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Would you date someone with a really bad car?

Gaeta

By Gaeta
in Dating

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RonaldS Established Member

RonaldS

Posted
Posted
The differnce here though is you aren't going to have a relationship or sexual relations with a rusty old car.

 

No, but you could end up having a relationship or sexual relations in a rusty old car.....and that could lead to problems, like catching Ebola.

  • Like 2
NJ123 Established Member

NJ123

Posted
Posted
So it's ok to judge a person by their looks and physical features they possibly can't change but not ok to judge a rusty old car?! Judging a person because of their looks is way worse IMO.

 

Huh? Someone can absolutely change their physical features if they wanted to. Unless they have some sort of severe health issue, what's stopping them from going to the gym a few times a week to try to get into better & healthier shape?

  • Like 1
HappyLove Established Member

HappyLove

Posted
Posted
Huh? Someone can absolutely change their physical features if they wanted to. Unless they have some sort of severe health issue, what's stopping them from going to the gym a few times a week to try to get into better & healthier shape?

 

There are fat people who can't lose the weight for whatever reason. Why should it be ok to judge them but not someone driving a beat up car. By that logic why can't dude get two more jobs and buy a car more presentable?

pteromom Established Member

pteromom

Posted
Posted
Maybe, this guy, when he was 16, learned the meaning of a hard work and taking pride in things that you owned.

 

He doesn't take pride in his car though. He's perfectly ok with a giant crack in his windshield and rust holes.

 

A guy with a beat up crappy looking car is going to have a beat up crappy looking home, and if you stay with him, will infect your stuff with his beat up crappy looking stuff. :D

 

It's not about new car vs. old car, or rich vs. poor... even if you have a $500 car, you can keep it clean and in good shape.

 

I don't know that I would completely write someone off after seeing his car, but it would certainly be noted.

  • Like 2
boilingpoint Established Member

boilingpoint

Posted
Posted
There are fat people who can't lose the weight for whatever reason. Why should it be ok to judge them but not someone driving a beat up car. By that logic why can't dude get two more jobs and buy a car more presentable?

 

It's just human biology. I don't find people who are overweight physically attractive. Nothing I can do about that.

 

However if I don't find someone attractive because they don't have a nice car then I obviously need to work on myself a bit.

  • Like 1
Keenly Established Member

Keenly

Posted
Posted

Jesus Christ. This is why dating in 2014 is terrible. We're judging a mans entire lifestyle based on his car.

 

 

 

His CAR. Not his looks. Not his personality. Not his career. Not his hobbies. Not his family. Not his friends. Not his education...

 

 

His car.....

 

 

 

 

No wonder I don't feel like getting out there.

  • Like 9
HappyLove Established Member

HappyLove

Posted
Posted
It's just human biology. I don't find people who are overweight physically attractive. Nothing I can do about that.

 

However if I don't find someone attractive because they don't have a nice car then I obviously need to work on myself a bit.

 

 

 

Yet a person who isn't a physical specimen could treat you like GOLD and truly love and care for you but its ok to judge them and have certain standards against them? I'd say you would need to work on yourself in this situation as well.

Keenly Established Member

Keenly

Posted
Posted
Yet a person who isn't a physical specimen could treat you like GOLD and truly love and care for you but its ok to judge them and have certain standards against them? I'd say you would need to work on yourself in this situation as well.

 

Nobody should be dating anyone they are not physically attracted to. This is your body's way of telling you which genes are compatible with yours.

sweetjasmine Established Member

sweetjasmine

Posted
Posted
Jesus Christ. This is why dating in 2014 is terrible. We're judging a mans entire lifestyle based on his car.

 

Yes, and I judge my neighbors for having junk all over the yard and I'd judge someone if their lawn was an overgrown jungle and I'd judge someone if they parked on the grass in front of their house instead of the driveway.

 

Welcome to adulthood. How you care for your possessions says something about you. And like with the rusty, loud car with a giant crack across the whole windshield, some of these things someone like me will judge you over may also get you fined because they're in violation of laws or ordinances.

  • Like 1
True Gent Established Member

True Gent

Posted
Posted

I don't get this physical appearance/overweight argument. What has basic physical attraction got to do with someone's chosen method of transport?

  • Like 1
NJ123 Established Member

NJ123

Posted
Posted
Yet a person who isn't a physical specimen could treat you like GOLD and truly love and care for you but its ok to judge them and have certain standards against them? I'd say you would need to work on yourself in this situation as well.

 

Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, physical attraction is probably the most important thing in terms of dating. It's just human nature to want to be with someone your physically attracted to. There's nothing wrong with that at all. Physical attraction comes first even before personality, since if your not attracted to them to begin with it than you won't want to date them.

Keenly Established Member

Keenly

Posted
Posted
Yes, and I judge my neighbors for having junk all over the yard and I'd judge someone if their lawn was an overgrown jungle and I'd judge someone if they parked on the grass in front of their house instead of the driveway.

 

Welcome to adulthood. How you care for your possessions says something about you. And like with the rusty, loud car with a giant crack across the whole windshield, some of these things someone like me will judge you over may also get you fined because they're in violation of laws or ordinances.

 

So your best answer is " just because " ?

 

Good to know. Its nice to see that we date posessions and not people.

  • Like 1
mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

Posted
Posted
He doesn't take pride in his car though. He's perfectly ok with a giant crack in his windshield and rust holes.

 

A guy with a beat up crappy looking car is going to have a beat up crappy looking home, and if you stay with him, will infect your stuff with his beat up crappy looking stuff. :D

 

It's not about new car vs. old car, or rich vs. poor... even if you have a $500 car, you can keep it clean and in good shape.

 

I don't know that I would completely write someone off after seeing his car, but it would certainly be noted.

 

There you go. One of two things is true. This is the best he can do, or this is the best that he cares to do.

 

It's like going out with people who smoke. You can't help but get it all over you.

  • Like 2
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Established Member

chimpanA-2-chimpanZ

Posted
Posted

I cannot imagine ever possibly caring about the kind of car a man drives, except for maybe what my parents would think when they first saw it. But I don't think Gaeta is completely crazy, either. I wouldn't date a total slob with a disgusting apartment.

 

The car by itself means nothing. Until you get to know him better, you have no idea if he just doesn't care about his car (which is fine), has serious financial issues (that's bad) or lives in a rusty, filth-ridden hovel (that's very bad).

  • Like 3
sweetjasmine Established Member

sweetjasmine

Posted
Posted
So your best answer is " just because " ?

 

Good to know. Its nice to see that we date posessions and not people.

 

No, it's not "just because." I'll say it again real slow for you: how people take care of their possessions says something about them.

 

Yes, we date people, and not possessions, but the type of people I happen to like are the ones who care about taking care of their things. To me, someone who drives a run down rusty hunk of crap car with damage that would get them ticketed for safety violations is the equivalent of someone who leaves random crap on their front lawn, duct tapes the faucet together instead of saving up to replace it, and fixes holes in their clothes with staples.

  • Like 1
Snaggletooth Established Member

Snaggletooth

Posted
Posted
Jesus Christ. This is why dating in 2014 is terrible. We're judging a mans entire lifestyle based on his car.

 

 

 

His CAR. Not his looks. Not his personality. Not his career. Not his hobbies. Not his family. Not his friends. Not his education...

 

 

His car.....

 

 

 

 

No wonder I don't feel like getting out there.

 

Go further. Not his honesty, integrity, honour, care, charity, will, ethics, morals, sacrifice... his car.

 

I use what a woman judges me upon as a filter for any romantic interest. If you want a woman who's got your back through thick and thin, and for better or worse, then your car and all other material possessions must have jack sh*t to do with it.

 

Works both ways too.

  • Like 3
dynamicboy Member

dynamicboy

Posted
Posted (edited)

The idea that because his car is crap and rusty then everything else in his life(such as his home, his job, his clothes, his personal hygiene, his finances etc) is gonna be necessarily rotten or broken is nonsense

 

That's the problem when judging an entire life on one single feature that is, after all, external to the man in question.

 

While a crappy rusty car might certainly mean being careless, irresponsible, dirty or lacking in common sense, it may also mean someone who has better and more interesting things to think and/or worry about than his car.

 

Not because he has a junk car does it absolutely mean his entire life is full of junk; nor that his personal finances are broken.

 

One must not jump into fast conclusions.

 

Dating takes time

 

Knowing a potential mate takes time and takes patience and tolerance

 

But we are so used to quickly discard whatever doesn't seem to fit with us that God knows how many great people have we dumped before we truly get to know them and appreciate them better

 

One thing is for sure, there is nobody in the entire planet that will completely fit with us.

Edited by dynamicboy
  • Like 2
me85 Established Member

me85

Posted
Posted (edited)

Now, I'm no saint. I have made judgement calls on a date being late or them not opening doors for me. Oh and guys : don't dress so casually for a first date when you know you're meeting us at a nice place. I've had a guy show up to a fairly nice restaurant to meet me for the first time and he was dressed in sneakers, and a plain ole t shirt. Great guy, dated him for a month, but come on! But a person can be guided in the right direction. You can "show them the way." So to speak. As in, "Ok that's sort of a turnoff but not really a dealbreaker. We have things in common, he made me laugh, he's smart...I can continue dating this guy and reach the point of being open enough to tell him this or that is bothersome to me. In a polite way."

 

Too often people are too focused on the external. We should all practice more by focusing on the internal instead. But some things, I mean, like sneakers and a plain t shirt, not opening doors for me-especially on a first date...come on! LOL Those are things that you really can help. For sure. You may not be able to afford a nicer car but every guy on the planet has at least one button down and one pair of nice shoes in their closet.

 

This is the type of person I am : Let's say I drove a nice newer vehicle and not the 1998 model I actually drive IRL and I meet a man for dinner at a restaurant and saw that rolled up in something like the beverly hillbillies wagon. <O K. This date is going to be interesting.> I'd see how the date went. See if I wanted to hang out with the guy again or not...let's say the date went well and I did want to see him again. Ok, so now we're dating. After a few dates if I felt like, <You know what? I don't want to ride in that clunker of his that may very well break down on us then I have to walk a mile or more in high heels so I'll just tell John Doe that I'll pick him up on this next date.> I'd get to a point (after knowing him better and spending enough time with him) where I'd sweetly mess with him in a playful manner about how his car looks like it was the first one ever made and that I'd love to help him find a safer one if he'd allow me too. I would let him know "Hey, I saw this car for sale on craigslist...you like??"

 

You get to a point where you care about someone and want to help them. That's what human connection is all about. Or it should be anyway. The fortunate should help the less fortunate but not give them piggy back rides everywhere all the time. Only help those who want to help themselves. 7 times out of 10 some of the best people are the less fortunate ones.

Edited by me85
  • Like 6
singsparkles Established Member

singsparkles

Posted
Posted

I don't think dating someone with a beat up car would be a dealbreaker... but at the same time, I would need to know they have goals in life to maybe be in a better place in life, I guess you could say. I would definitely try to be his cheerleader in a way by helping him to do something better with himself.

  • Like 2
ComingInHot Established Member

ComingInHot

Posted
Posted

Mackinac Bridge Accident in 1989

 

Go further. Not his honesty, integrity, honour, care, charity, will, ethics, morals, sacrifice... his . If you want a woman who's got your back through thick and thin, and for better or worse, then your car and all other material possessions must have jack sh*t to do with it.

 

Works both ways too.

 

 

I sure hope no girl judges dating a boy based on a crap car, otherwise when my son gets his lisence and inherits the ole jeep, he'll never get a date!!! :eek:

 

I figure as long as you can pick up and drop off (safely) your date, then it doesn't matter if the car is a gremlin or a patchworked metal framed yugo... so long as we're not crossing the Mackinac Bridge:

  • Like 1
WhatIsLove2014 Established Member

WhatIsLove2014

Posted
Posted
The idea that because his car is crap and rusty then everything else in his life(such as his home, his job, his clothes, his personal hygiene, his finances etc) is gonna be necessarily rotten or broken is nonsense

 

That's the problem when judging an entire life on one single feature that is, after all, external to the man in question.

 

Exactly!! You can not...no way in hell...assume a man who drives a crappy looking car is broke. No freaking way! He's the nicest, funniest, most respectful, handsome man you ever met in your life yet he drives a crappy car so it's a no go? Really? You wouldn't hang around to find out why...nothing? Just end it right there? That's bull and that's horrible.

me85 Established Member

me85

Posted
Posted
I don't think dating someone with a beat up car would be a dealbreaker... but at the same time, I would need to know they have goals in life to maybe be in a better place in life, I guess you could say. I would definitely try to be his cheerleader in a way by helping him to do something better with himself.

 

I believe the majority of people who are less fortunate than others do want better for themselves and are really trying to make a better life for themselves but their circumstances are different. They probably don't have many connections. They're probably smart, have a degree and are consistently looking for a better paying job but aren't finding anyone hiring. They may have more obsticles...?

 

One never knows about someone unless they take the time to get to know them. Get to know them better first, then judge all you want! I guess. LOL

 

The OP said they didn't really hit it off anyway so that's that. I only hope that her knowing he drove a POS didn't turned her off right away before she even sat down to interact with the poor guy. You know, having preconceived notions about him and whatnot.

 

It doesn't make her a God awful person. It just means she notices material things FIRST. A lot of people do this. It's a drag. But what isn't when it comes to dating ??? Kidding. Sort of. lol

  • Like 1
Diezel Established Member

Diezel

Posted
Posted

This guy could have lost his job in 2008, was homeless and slowly built up his life back up and is progressing... but he's 49, has a beat up car, and rents an apartment.

 

Gaeta, I like you, but you are coming across as ridiculously shallow lately.

 

From the beat up car, to the guy renting a studio apartment... what are you judging men on? How "accomplished" they might be in your eyes?

  • Like 2
Snaggletooth Established Member

Snaggletooth

Posted
Posted
Now, I'm no saint. I have made judgement calls on a date being late or them not opening doors for me. Oh and guys : don't dress so casually for a first date when you know you're meeting us at a nice place. I've had a guy show up to a fairly nice restaurant to meet me for the first time and he was dressed in sneakers, and a plain ole t shirt. Great guy, dated him for a month, but come on! But a person can be guided in the right direction. You can "show them the way." So to speak. As in, "Ok that's sort of a turnoff but not really a dealbreaker. We have things in common, he made me laugh, he's smart...I can continue dating this guy and reach the point of being open enough to tell him this or that is bothersome to me. In a polite way."

 

Too often people are too focused on the external. We should all practice more by focusing on the internal instead. But some things, I mean, like sneakers and a plain t shirt, not opening doors for me-especially on a first date...come on! LOL Those are things that you really can help. For sure. You may not be able to afford a nicer car but every guy on the planet has at least one button down and one pair of nice shoes in their closet.

 

This is the type of person I am : Let's say I drove a nice newer vehicle and not the 1998 model I actually drive IRL and I meet a man for dinner at a restaurant and saw that rolled up in something like the beverly hillbillies wagon. <O K. This date is going to be interesting.> I'd see how the date went. See if I wanted to hang out with the guy again or not...let's say the date went well and I did want to see him again. Ok, so now we're dating. After a few dates if I felt like, <You know what? I don't want to ride in that clunker of his that may very well break down on us then I have to walk a mile or more in high heels so I'll just tell John Doe that I'll pick him up on this next date.> I'd get to a point (after knowing him better and spending enough time with him) where I'd sweetly mess with him in a playful manner about how his car looks like it was the first one ever made and that I'd love to help him find a safer one if he'd allow me too. I would let him know "Hey, I saw this car for sale on craigslist...you like??"

 

You get to a point where you care about someone and want to help them. That's what human connection is all about. Or it should be anyway. The fortunate should help the less fortunate but not give them piggy back rides everywhere all the time. Only help those who want to help themselves. 7 times out of 10 some of the best people are the less fortunate ones.

 

So a pair of wellies, few weeks of beard, uncombed hair and chewing a piece of straw would be a no no on a first date? Must be where I went wrong. :D

 

Woman, were my wheels to break down I'd carry you a mile home, hell, I'd carry you ten miles home, but if you tried to get me to change those wheels, boots or beard. I'd buy you a chamois leather and tin of boot polish for Xmas and tell you to get your arse busy, no matter how sweet you may be.

pteromom Established Member

pteromom

Posted
Posted
You get to a point where you care about someone and want to help them. That's what human connection is all about. Or it should be anyway. The fortunate should help the less fortunate but not give them piggy back rides everywhere all the time. Only help those who want to help themselves. 7 times out of 10 some of the best people are the less fortunate ones.

 

Yes, it is great to help the less fortunate, but it is not wrong to not want to date them. Having an equal partner is pretty important.

 

But again, for me, the car would be noted, and I would see if the rest of his life was messy and broken too, and what his reasons are for the gross car.

  • Like 1
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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