Sweetescape910 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 I've been battling depression for 3 years now. It kind of comes in waves. For now, my depression is back because I'm lonely. I'm a fun, cute girl and I cant seem to find a guy that will be emotionally available for me. I keep attracting unavailable guys who keep dumping me because they're not ready for a commitment. I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone when I know it's not me, it's just this generation. I have no real "girlfriends" who I can go and hang out with. And after this breakup I'm going through, I feel even worse. This guy who I thought was going to be my man ended things with me because he's battling a depression right now. He ended things with me a month ago, and talked to me a few times since. When he broke up with me, he said he could be with me in the future with the right mind and he's not writing us off. I cling onto this false hope whenever he texts me, but I know it's just breadcrumbs. Then when he doesn't text me, I feel like crap. I feel like I'm not worthy of anyone. I'm trying to move on from this guy who I really like, but I don't want to move on to the next guy because I want to be happy on MY OWN. I just don't know how to love myself. Can anyone help me on this situation without saying things like: move on? If I knew how to stop caring, I would. 2
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 You need to drop your attachment with him. Two depressed peeps make each other sick with yoyo closeness/distant tendencies. You need to move on. Being alone will make most lonely, so find something of interest that allows interaction with peeps. Allow yourself to be seen, instead of clinging to depression. Even if you need to take walks, doing something will eventually open up doors for you to feel more confident in doing more. It will take some time, but with each day you will find moving on can be done. Never believe you are not good enough. If you do, nobody will ever see you are. Believe me, I had done that to myself for years on end until I became 30. Believe in yourself, and you will find the the obstacles you had been tripping over are the debris of your negative thoughts.
xUnknown Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 I've been battling depression for 3 years now. It kind of comes in waves. For now, my depression is back because I'm lonely. I'm a fun, cute girl and I cant seem to find a guy that will be emotionally available for me. I keep attracting unavailable guys who keep dumping me because they're not ready for a commitment. I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone when I know it's not me, it's just this generation. I have no real "girlfriends" who I can go and hang out with. And after this breakup I'm going through, I feel even worse. This guy who I thought was going to be my man ended things with me because he's battling a depression right now. He ended things with me a month ago, and talked to me a few times since. When he broke up with me, he said he could be with me in the future with the right mind and he's not writing us off. I cling onto this false hope whenever he texts me, but I know it's just breadcrumbs. Then when he doesn't text me, I feel like crap. I feel like I'm not worthy of anyone. I'm trying to move on from this guy who I really like, but I don't want to move on to the next guy because I want to be happy on MY OWN. I just don't know how to love myself. Can anyone help me on this situation without saying things like: move on? If I knew how to stop caring, I would. I'm sort of going through the same thing, except with my ex girlfriend. She is confused about a ton of stuff. I'm sure she is somewhat depressed as well (stemming from her self esteem and feeling like she needs to loose weight--when she clearly doesn't). She just isn't happy with herself. I was essentially "forced" to pull the string on things, and I hated it because I never ever wanted to. But I had no choice. Last week was rough. This week has been 10x's better. What has helped me is knowing that if she isn't happy with herself, she can't be happy with me. She can to a certain extent, but I will never be able to make her fully happy, thus, she becomes dependent on me and I am therefore forever fighting a losing battle. If he wanted to work on things with you, he would have. Really take time to let all that soak in. People can tell you it all they want (as they did for me). But tell yourself it. You'll start to believe it and things will get easier. If you'd like more background from my situation: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/496531-well-i-m-back 1
singsparkles Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I've been battling depression for 3 years now. It kind of comes in waves. For now, my depression is back because I'm lonely. I'm a fun, cute girl and I cant seem to find a guy that will be emotionally available for me. I keep attracting unavailable guys who keep dumping me because they're not ready for a commitment. I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone when I know it's not me, it's just this generation. I have no real "girlfriends" who I can go and hang out with. And after this breakup I'm going through, I feel even worse. This guy who I thought was going to be my man ended things with me because he's battling a depression right now. He ended things with me a month ago, and talked to me a few times since. When he broke up with me, he said he could be with me in the future with the right mind and he's not writing us off. I cling onto this false hope whenever he texts me, but I know it's just breadcrumbs. Then when he doesn't text me, I feel like crap. I feel like I'm not worthy of anyone. I'm trying to move on from this guy who I really like, but I don't want to move on to the next guy because I want to be happy on MY OWN. I just don't know how to love myself. Can anyone help me on this situation without saying things like: move on? If I knew how to stop caring, I would. Sweetescape, You ARE me. You're not alone. I'm going through the same thing. I've never been single. I jump from relationship to relationship. I constantly choose men who are unavailable and then get broken hearted when they finally start treating me like crap, when in reality, I should have known it would end like that from the beginning. I also have no girlfriends. It's hard. You can't go out. You can't vent. I know how it feels. Loneliness hurts. But believe it or not, I self pitied all through July and August and I was a wreck. I didn't even get out of bed. But I woke up one morning and said to myself, "I really don't want to live my life like this...miserable and sulking" Even if I dont have everything I want right now, there are ALWAYS things to be happy about or to be positive about. I started spending a lot of time with my family, and babysitting my 1 1/2 yr old niece always brightens my day because you can't be unhappy just by seeing her smile. Do things productive; go to the gym , go hiking, experience nature. Go shopping,even if it's alone, it's therapeutic. Take a long drive somewhere. Get a nice coffee. Take bubble baths and have a glass of wine. Get into a new TV show or movie on Netflix or elsewhere. Keep your mind occupied. Trust me, I hate being single most of the time. But for once in my life, I am finding comfort in it... I love being able to just focus on myself for once in my life. I know that if I just focus on me, the next guy who rolls around will be perfect because I will attract the right guys. Don't put pressure on yourself for not having girlfriends. I did that for yrs. Some people aren't meant to have a lot of friends. You will probably meet an amazing man one day, get married, and his friends and their wives/girlfriends will be your friends. Every relationship Ive been in, I've always made friends with his friend's girlfriends. Don't stress so much... everything will be alright and everything will get better. Your WHOLE life is not NOW. You have a whole life still waiting to be lived. Give it time and patience... everything will come to you. I PROMISE. In the meantime, just be selfish and focus on you. It's odd; I know selfish can be a bad word. But sometimes being selfish for yourself can be humbling in the right moments. I think you need a little selfishness right now. Everything will fall into place. Hugs xx 2
singsparkles Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 And PS I also battle with depression and I was diagnosed with bi polar disorder... Your depression does not "MAKE" you... People who are depressed and have disorders live normal lives and have families and get married and have beautiful kids. My great grandmother was bi polar and depressed and was on TONS of meds for it...and guess what? NO ONE KNEW ABOUT IT UNTIL SHE DIED. ...because she lived a life full of family and love. She had 6 kids and was married for over 50 yrs. You will be okay. Depression doesn't control you. You can control it. Keep your head up... you are no different than a million other human beings in this world. Depression is a thing a lot of people deal with, and a lot of these people dealing with it, you would NEVER know they're dealing with it, because they smile every day and are professional and have great careers. Things will get better. Keep your faith and hope and focus on you! xx 1
Author Sweetescape910 Posted October 22, 2014 Author Posted October 22, 2014 And PS I also battle with depression and I was diagnosed with bi polar disorder... Your depression does not "MAKE" you... People who are depressed and have disorders live normal lives and have families and get married and have beautiful kids. My great grandmother was bi polar and depressed and was on TONS of meds for it...and guess what? NO ONE KNEW ABOUT IT UNTIL SHE DIED. ...because she lived a life full of family and love. She had 6 kids and was married for over 50 yrs. You will be okay. Depression doesn't control you. You can control it. Keep your head up... you are no different than a million other human beings in this world. Depression is a thing a lot of people deal with, and a lot of these people dealing with it, you would NEVER know they're dealing with it, because they smile every day and are professional and have great careers. Things will get better. Keep your faith and hope and focus on you! xx hi! Please email me. [email protected]. I emailed you but you never answered. Xx
David87 Posted October 22, 2014 Posted October 22, 2014 Whatever you decide to do, don't hold onto hope that he might come back and all will be the way it use to be because it wont. Work on your self esteem because at the time is very low, move on and try to forget about this guy... its not worth the trouble. Start NC op..
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