d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Is there a time frame you should give people on how you feel about them before breaking it off? For example... I've been talking to this girl since mid July. Weve been dating for almost as long and been an OFFICIAL couple since Aug 25. Shes beautiful, sexy all that jazz. Shes told me she loves me almost right from the start, and I told her I wasn't ready for that yet. We agreed not to rush things and I told her I wouldn't say those words until I was certain I did because I wouldn't want to lie to her and hurt her feelings. Its been almost 2 months, and I still don't have those feelings. I'm thinking about breaking it off b/c I don't want to waste her time but I'm not sure if thats enough time to give people a chance. I like her, and her kids and mine get a long great. I jsut dont have that feeling like I had in the past. I know what love feels like, and I don't have it but has it been long enough? is there a such thing as too little time? Maybe her telling me so early put too much pressure on me, I don't know. My last relationship, was 5.5 years, engaged, she cheated and left me in february of this year. I had those feelings with that girl almost instantly. This one, I don't in the slightest. Thoughts?
Redhead14 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 It is a process, not an event. How long it takes for love to develop is different for each person or pair. Only you can decide how long you want to wait for those feelings to develop on your part or to wait for the other. Sometimes a couple is on the same page, but one is a couple of paragraphs ahead or behind. If they are chapters ahead or behind, you may not want to wait or speed up to catch up.
d0nnivain Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 After 2 months & especially since she is the rebound after your engagement, I do not think you are going to fall in love with her. I don't think you are ready yet. Let her go.
Author d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 Right. That makes sense and I agree. I just don't really have any of those feelings at all. I don't miss her when shes gone, I don't hope she texts me when shes not busy. Its just not there at all. Thats why I said, its been 2 mons, is that a problem? or should I give it more time. I personally, as a male, would want my woman to tell me these things and break it off b/c it would be wasting my time and hers, but thats just me.
GettingOver Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 I'd say it is a lottery - feelings may come later, and may not come at all. For me they are there either right away or developing quickly, or they just do not develop...
Redhead14 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 It is a process, not an event. How long it takes for love to develop is different for each person or pair. Only you can decide how long you want to wait for those feelings to develop on your part or to wait for the other. Sometimes a couple is on the same page, but one is a couple of paragraphs ahead or behind. If they are chapters ahead or behind, you may not want to wait or speed up to catch up. Usually, if you're not enjoying the book, you're not reading it very quickly or with much enthusiasm so why continue to read it.
Author d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 (edited) After 2 months & especially since she is the rebound after your engagement, I do not think you are going to fall in love with her. I don't think you are ready yet. Let her go. Possible to have a rebound 6-8 months later? I've never been in this situation so I wouldnt know. I've only had 2 legit serious relationships and each was 5 years or more. I did date another girl from like april to june. So wouldn't that have been the rebound? Edited October 15, 2014 by d3sigN8t3dDruNk
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Right. That makes sense and I agree. I just don't really have any of those feelings at all. I don't miss her when shes gone, I don't hope she texts me when shes not busy. Its just not there at all. Thats why I said, its been 2 mons, is that a problem? or should I give it more time. I personally, as a male, would want my woman to tell me these things and break it off b/c it would be wasting my time and hers, but thats just me. I think this is a HUGE indicator of how you feel. Even if you don't love her, the fact that you feel, or well don't feel these things, is a major red flag. These are basic emotions for someone you are dating especially after only 2 months.
Author d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 I think this is a HUGE indicator of how you feel. Even if you don't love her, the fact that you feel, or well don't feel these things, is a major red flag. These are basic emotions for someone you are dating especially after only 2 months. Thats exactly my point. Seems its best to cut it off, thats why I was asking. In my past I've had those feelings right away, or not at all. Inexperience is all this is b/c ive only really seriously dated 2 women. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 It may not be a classic rebound but since she's the 1st woman you dated after the end of your last relationship, if you aren't feeling it, it probably won't come because you are not yet ready.
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