Chasin Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 (edited) So recently my girlfriend left to do her internship for 2 months. I know everyone is going to say "oh my gosh, that's not a long time!" And it really isn't... She went away previously for 2 weeks, it was kinda hard, but she was always calling me, texting when she could, face timing when she could (puppy love stage I think it was). Now this time around (4 months later), her affection has gone down a lot. Granted she says shes busy, I understand. She tells me shes having so much fun and what not. I'm super happy for her and glad she's finally doing her internship.. but.. She's also a bad texter, always has been. She says she loves me, but texts me here and there, hasn't face timed me once, we've talked I think twice on the phone. I continuously do the conversation, asking questions. After I've run out of questions, it just goes to "Yup", which is very typical with us. But sucks because I wish she would return the favor and put in as much effort when she can. Another thing that kind of bugs me, it used to be "Good morning babe/baby/love bug/etc..)" Now it's just a simple Goodmorning. On another note, she does tell me she misses me here and there, told me to stop worrying. She said she's just busy and then really tired. I believe her, but my stomach, a really bad feeling, tells me she's just losing interest and pulling away. I understand she's busy, again.. But idk, something just feels weird. Am I just being dramatic towards myself, or is it possible you guys think she's losing interest by being up there and what not? Some other info: We've been together for almost 8 months, dating officially for 6 months today. We're pretty serious with eachother for as short as it's been. I talk to her about it and I do feel "needy" and "clingy" and like I'm asking for too much. So after the first night I kinda laid it out, I've tried really hard to lay back. Also, she'll read my text and not respond for hours (busy teaching or what not) and so yesterday I did the same and got the "I miss you" text and "Hope you're having a good day<3" text. Please help.. I'm losing sleep, tossing and turning over it. My stomach won't settle down, it truly sucks. Edited October 15, 2014 by Chasin Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 How long ago exactly did she leave? If it has been less than a week, eh, I'd say give it some time. The first week or so of adjustment is always the hardest, especially if she needed to relocate. If this persists for more than a couple of weeks, I think a frank conversation with her is in order. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 @OP....according to your own words, you two have been officially dating for 6 months. She has been away before, and now she is away doing something that might potentially be of benefit to you both. I personally don't think she is living it up all night, and her comments of "am having a balst" should not be misinterpreted as such. It probably just means she is liking what she is doing at the company, learning things pertaining to her study, and that the people are helpful???? I'll urge you to find yourself a hobby/interest to occupy your mind as well, otherwise you are bound to hurt yourself more, considering you are already having bad sleeps. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chasin Posted October 15, 2014 Author Share Posted October 15, 2014 She was away before for 2 weeks, now this is 2 months. I most likely won't be able to visit due to her living at the property - busy everyday with Sunday partially off. No I don't mean having a blast by going out at night, it's what she truly loves and she's having fun being up there and doing it. She's been gone 4 days, seems like nothing and I'm definitely being dramatic about it. I think it comes down to dreading the 8 weeks and my fear of her potentially losing interest in me and ending it. Edit: Thank you for the quick responses. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chasin Posted October 15, 2014 Author Share Posted October 15, 2014 How would I keep the attraction and fire going while we can only text and sometimes call and face time? I've never done a long distance relationship, so this is all so new to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 How would I keep the attraction and fire going while we can only text and sometimes call and face time? I've never done a long distance relationship, so this is all so new to me. Well, that's where a mental connection and compatibility comes in, as that is all you really have in a LDR (along with the promise of the future). For some of us attraction and intimacy functions in many ways that don't require the person to be physically there. Of course this isn't as good or easy as 'the whole package', but it's definitely doable for a few months. A great conversation, a quick text to show you're thinking of her, a card, a gift in the mail - all of those help keep the spark alive in the meantime. I'll be honest, I think some Rs just aren't suited to distance, if they are more focused on the physical aspect. They tend to drift very quickly once there is physical distance. Nothing wrong if that is the case. We live and learn. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 You can't measure the strength of your relationship based on a text. My husband is going away for a month starting next week. I'm already dreading it because I will miss him. I have plenty to keep me busy & will get to see him while he's gone but it's not the same so I get your dislike of the two months. To stay connected use all of the tools available to you: text, e-mail, social media, face time / Skype and snail mail. Ask her to send you actual post cards from where she is. You send her some from your home town. think about how much fun it will be to reunite. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chasin Posted October 19, 2014 Author Share Posted October 19, 2014 So I don't like how things are going and need some advice. She shows little to no affection towards me. Yesterday I texted her "it's beautiful out her at home. Wish I could to a trail ride with my baby!" (She rides and trains horses). She sends back "Oh haha". So I reply "Gosh you hate me" and she replied "No I dont!". Of course as this text was going on she was working a horse so I didn't expect anything crazy. But "Oh haha"?!?! It's been 1 week since yesterday and the first 2 nights as was affectionate and it kinda just slowly decreased. Again, she's very busy up there, living her dream, and I'm happy about that. But affection takes 2 seconds.. A simple "I'm thinking about you" text would be fine. I'd talk to her about it, but all Id get is "Babe, I'm just really busy and focused". Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 You are not a priority for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chasin Posted October 19, 2014 Author Share Posted October 19, 2014 You are not a priority for her. That makes sense, 100% since she is doing her thing. Just sucks I guess. Not used to it is all. Link to post Share on other sites
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