sure I can do it without a whole lot of pain. I personally don't feel like you can be friends unless you both have truely lost feelings. I mean you can in name be "friends", but it will never be real friends. From my interactions so far with my EX I feel like she isn't actually trying to be friends with me. I can see that she is uncomfortable with sitting next to me, or being in a room alone with me. She doesn't really initiate a conversation with me too, the only time she talks is when I make a conversation with our group of friends and she sometimes response to what I say. (I.E I was talking about mint chocolate with the squad, and she says its disgusting). Also, I see how she makes an effort when she says bye to her other guy friends. She would energetically shout "BYE JOHN! (made up name)", whereas to me she would just say bye coldly without making any eye contact. This annoyed me a bit as she was the one who suggested being friends, and I don't think that is how you would act towards your friend. To me this is very simple. Your ex has decided, likely due to immaturity, to spin things right now to your social grouping. She's painted you (sadly, accurately) as unable to get over her and obsessed with getting back together, and you're feeding into it right now. As most have said, I think honesty is the best policy. Just not to her. I would absolutely without question act going forward as if she didn't exist. Polite hello's and then move on. Period. End of story. No lingering, no glances, no hinting, nothing. If your mutual friends ask, you simply say that it was hard for you to let go, you now know that's best, and you're going to respect her wishes. And if anyone asks anything else you tell them you don't want to discuss it further. They'll respect it and respect you for it. Your feelings have been hurt. You owe no one a damn thing besides to be respectful. But you HAVE to stick to it. She cannot exist going forward. You want to cry about it, you do it at home in private. Never discuss it with her. Just do it. She probably did. Before when I was in the "begging" stage, I told her that I would change. But she told me I could do whatever I want, but don't do it for her since she never asked for it. Thinking back now, I feel like anything I do she wouldn't care. Although at the moment I'm still attracted to her, I just feel like whatever I do she probably won't notice, so there is no point in doing it.
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