Darren2013 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 I am 34 years old. At my age I am embarrassed that I haven't been married in the past. I do not have a single marriage under my belt. I don't want potential dating prospects to know that. I might as well go ahead and lie and say I am divorced and make up a convincing story of what happened just in case they ask for details of what went wrong in my past marriage. I could make up a story of sins I committed in the relationship that contributed to the divorce. This way it doesn't look like I am putting all the blame on my ex wife. Putting all the blame on an ex wife would cause current dating partners to be suspicious and wonder why I am going to great lengths to look like an angel in my past relationship. So I figure in order for the story to be convincing I can make up a sin such as how I used to be poor at money management and that led to alot of fighting between my ex wife and I. I would buy expensive stuff without checking with her first and so after awhile she got fed up and wanted a divorce. So I have marked it on both my dating profile and Facebook that I am divorced. I think if a man hasn't ever been married by age 30 he should make up a divorce story when trying to date.
ComingInHot Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 I am 34 years old. At my age I am embarrassed that I haven't been married in the past. I do not have a single marriage under my belt. I don't want potential dating prospects to know that. I might as well go ahead and lie and say I am divorced and make up a convincing story of what happened just in case they ask for details of what went wrong in my past marriage. I could make up a story of sins I committed in the relationship that contributed to the divorce. This way it doesn't look like I am putting all the blame on my ex wife. Putting all the blame on an ex wife would cause current dating partners to be suspicious and wonder why I am going to great lengths to look like an angel in my past relationship. So I figure in order for the story to be convincing I can make up a sin such as how I used to be poor at money management and that led to alot of fighting between my ex wife and I. I would buy expensive stuff without checking with her first and so after awhile she got fed up and wanted a divorce. So I have marked it on both my dating profile and Facebook that I am divorced. I think if a man hasn't ever been married by age 30 he should make up a divorce story when trying to date. Why exactly is that again? I mean why are you lying about being Divorced? I'm thinking that being a liar to get a date is probably Not the best way to start out. Please explain a little more and what your end game is once you get a date* 2
Author Darren2013 Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 The end game at the end of the 1st date is to hope and pray that she enjoyed my company enough to warrant a 2nd date. As far as lying? That depends on what you lie about. Lying about being divorced is a white lie. It isn't the kind of lie that hurts others since there is no real benefit in her knowing the truth that I have never been married.
Ducky71 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 ??? I must have missed the part that says women are more attracted to divorced men... I'm older than you and I don't have any marriages "under my belt" (whatever that means) but I'm not about to tell some bogus story about my past just to attract a woman. How many marriages should one have "under their belt"? Call me old fashioned but I'm thinking...ummm...ONE!?!? If you're so unhappy with yourself, man up and make some changes, don't make s*it up, it always comes back to bite you in the a** 3
Author Darren2013 Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 Thank you. It is not like any new girlfriend is going to be interested in seeing pictures of my ex wife or wanting to contact them to verify that they exist. If anything she would look at it as a good thing that I am not carrying around pictures of my ex wife as it shows I have mentally put the divorce behind me.
Author Darren2013 Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 ??? I must have missed the part that says women are more attracted to divorced men... I'm older than you and I don't have any marriages "under my belt" (whatever that means) but I'm not about to tell some bogus story about my past just to attract a woman. How many marriages should one have "under their belt"? Call me old fashioned but I'm thinking...ummm...ONE!?!? If you're so unhappy with yourself, man up and make some changes, don't make s*it up, it always comes back to bite you in the a** Unfortunately last time I checked I can't change the past. I can't go back and rewrite my marriage history. This is one of those things I can't change.
Ducky71 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Unfortunately last time I checked I can't change the past. I can't go back and rewrite my marriage history. This is one of those things I can't change. You don't HAVE a marriage history bro!! You say you can't change it but are trying to re-write it with some bogus story??? Good luck with all that mess 3
Author Darren2013 Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 You don't HAVE a marriage history bro!! You say you can't change it but are trying to re-write it with some bogus story??? Good luck with all that mess You suggested I make changes if I am ashamed of my past. There's no way to change things so my only option when it comes to things I have no power to change is to kind of falsify my history.
darkmoon Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 (edited) divorced sounds like you are not good at relationships, bitter even, not something to put on a profile, bad with money sounds like you will want her to be the responsible one, groan, while you remain happy to mess up, getting into fighting is not a plus either too young to have known what you want, not sure of who you were til you matured and so not sure what you could offer, working overtime on developing a hot cv in your youth, never met the right girl, did not want to promise a forever to the wrong girl, singleness was boring or lonely... Edited October 15, 2014 by darkmoon 2
Author Darren2013 Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 Well I guess it is just like when it comes to employment. There comes a certain age when if you do not have any work experience under your belt employers are going to be suspicious about that and less inclined to hire you. They will be concerned why you waited until age 30 to apply for your first job. Well like with dating there comes an age where society expects you to have some experience under your belt like a past marriage, etc.
Maleficent Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 The thing is, just as many women will be turned off by the fact you are divorced. 4
Author Darren2013 Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 The thing is, just as many women will be turned off by the fact you are divorced. I will certainly find out soon enough. If that becomes verified in my experience then I may have to say that I am currently married but looking.
Maleficent Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 I will certainly find out soon enough. If that becomes verified in my experience then I may have to say that I am currently married but looking. Why on earth would you do that?!? 3
Art_Critic Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 I'm thinking that being a liar to get a date is probably Not the best way to start out. Yeah.. let's say the relationship takes off and in 3 months you are having to introduce her to your family and then she finds out you were never married.. bam... you WILL be dumped immediately 3
Woggle Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Just be honest about what you are. Why start something based on a lie? 1
lollipopspot Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Some of your posts are so out-there they make me laugh. That being said, I think you should just embrace your weird, quirky, anxious, insecure self and be honest with people about who you are. It's way more appealing than lying to cover up who you are, because people are going to sense you're trying to hide something. 3
MissBee Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 (edited) I am 34 years old. At my age I am embarrassed that I haven't been married in the past. I do not have a single marriage under my belt. I don't want potential dating prospects to know that. I might as well go ahead and lie and say I am divorced and make up a convincing story of what happened just in case they ask for details of what went wrong in my past marriage. I could make up a story of sins I committed in the relationship that contributed to the divorce. This way it doesn't look like I am putting all the blame on my ex wife. Putting all the blame on an ex wife would cause current dating partners to be suspicious and wonder why I am going to great lengths to look like an angel in my past relationship. So I figure in order for the story to be convincing I can make up a sin such as how I used to be poor at money management and that led to alot of fighting between my ex wife and I. I would buy expensive stuff without checking with her first and so after awhile she got fed up and wanted a divorce. So I have marked it on both my dating profile and Facebook that I am divorced. I think if a man hasn't ever been married by age 30 he should make up a divorce story when trying to date. Are you being serious or are you joking? I have never heard of any rule that a man has to be married by 30...NEVER...I understand lots of women get up in arms about not marrying by 30 but I have never known it to be a thing where people are appalled that a 34 year old man hasn't married before. These days 30s are like the new 20s esp for educated people anyway, where a lot of men and women pursue careers before they marry so are in their 30s when they get married. I think making up an elaborate lie about your life, when found out, which it most likely will be, will make you seem like something is wrong with you, not the fact that you never married. If I found out a man made up a fake wife, fake divorce, fake story of her issues and his I would dump him immediately as I'd think he was some kind of pathological liar and I would begin to distrust everything he's ever told me if he went through all that trouble to do that. Btw a white lie is a trivial lie often used to spare someone's feelings. Concocting a fake divorce story with details is severely deceptive and instead of giving someone a real picture of you you're trying to lure them into dating you on (extremely misguided) false pretenses. Edited October 16, 2014 by MissBee 2
amaysngrace Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 You should just tell the truth and say you always wanted to be married and have children but you just haven't met the right one yet. Some women eat that crap up with a spoon. 3
salparadise Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Unfortunately last time I checked I can't change the past. I can't go back and rewrite my marriage history. This is one of those things I can't change. I'm confused- I thought you were saying... never mind, my reading comprehension needs improvement Why not just make up the whole story about who you are. Ever dream of being a Superhero? Something tells me that fulfilling that divorce fantasy won't be too difficult... assuming you can find someone who believes you long enough to say I do.
organizedchaos Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Some people on this site really blow my mind with their thinking. Just when I thought I've heard it all. It's no wonder it's filled with so many struggling dudes. 3
Toodaloo Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 So I have marked it on both my dating profile and Facebook that I am divorced. I think if a man hasn't ever been married by age 30 he should make up a divorce story when trying to date. Oh Darren you have it so so very wrong!!! Between a chap that hasn't been married and one that has I would go for the one that hasn't!!! Stop over thinking all this stuff and just be yourself! If I found out you lied I would be livid and you would be out that door so fast your feet wouldn't touch the ground... 3
Priv Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Oh Darren you have it so so very wrong!!! Between a chap that hasn't been married and one that has I would go for the one that hasn't!!! This. I would have understood the other way around with the divorced person saying they are single (they are, aren't they IMO...), than this. Being divorced is more stigmatizing than never been married. 2
littleblackheart Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I think it's a genius idea. Have you also thought of adding a couple of children, to liven up your back-up story? It's a proven fact that any single person's first choice in the dating world is a young divorced person with very young dependents - don't thank me for the tip, I'm just happy to help. It's also a proven fact that the best chance of success to start a relationship is to tell a lie. Best of luck OP 5
Toodaloo Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I think it's a genius idea. Have you also thought of adding a couple of children, to liven up your back-up story? It's a proven fact that any single person's first choice in the dating world is a young divorced person with very young dependents - don't thank me for the tip, I'm just happy to help. It's also a proven fact that the best chance of success to start a relationship is to tell a lie. Best of luck OP Darren - just in case you didn't notice that was sarcasm... we British are very good at that... As an aside did you actually ask that girl out in the end? I am sure under all this weird stuff you are a sweet guy. Please let the girls see that and stop all this peculiar behavior. You don't need to be anyone other than yourself. 1
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