cottom Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Having this tomorrow, She wants the relationship to be fun and exciting, going out, party, no jealousy etc. We started off like that but lately ive been put under intense stress from new work, my grandad i was caring for about to die, facing legal issues from a car incident, moving 100 miles away monday to friday and only seeing her saturday night i became clingy and pushed the relationship to fast into the settled stage away from getting to know each other. This made her unhappy for the last few weeks. How do i go into this talk tomorrow and come out with her wanting me desperately... I know not to be the mr nice guy "ill do whatever you want if you get with me" but not to sure how to put that into practice. I know not to beg or plead with her to stay with me whatever it takes. But how do i explain that it was the stress lately and not sound like im making excuses and saying that i will be like this everytime i go through troubles...?
Author cottom Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 On top of this ive been invited to a party for my mates gfs 25th on saturday and told to bring someone if i want, my main mates all do bar work etc so are working saturday night, the other mate is off for a weekend with a girl hes seeing... I want to invite this gf/exgf (complicated) shes the only one left free. But i dont want to invite her after we are thinking about breaking up and talking about whether we should break up or not. If i was to ask her now how do i ask? Was thinking: "look dependant on how things come out tomorrow, ive been invited to a party on saturday with a +1 sam, ben, matt all have work and seans off with jess somewhere, fran hates these people so do you want to come with?"
smackie9 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 OK so you don't want to beg but you want some how to magically make her stick with you even tho you can no longer fulfill her expectations? Does that really sound fair to her? Just let her go if she feels she will be too unsatified with the arrangement. You are asking us whether to invite her to a party even tho you two might be splitting up? It's Wednesday, you have plenty of time to call her and talk to her about it OR you can take her to the party, have a great time, then talk to her about it later.
d0nnivain Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Ask her what she wants then decide if you are willing to give it to her. With everything else in your life, the timing for this may simply be wrong.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Having this tomorrow, She wants the relationship to be fun and exciting, going out, party, no jealousy etc. We started off like that but lately ive been put under intense stress from new work, my grandad i was caring for about to die, facing legal issues from a car incident, moving 100 miles away monday to friday and only seeing her saturday night i became clingy and pushed the relationship to fast into the settled stage away from getting to know each other. This made her unhappy for the last few weeks. How do i go into this talk tomorrow and come out with her wanting me desperately... I know not to be the mr nice guy "ill do whatever you want if you get with me" but not to sure how to put that into practice. I know not to beg or plead with her to stay with me whatever it takes. But how do i explain that it was the stress lately and not sound like im making excuses and saying that i will be like this everytime i go through troubles...? That isn't humanly possible. You cannot make someone feel a certain way just because you do. Is this the same girl from your other thread, the one who you feel is pulling away? If so, it seemed that she was just losing interest. I don't think you can assume you caused all of this and thus have it all under control. I wouldn't have this talk if it's the same girl. (Apologies if I've confused you with someone else)
ExpatInItaly Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 On top of this ive been invited to a party for my mates gfs 25th on saturday and told to bring someone if i want, my main mates all do bar work etc so are working saturday night, the other mate is off for a weekend with a girl hes seeing... I want to invite this gf/exgf (complicated) shes the only one left free. But i dont want to invite her after we are thinking about breaking up and talking about whether we should break up or not. If i was to ask her now how do i ask? Was thinking: "look dependant on how things come out tomorrow, ive been invited to a party on saturday with a +1 sam, ben, matt all have work and seans off with jess somewhere, fran hates these people so do you want to come with?" And please do not say this to her. It will make her feel like your last resort and that's not cool.
veggirl Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Is this the 18 yr old? if you want anything BUT carefree and casual, you should look elsewhere. Not to mention why would you want to be with someone who expects you to be partying and fun and all that 24/7? She bails because you get "clingy" when your life is full of hardships...not a winner. Don't you want more than someone like that?
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