Trotters Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Ive heard many people say the truth always comes out after you've cheated several times even if it takes years. But how would truth come out if no one else knows about it now in years to come???.
LynnFrost Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 The truth doesn't always come out. Often affairs go undiscovered. 2
NJ123 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 And those people who never admit that they cheated are cowards. 5
Author Trotters Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 How can people live rest of their lives not admitting it?. The guilt must be unbearable?. How can you live a lie to yourself & your spouse?. That for me isn't true love. That cant be a happy, honest, respectful marriage???.
Gloria25 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 If you're pondering doing a "confession", I recommend not burdening your partner with that... If it was a one time thing, you made a mistake, then how is telling them gonna make it better? Now, if you keep on sleeping around and stuff, then I think your partner has the right to know so they can make a decision as to whether or not they wanna be with you knowing you are seeing someone (or many) on the side. Also, so they can protect themselves from a STD. 2
Gloria25 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 How can people live rest of their lives not admitting it?. The guilt must be unbearable?. How can you live a lie to yourself & your spouse?. That for me isn't true love. That cant be a happy, honest, respectful marriage???. Ok, then go and tell him/her. If it's a woman, she you'll pay for it for the rest of your marriage...women NEVER FORGET. 2
Author Trotters Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 Not me, someone I know has cheated 8 times but isn't going to tell their husband. I think she will stop/learnt her lesson...but to live rest of your life knowing what you've done but to not admit it seems like living a lie to yourself. How can you live rest of your life with that always at back of your mind?. It cant be taken back & she'll always know what shes done til she dies. Im not going to tell, im not the revenge type but I just don't know how people can live pretending nothing happened. Its not fair to their spouse, hes living a lie too & has no idea.
central Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 People live with far worse things and it doesn't seem to bother them: rape, murder, child sexual abuse, etc. Cheating on your spouse is reprehensible, but nowhere near as bad as many other things. 1
Gloria25 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Not me, someone I know has cheated 8 times but isn't going to tell their husband. I think she will stop/learnt her lesson...but to live rest of your life knowing what you've done but to not admit it seems like living a lie to yourself. How can you live rest of your life with that always at back of your mind?. It cant be taken back & she'll always know what shes done til she dies. Im not going to tell, im not the revenge type but I just don't know how people can live pretending nothing happened. Its not fair to their spouse, hes living a lie too & has no idea. Well, no none knows what's happening in their household...Ever hear that saying' 'no one knows what happens behind closed doors'? Don't get in the middle. I have gfs who have bad husbands/bfs/etc. One of them, when she seemed like she was finally smart enough to launch him and they got separated, I made the mistake of telling her from 'day one, he was a loser' (but I didn't tell her that I suspected he was beating her, I mean she literally said the "I fell down the stairs" excuse to cover up what he was doing). Well, guess what? In their time of separation, I saw a side of her that turned me off and then they got back together and I ended the friendship with her. While you don't know what's going on in their home, I suggest you stay out of it. If it bothers you much (i.e. she's cheating and has kids and you're worried about her hurting others), maybe you can tell her that you are not comfortable keeping as friends someone who cheats. Or tell her to stop telling you about it.
NJ123 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Not me, someone I know has cheated 8 times but isn't going to tell their husband. I think she will stop/learnt her lesson...but to live rest of your life knowing what you've done but to not admit it seems like living a lie to yourself. How can you live rest of your life with that always at back of your mind?. It cant be taken back & she'll always know what shes done til she dies. Im not going to tell, im not the revenge type but I just don't know how people can live pretending nothing happened. Its not fair to their spouse, hes living a lie too & has no idea. You should do it anonymously. Send an email or something to the husband letting him know that you know his wife cheated. Than he'll get it out of her to confess. If you have specific details, write it in the email. This guy deserves to know his wife is a cheating whore. I'd personally want to know so I can move on & get a divorce instead of being with a huge cheater.
Author Trotters Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 You should do it anonymously. Send an email or something to the husband letting him know that you know his wife cheated. Than he'll get it out of her to confess. If you have specific details, write it in the email. This guy deserves to know his wife is a cheating whore. I'd personally want to know so I can move on & get a divorce instead of being with a huge cheater. I don't want to be the one to tell him. I want her to hell him. I will stay out of it. It just makes me sick. This wasn't a one off mistake but 8 times. I JUST DONT KNOW HOW PEOPLE can have nerve not to be honest. It will never leave her mind but shes gonna pretend nothing ever happened. I ended my friendship with her because I don't agree. I know people make mistakes but 8 times???. How the hell can she live with that guilt is beyond me.
NJ123 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 I don't want to be the one to tell him. I want her to hell him. I will stay out of it. It just makes me sick. This wasn't a one off mistake but 8 times. I JUST DONT KNOW HOW PEOPLE can have nerve not to be honest. It will never leave her mind but shes gonna pretend nothing ever happened. I ended my friendship with her because I don't agree. I know people make mistakes but 8 times???. How the hell can she live with that guilt is beyond me. But you have the opportunity to let this guy move on & find someone who actually cares about him. Unless there's details you left out, it seems this guy has done nothing wrong, & it's all on her. If he cheated too, than that's a whole other story. Has she cheated with 8 different people, or 8 times with the same person? If I was in same situation as you I would tell them anonymously through an email or something. I'd feel guilty knowing some guy is thinking his wife is this amazing person when she really isn't. Do they have kids together? If they do, than that's when I would stay out of it & not say anything. But if they don't I'd tell him before he gets this monster pregnant.
Author Trotters Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 But you have the opportunity to let this guy move on & find someone who actually cares about him. Unless there's details you left out, it seems this guy has done nothing wrong, & it's all on her. If he cheated too, than that's a whole other story. Has she cheated with 8 different people, or 8 times with the same person? If I was in same situation as you I would tell them anonymously through an email or something. I'd feel guilty knowing some guy is thinking his wife is this amazing person when she really isn't. Do they have kids together? If they do, than that's when I would stay out of it & not say anything. But if they don't I'd tell him before he gets this monster pregnant. 8 times with same person & yes 2 kids. One 5 & one 8 years old.
NJ123 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 8 times with same person & yes 2 kids. One 5 & one 8 years old. **** man. Probably stay out of it than. That's really unfortunate. I just hope the husband finds out on his own somehow. By the way, how did you personally find out she cheated?
Author Trotters Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 **** man. Probably stay out of it than. That's really unfortunate. I just hope the husband finds out on his own somehow. By the way, how did you personally find out she cheated? I work with her.
Author Trotters Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 **** man. Probably stay out of it than. That's really unfortunate. I just hope the husband finds out on his own somehow. By the way, how did you personally find out she cheated? That's, what I mean. To not come clean & to carry on like everythings ok is just beyond me. Even if she does stop from now on shes still done it.
NJ123 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 I work with her. Damn. Well how did you specifically find out though? Did this guy show up to your workplace & they were making out or something?
pteromom Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 How can people live rest of their lives not admitting it?. The guilt must be unbearable?. How can you live a lie to yourself & your spouse?. That for me isn't true love. That cant be a happy, honest, respectful marriage???. You are extrapolating how YOU would feel. The fact is that there are some cheaters who don't feel guilt. Since this woman has had EIGHT affairs, she is probably one of them. People like this feel powerful by cheating. Like they are pulling one over on their spouse, and are playing their spouse and affair partners. They are master manipulators and they ENJOY it. They also aren't usually capable of true love. They don't want to feel vulnerable, and you have to be vulnerable to have true intimacy. I would consider anonymously letting her husband know somehow. I would sure want to know if that was my husband!
Author Trotters Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 Damn. Well how did you specifically find out though? Did this guy show up to your workplace & they were making out or something? She told me. She said she isn't happy even though he wants sex 3 or 4 times a day, worships her & compliments her daily, she still loves him but isn't in love with him anymore but wants to make her marriage work. Is that true love?. Make her marriage work but not tell her husband???. Its none of my business but to me not telling him is replacing 1 lie(cheating) with another lie(not being honest). Just my opinion I know its easy for me to say. But still somethings not right there even if she doesn't cheat ever again.
NJ123 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 She told me. She said she isn't happy even though he wants sex 3 or 4 times a day, worships her & compliments her daily, she still loves him but isn't in love with him anymore but wants to make her marriage work. Is that true love?. Make her marriage work but not tell her husband???. Its none of my business but to me not telling him is replacing 1 lie(cheating) with another lie(not being honest). Just my opinion I know its easy for me to say. But still somethings not right there even if she doesn't cheat ever again. Well she's a huge coward for telling others that aren't her husband that she's cheating. If that were me I'd say something like "if you don't tell him, I will since he deserves to know." That'll probably get her all worried, and will maybe get her to confess herself.
Author Trotters Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 Well she's a huge coward for telling others that aren't her husband that she's cheating. If that were me I'd say something like "if you don't tell him, I will since he deserves to know." That'll probably get her all worried, and will maybe get her to confess herself. Im tempted. Ive been dragged into it & wish I wasn't now. Im gonna keep my distance from her. Let her do whatever shes gotta do.
NJ123 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Im tempted. Ive been dragged into it & wish I wasn't now. Im gonna keep my distance from her. Let her do whatever shes gotta do. You should seriously consider saying that to her though. I'd be like you told me but not your husband & he deserves to know, so if you don't confess to him, I will. 1
Author Trotters Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 You should seriously consider saying that to her though. I'd be like you told me but not your husband & he deserves to know, so if you don't confess to him, I will. I'll give it a week or so. Thanks for your thoughts. I guess theres not much else to say now?.
NJ123 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 I'll give it a week or so. Thanks for your thoughts. I guess theres not much else to say now?. The thing I'm questioning is why she would specifically tell you that she cheated? I don't want to question you or anything, but that seems really strange to me.
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