Proko Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 I met this guy at a party. He wasn't the most attractive man in the world, a little chubby but had a great personality. We talked most of night, then he asked for my number and texted me 10 minutes later asking me to dinner. We seemed to have good chemistry, but the thing is, after 4 dates, he told me he just got out of a long term relationship of five years and he wants to slow. Wouldn't be a problem, but he admitted it was after our first date. That it has been long distance for the last 6 months. He said it wasn't because of me that he ended his relationship. He already wanted too, but after he met me, he couldn't help but want to take me out before it was too late. I don't know how I feel about this. I would feel bad if he did break up with her because of me. Also, I don't really feel lied too, but it seems like he should have waited to ask me out.. would this bother anyone?
Redhead14 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 He is being honest with you, however, he is not being honest with himself. He's likely not ready to move on. You would be a rebound.
ctorres626 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 It could have already been over in his mind and ready to move on. That is good is wants to take it slow and not rushing into things that would make you a rebound. Take it slow, understand that perhaps he could still have wounds or be hurt about what happened.
mercuryshadow Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Honestly, I've seen scenarios like this work out but I'd still be cautious. If they have been together for 5 years, a break up will not likely be clean and may come with a lot of baggage and demons. If you really like this guy, reaffirm that the two of you will take it slow. It is probably best to not emotionally invest until some time has passed and he has fully processed his break up. My ex of 5 years (who was extremely toxic for me) met someone who is now is wife, while we were still together. Even after we did break up and he ran to her, he hadn't fully processed our BU yet...our communication did not cease immediately, and he called me in tears several times. It was a tough habit for the both of us to break but it needed to happen. I met someone within a couple of months, to whom I am now married. Things are not always black and white...just proceed with caution.
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