d0nnivain Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Losing some coordination and giggling is called tipsy. Drunk is next level. Blackout is outcome. Simple is that. The legal definition of drunk is having a BAC in excess of 0.08. Very few people are more than giggly & uncoordinated at that point. Even fewer "black out." Nobody was mean to you on this thread. People were blunt & that may have been a bit hard to hear but the real message is balance & communication. Just because one person in a relationship has fear about something does not entitle the other person to prohibit it.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 OP, how old are both of you? Has she given you any reason not to trust her in the past? (Leave your ex out of this) In what context is she going to be drinking? Apologies if I've missed a response to my above questions somewhere else in the thread. And getting drunk most certainly does not always lead to blacking out.
Author Jbum5 Posted October 17, 2014 Author Posted October 17, 2014 OP, how old are both of you? Has she given you any reason not to trust her in the past? (Leave your ex out of this) In what context is she going to be drinking? Apologies if I've missed a response to my above questions somewhere else in the thread. And getting drunk most certainly does not always lead to blacking out. She's 27 and I'm 28. Context is that she is working at a old job (new location, hence LD) where she has made new friends.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 She's 27 and I'm 28. Context is that she is working at a old job (new location, hence LD) where she has made new friends. Ok. And she has ever given you reason not to trust her?
umirano Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Nobody was mean to you on this thread. People were blunt & that may have been a bit hard to hear but the real message is balance & communication. The first two pages of this thread are baseless accusations directed at the OP and jumping at conclusions based on a mere two posts by the OP. Hardly quality advice. Just because one person in a relationship has fear about something does not entitle the other person to prohibit it. He never even alluded to prohibit his GF anything. Why do you have to keep putting words in his mouth? Jeez...
Chemist Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Losing some coordination and giggling is called tipsy. Drunk is next level. Blackout is outcome. Simple is that. I read your advice but right from the first response was accusations of jealousy, control, and whatnot. Could have just said "no, you don't need to be mad because..." comfort was enough, but the negativity and insults just aggravated me. Get it? Anyways, if you were in a relationship and you even gave a **** about losing someone you'd know that you at least bring it up. Up to this point I've only posted here and brought no mention to her yet. Calm your horses. I came to ask for advice and so far I think maybe 3 replies were helpful out of 50. that's because you're unwilling to listen. You are unconfident at best, jealous and controlling at worst. you tell us. we can only judge what you give us.
intricate Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Wow, okay, crazy thread up in here. For the OP, if you don't feel comfortable, tell your girlfriend this. If she asks why, tell her you are afraid that someone may hurt her because that's just how some places are with drunk people. Tell her that you care about her and that, at the very least, she should get drunk with a responsible friend who will be the designated driver. I get that you would feel uncomfortable, but really, there's nothing you can do but to let her go. If she cheats, then at least now you know rather than many years later when you have kids with her or something.
HereNorThere Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 She's 27 and I'm 28. Context is that she is working at a old job (new location, hence LD) where she has made new friends. Holy crap, you're 28! I was thinking this was some college freshman thread. 28? Yeah man, you need to talk to your insurance provider about talking to professional. 28? 1
umirano Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Holy crap, you're 28! I was thinking this was some college freshman thread. 28? Yeah man, you need to talk to your insurance provider about talking to professional. 28? OH look! How original! Another poster jumping on the let's-pathologize-the-OP bandwagon. He asked whether he can be upset. There are 50yos on here asking whether they can be upset at their teenage kid not greeting them kindly enough and they would never get this kind of flak. Even if the answer seems obvious to you, why do you have to suggest the OPs mental health is the problem? Can anyone explain the aggression? I'm beginning to think a great deal of the answers here are driven by the need to conform to a twisted idea of women's rights. Guys, emancipation is not about being able / allowed to drink really. And since a lot of words are put into the OP's mouth, he wasn't asking about whether he should prohibit her to drink. FACT!
veggirl Posted October 18, 2014 Posted October 18, 2014 Honestly I think it's weird she even told you she was going to drink. Also I'm curious if you've ever been drunk. I've been drunk plenty of times, it does NOT mean blacked out...you have some strange ideas of drinking. It's hard to comment because I don't understand the dynamics of having to run this by your bf and having it be an issue. Very strange. Seems like such a small thing to get all worked up about. Have you guys met irl? Is this a temporary LDR? 1
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