kimmi Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Long story but Ill make it short as I can. History : boyfriend and i have known each other over 26 years , dated a few times , I was auto in love with him, 1991 found out he has a terminal illness that is incurable, lost contact for many years, started talking on facebook and he ended up moving to where I was , promised to be just friends and I can take of him ( needs help.due to iillness) , that ladted about a month then we started to get serious. 2.5 years later and many struggles along the way he asked me to marry him. The problem is I think he is just scared of losing me because I do take care if him , we were fighting that day as well and I told him I wanted to just be single and I promised to still take care of him . ( i would not ever walk away because he has no one to help him all family members have walked away due to fear of the illness as it is genitic ) . What makes me think this is today I said that I wanted my family only kinda of thing ( they all live very far from us, he straight out said no way ! I want a cruise . So i assume that its a city hall fast thing and this just hurts me. And honestly I dont want that at all . Why would he expect that Im very close to my family
cerridwen Posted October 22, 2014 Posted October 22, 2014 So, given your reservations, do you plan to hold off marrying? 1
StrongLass Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 If it doesn't feel right for you then don't agree to it. If he isn't willing/able to accommodate your wishes into an agreeable compromise for the two of you then I wouldn't agree to marry him, because that doesn't bode well for consideration of your wishes farther down the line. I'm not liking this idea of him wanting a caretaker figure legally bound to him but if it doesn't feel burdensome to you then so be it, it's your life. 1
Arieswoman Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Stronglass, I am sorry that your bf is seriously ill. What is the prognosis for his condition? However, don't allow him to lay a guilt trip on you and don't stay with him out of pity. we were fighting that day as well and I told him I wanted to just be single This sounds to me like he proposed out of desperation. Unless you truly love and care for this man and are prepared to be his caretaker 24/7 do not marry him.
StrongLass Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Stronglass, I am sorry that your bf is seriously ill. What is the prognosis for his condition? However, don't allow him to lay a guilt trip on you and don't stay with him out of pity. This sounds to me like he proposed out of desperation. Unless you truly love and care for this man and are prepared to be his caretaker 24/7 do not marry him. I agree w/ your analysis, but I think you're misreading some things, as it's OP's bf who's ill & I'm not OP.
Arieswoman Posted October 26, 2014 Posted October 26, 2014 Stronglass, Apols, my mistake,, I misread the names as I scrolled down. My comments hould have been addressed to kimmi. Apols kimmi 1
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