Kitchen Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I'm 25yo and male, as is my best friend, and we've been close for 4 years. He is the greatest friend a man can ask for. He's always there for me, and we've never had a fight. I consider myself luckier than most people surrounding me, for having such a great friend. I feel this way especially because growing up I didn't have any friends at all, I was lonely. Now my social life has blossomed. I am feeling a bit hurt over something though, and it's as follows: we both have our own separate group of close friends. I've hung out with his buddies plenty of times, and he's hung out with mine, and it's always been fun. But I just found out that him and a few of his buddies will be going on a road trip next week for a sporting event. I think it's great they are going, and they are all huge sports fans, while I am not so much. I am a bit hurt that I wasn't invited. I have talked to him in recent times about how I think it would be cool to explore other cities for sporting events and even talked about how we should go some time. Now I know nothing about who planned the trip. And like I said, I've never been a sports fan, unlike them. But I feel if the roles were reversed, I'd invite him. In fact, I tend to invite him to nearly all of hangouts with my group of friends, but he doesn't always do to me. For the most part it's fine given, as I said, they are all big sports fans and that's what they generally do. But in this case, given that we just recently talked about traveling to another city for a sporting event, and that's something he is exactly doing next week, I am hurt for not being invited. Knowing the type of guy he is, I am assuming that it was one of his friends who planned it, and he didn't want to butt in or invite anyone of his own, so that he doesn't become a hassle for them. He's very nice like that, and doesn't ever like overstepping his boundaries or even coming close to them. He never self invites himself, let alone a best friend like me. But like I said, I'm feeling hurt, so I thought I'd post for some support from the loveshack community. Maybe it's because I never had friends as a kid, why I hold on to the ones I have so tightly, and am overly sensitive when I feel left out. Thanks for reading.
Dontfindme Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Sounds like you both have a great friendship. I think you're probably right to assume that it was someone else's plan, that he didn't want to butt into by inviting his own people.
Author Kitchen Posted October 16, 2014 Author Posted October 16, 2014 Sounds like you both have a great friendship. I think you're probably right to assume that it was someone else's plan, that he didn't want to butt into by inviting his own people. Yea, maybe so. But even so, I'm upset about it. Do I bring it up with him? If so, how should I? The problem is that he's way too nice and passive. He never brings anything up even if it bothers him. Most things don't bother him anyway because he either brushes therm off or makes excuses for people who hurt him. This makes it extra hard and awkward to bring it up with him, given he would never bring anything up himself.
Dontfindme Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Yea, maybe so. But even so, I'm upset about it. Do I bring it up with him? If so, how should I? The problem is that he's way too nice and passive. He never brings anything up even if it bothers him. Most things don't bother him anyway because he either brushes therm off or makes excuses for people who hurt him. This makes it extra hard and awkward to bring it up with him, given he would never bring anything up himself. Personally, I like clearing things up. If you feel like it will eat away at you, then I think you should bring it up to him. And since you're posting here, I'm going to assume it has been on your mind and quite bothersome for you. I think the best time to talk to him would be after his trip. That way, it doesn't upset him while he's actually there, and also so he doesn't feel obligated to bring you along, and complicate things, you know? You can bring it up casually, when he's telling you how his trip went.
preraph Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 You're exactly right. It is not his place to invite people, as he was an invited guest. You can't do that.
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