bebegal Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 After reading the rules I have a question: been dating this guy for about 3 wks. I dont want him tho think he is the only guy im dating.. (ya know let him know that other guys ask me out besides him) I want him to wonder what Im doing when im not with him. I want to shake things up a bit. How do I let him know I do go out wiht other guys. without acutally telling him.. or at least wonder ..? Just reading the Rules and it says they are supposed to think we have an answering machine full of guys asking us out........ Any tips?
NTB Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 i don't think there should be any rules to dating but that is just me and on the other hand if you have only been seeing/dating each other for 3 weeks i think he might think that already and he is most likely seeing other girls too.
Bronzepen Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Just say I have plans this weekend and your meeting a friend.
Illusion24 Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Well my mom always told me to make myself look as if I'm always busy...say no a few times and say yes other times when he asks you out and let him know you had prior engagements...but don't let him know it's to go out on another date???!!! You don't need to give him an explanation if he's just a guy you're dating...You want him to wonder not go off and find someone else while you're playing little games with him...Just make it a little harder on him but not to hard Remember guys like a challenge but they don't like to seem desperate either..they will get tired of chasing your A**
iceisles Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Guys will usually wonder pretty easily. As long as you're keeping busy, I'm sure it will be in the back of his mind. Bronze's idea is right on.
Linlin Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Bronzepen is right. Just say that you are going out with friends. No other reason to tell anything else until you are exclusive.
tiki Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by bebegal After reading the rules I have a question: been dating this guy for about 3 wks. I dont want him tho think he is the only guy im dating.. (ya know let him know that other guys ask me out besides him) I want him to wonder what Im doing when im not with him. I want to shake things up a bit. How do I let him know I do go out wiht other guys. without acutally telling him.. or at least wonder ..? Just reading the Rules and it says they are supposed to think we have an answering machine full of guys asking us out........ Any tips? No offense man, but if I were dating you, I'd want to dump you already. Enough with the games! Play for love.
d'Arthez Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Depends on the guy if it is a good tactic or not. I am highly flexible in my schedules and busy, so I would take these "games" as showing a lack of interest. I'd move on. I am not interested in sharing my life with someone for 5 minutes in the week, and only when it suits the other person.
EC Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 I hate games as well...but sometimes you want to make theguy wonder a little bit. I read in some love book one time that you should hang out with them a lot..a lot...like 4 times in a row and have the best time...then suddenly get really busy. It makes them wonder and it makes them miss you. I mean thats what i read anyways..lol I did it to my bf and hey It worked. lol
alphamale Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by bebegal Just reading the Rules and it says they are supposed to think we have an answering machine full of guys asking us out........ Any tips? yes, be vague, BEBEGAL. if he asks where u were on a certain nite just say "oh, i was busy" and don't give any more detail. he will naturally assume u were out with another guy. or if he asks you out for particular nite & youre already booked just say "i already have plans that evening" and don't say any thing more.
NTB Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 i agree....... what is the deal with the games....... i dated (well saw her a couple of times) a girl once and she did the "i am busy tonight" i quit calling and then a week later her gf's are asking me why i am cold and didn't call her again. i didn't think she was interested so i moved on to someone who was...... if your looking for love and a person to share it with there shouldn't be any game playing.
alphamale Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by NTB if your looking for love and a person to share it with there shouldn't be any game playing. that is a pretty idealistic stmt NTB. most people who live in the real world have to deal with and play the games. it is part of life and part of human nature. it is a dance and part of courtship for most people.
iceisles Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 The good news is not everyone plays games, and if two people share the "no B.S." sentiment, it makes things a LOT easier. Unfortunately, it is difficult to find people who don't involve themselves in these cat and mouse games, which probably explains why there are so many love songs about people playing games.
EC Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 that is a pretty idealistic stmt NTB. most people who live in the real world have to deal with and play the games. it is part of life and part of human nature. it is a dance and part of courtship for most people. I agree. No matter what even when you don't think your playing games you are. When you are teasing and flirting.. what are you doing? Its a form of "playing games". I generally don't like playing games and playing the cat and mouse chase but In this lifetime you need to sometimes. Whether you'd like to or not.
alphamale Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by EC I agree. No matter what even when you don't think your playing games you are. When you are teasing and flirting.. what are you doing? Its a form of "playing games". I generally don't like playing games and playing the cat and mouse chase but In this lifetime you need to sometimes. Whether you'd like to or not. Good point EC. Very few people actually enjoy and like playing games but smart folk understand that you need to and that the better you are at these games the more successful you'll be. If anyone wants to tell me that the US Congress does not play political games all day long I will laugh in their face.
WalkingTall Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Games..... Why? The way I see it is that be honest, and come out and say you are seeing other people... We are men, and for the most part you have to be blunt with us. When I was dating multiple people, I let them know outright what the situation was. Obvioulsly using a little tact, but they were on the same page and not one of them objected. I feel it's better to let him know where you stand because then he can make the decision if he wants to be in the situation, games or no. And to say that most people play games... maybe but IMO playing games leads to deceit and that may start a trend in the relationship.
d'Arthez Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by NTB if your looking for love and a person to share it with there shouldn't be any game playing. The thing is, that if someone says he or she is busy, that person should not expect the person who called to keep the interest as high. And may expect that person to move on, to someone who is interested. That is the risk with these kind of games. Even if they were not games. So what if you are busy? It is not forbidden to act actively yourself. So the girl waited for a week? 6 nights, and she could not be bothered to call? You were right, you better move on. Added: If this was in the "rules book", I'd go to a library and date the book.
alphamale Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by WalkingTall When I was dating multiple people, I let them know outright what the situation was. Obvioulsly using a little tact, but they were on the same page and not one of them objected. no, that is good WALKINGTALL. you should be honest. but many would agree that you were still playing "games" cause you were dating multiple people at the same time and using the others to make one jealous or playing them all off of each other. some peopole would say that dating more than one person at a time is playing games so it depends on what your definition is.
NTB Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 well why is it that when a girl wants a guy to think or wants him to know that she is seeing more than one guy it is a game but when a guy is blunt and says hey i am seeing like 5 girls can you live with that all of a sudden he is a man whore a playa and a pimp and all these other things?????.......
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Day 1. You get asked out on a date. You have fun and like the person you are with. Day 2. You get asked on another date and you go again with the same person. Day 3. You get asked by another person on a date and you go and have fun and it's a nice person whom you also like Day 4. You get asked on a date by a third person and you go and have a great time. Day 5. Person #1 asks you out again and you go have a good time. It is none of #1, #2 or #3's business what you are doing with YOUR time. Why is it a game???? I don't understand. The only thing I can think of is if you are sleeping with the person, telling the person "I love you" or doing things to make the person "think" you are exclusive. That would be game playing. Why should it be up to the person multi-dating to explain themselves? If you are on the other end, if you WANT to be exclusive, then it's up to YOU to ask the person you want to date if they'd like to be exclusive. Then and only then should they tell you No, I am seeing other people or No, I would like to meet new people and date non-exclusively.
monkey00 Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale yes, be vague, BEBEGAL. if he asks where u were on a certain nite just say "oh, i was busy" and don't give any more detail. he will naturally assume u were out with another guy. or if he asks you out for particular nite & youre already booked just say "i already have plans that evening" and don't say any thing more. footnote: Girls are never too busy to tell you they're busy.... But i dont think i'd want an easy catch...i say let the games go on! BUT If the first time i ask a girl out and they make an excuse w/o giving me a counteroffer for a different day/time, i'll find someone else who has the time. Bebegal: if you truly are seeing other guys in addition to him, tell him striaght out. Guys dont want to be played for a fool. Give him the option of staying or walking away. He'll respect you more if he finds out like this than when he finds out on his own later. if i were dating several girls at a time, i wouldnt hide it from them. Whether they interpret the girl as one of my friends or dates, is up to them.
Author bebegal Posted March 11, 2005 Author Posted March 11, 2005 wow.. thanks for all of the replies to this one. touchy subject. Just dont want ot seem to desperate and like I have already made myself exclusive. Back in the day I just do not remember dating to be so hard. I mean I feel like if you do not play games you get dumped. guy thinks your easy/desperate.. they say guys like challenges/excitement..such as why they love sports. just for once I want it to be easy..!!?
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