jpt1912 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 (edited) Hi all, It will be great if some of you give me feedback with her comment below. Thank you! "Thankyou. That's really flattering. But I just want to be friends right now. Sorry.I'm just not looking for a relationship at the moment. I don't want to hurt your feelings but I did say many times I just want to be friends. I hopeyou understand and you're ok with this. You're a great guy ;-)" James Edited October 15, 2014 by jpt1912
Themanwithaplan Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 It's very clear she's not interested and it sounds like she's told you she just wants to be friends previous to this. Pushing more will likely make her more uncomfortable and results will not be favorable. 2
CoolCat771 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Hi all, It will be great if some of you give me feedback with her comment below. Thank you! "Thankyou. That's really flattering. But I just want to be friends right now. Sorry.I'm just not looking for a relationship at the moment. I don't want to hurt your feelings but I did say many times I just want to be friends. I hopeyou understand and you're ok with this. You're a great guy ;-)" James She let you down easy dude
Author jpt1912 Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 This is how I replied back to her. It doesn't mean that you will change how I feel about you. I will make myself ready whenever you are ready for a relationship.
GemmaUK Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 but I did say many times I just want to be friends. This part says it all. She doesn't want to date you. 1
mightycpa Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Two additional words will explain everything: With you. Sorry, but this is an old classic. 2
Toodaloo Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Please don't wait for her. She doesn't want you to, obviously thinks your great but not for her. Go to your man cave do whatever it is men do to lick their wounds and move on. Go and find some one who does want you.
CharlieFox Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 This is how I replied back to her. It doesn't mean that you will change how I feel about you. I will make myself ready whenever you are ready for a relationship. Uhm... Fail. You basically give her your balls with what you said above, and now she sees you as nothing more than a girl friend. She doesn't want anything sexual with you and never will since you gave her your balls. And what she told you is just a classic, textbook rejection. It literally can't be any more stock or non-creative. Translation is: "I am not interested in you, but I don't want to appear rude or feel guilty for rejecting you, but I still don't want anything to do with you". Show her (and yourself) that you still have some balls left and move on.
Author jpt1912 Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 (edited) I really like her a lot as a person and plan on to continue seeing her and hanging out as a friend. Accept that I am not always going to get what I want. We both are Chinese and were born in a same country where we came from. Our parents know each other very well for more than 30 years. Our heritages came from a small group of Chinese from China. That is why I really like her, interest in her life and want to be a part of it. So I still want be her friend! I just want to have her sharing a good time together. We are divorced and our ages are in the 50'. There are not enough time left in our life and enjoy it while we can. Edited October 15, 2014 by jpt1912
Author jpt1912 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 This is what she replied " Sorry for the late reply. I didn't quite know what to say. I want to be friends but with the thought that nothing will happen between us That is not the goal of the friendship. I am willing to be friends of you can accept this. Thanks". Should I let her go?
JuneJulySeptember Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 (edited) Hi all, It will be great if some of you give me feedback with her comment below. Thank you! "Thankyou. That's really flattering. But I just want to be friends right now. Sorry.I'm just not looking for a relationship at the moment. I don't want to hurt your feelings but I did say many times I just want to be friends. I hopeyou understand and you're ok with this. You're a great guy ;-)" James Translation: I'm not attracted to you, but if through a miracle of modern medicine, you become what I am physically attracted to, then hit me up. This is what she replied " Sorry for the late reply. I didn't quite know what to say. I want to be friends but with the thought that nothing will happen between us That is not the goal of the friendship. I am willing to be friends of you can accept this. Thanks". Should I let her go? Every week, a man here writes something like this about how he has fallen for a woman who doesn't reciprocate. And every week, when I catch it, I feel it is up to me to SLAP YOU IN THE FACE! You need to completely change your perspective and approach. Do not invest in women who have no attraction to you. If you think you might be attracted to a woman, ask her out, get your answer and squash it. You have to learn how to play the game, James. The earlier the better. The name of the game is hit and run, and to keep your options as open as possible until you find a woman who 'might' reciprocate your feelings. The minute you think she is not interested, goodbye. We make the game of romance, at least in the beginning stages so much sappier and complicated than it is. It really is just a matter of physical attraction and/or a woman willing to give a guy a chance. Edited November 5, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember
Tayken Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 The name of the game is hit and run, and to keep your options as open as possible until you find a woman who 'might' reciprocate your feelings. Wow....Talk about being blunt. Am expecting the usual suspects to jump down your throat for this.
LisaSmith_1970 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Why do girls have to use that line, "I'm not looking for a relationship at the MOMENT." Geez..can't she say, "I'm not interested, leave me alone." Its annoys me that some people try to sugar coat it.
Tayken Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 @OP....change the "He" in the link to "She" https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/822184-he-s-just-not-that-into-you-the-no-excuses-truth-to-understanding-guys
snowflakes88 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 This is what she replied " Sorry for the late reply. I didn't quite know what to say. I want to be friends but with the thought that nothing will happen between us That is not the goal of the friendship. I am willing to be friends of you can accept this. Thanks". Should I let her go? Yes. She could not possibly be more clear that she isn't interested.
JuneJulySeptember Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Wow....Talk about being blunt. Am expecting the usual suspects to jump down your throat for this. Not hit and run in terms of sleeping with women. The guys who are able to do that are not posting about falling in love with women who only want them as friends. Hit and run in terms of getting your rejection, and moving on cleanly. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Trust me OP, as a woman, she will NEVER want to date you if she doesn't already. No amount of hanging on or waiting for her to change her mind will work. She doesn't like you romantically. There's nothing wrong with you, you're probably just not compatible. If you persist with the 'but I love you!' stuff, she probably won't even want to be your friend. She might even just be willing to be friends right now to stop awkwardness amongst your families if you have such a long history with parents etc. Don't make it worse than it already is.
Lani Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Yeh dude, leave her alone. If you can't be friends with her and put your feelings aside, then you need to just let her go. It's awkward. Don't make it even moreso.
Mrin Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Wow. Couldn't be more clear. If you must reply send something to save your dignity like "ok that works. Friends it is!" and then never contact her again.
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