lukemortt Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 ok so she lives like 90 minutes away but goes to school and work 45 minutes away today she was like "you should come have lunch with me" i said " sorry i got to help my uncle re do his kitchen" she said "well i didnt expect you to strongly consider it anyway" then she said "though it would be nice for you to consider at least coming here for lunch when im on break or something" i said "ok im sorry, i know i should" then she said "its just you havent considered coming here since our third date" i said" should i come more often, i will if its better for us" heres the deal from my perspective. i woud not expect her to drive 45 minutes just to have a 30 minute lunch with me. i think its absurd i dont see why she expects it from me. its great she wants to see me but i view it as pointless shes seems to love coming to my town so i dont really understand it. i would honestly rather go to her hometown than the town she works and goes to shcool at (its a bigger city i cant get around in)
todreaminblue Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 (edited) i have travelled far and wide for a guy i care about and if I am in a relationship with them....spending lunch with them would be a pleasure..........and i dont drive......most of the time when i have travelled i feel excited, i have a bit of an adventure normally involves me getting lost and meeting people who point me in the right direction....:0) to me its a no brainer.......if you care ....distance travelled doesnt have bearing....and if you want someone to really know that you do care...you travel....have a picnic lunch that you bring with...in brown paper bags....with juice.......make old school new, fun,fresh, a challenge.........deb Edited October 14, 2014 by todreaminblue
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 This girl doesn't know what she wants. First, seeing you once a week was too much but now, she is whining over you not wanting to drive so far for just a lunch. You need to let her go...she is playing too many games.
Author lukemortt Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 i dont like the town she works in ...its way to big and i get lost
todreaminblue Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 i dont like the town she works in ...its way to big and i get lost getting lost is an experience everyone needs to have .....getting lost is not such a bad thing.....you never quite appreciate a road unless to find that road you get lost along the way.. you dont sound invested to me....not in her anyway...more about what you want and that her objective is to put you first...that could be an issue...maybe you should date someone closer to you who fits in with your desire not to travel........deb
Author lukemortt Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 is it really necessary for me to visit her?
Mister Zen Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Do what you think is right. If she doesn't like it she can leave. And that's pretty much the answer to all relationship problems.
Georgia2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 is it really necessary for me to visit her? Why should she always have to visit you?
preraph Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Jeez, about every other weekend I drive 45 minutes just to have lunch with a friend. Sounds like you're not really interested in her company. 1
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Why should she always have to visit you? But for a 30 min lunch break. I could see if he was spending the weekend or the whole day even. This girl blows hot and cold so much. He needs to just end things. I wouldn't want to visit her either.
Author lukemortt Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 30 mins ot me is just insane!! i would NEVER expect her to drive here just to spend 30 minutes with me
rawrrxlaurr Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Yeah, honestly though, if you really liked her seeing her for even 30 minutes would be worth the drive. And vice versa. My ex would have driven 45 minutes just to come see me and kiss me goodnight. Obviously not every day/night, but every once and a while. You should break it off because you obviously don't really care that much. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 If you were in the same location at lunch time it would be a lovely gesture to eat together. To travel is ridiculous. My husband is 35 miles away from me right now. I have no expectation to eat lunch with him. Some times my job takes me into the town where he works but I rarely know how long I'm going to be. If I am still there around lunch time & don't have to be somewhere at a specific time after lunch I will shoot him a text about having lunch together. For every time we are able to get together, there are probably 5-10 times we don't connect. She's being ridiculous in her demand, especially since you were in the middle of something. 1
TheGuard13 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 45 minutes each way for 30 minutes (probably less) of lunch? Yeah, it'd be nice, and maybe ONCE in a while it would be nice to do that spontaneously (which is probably what she wants, to pretend like this is your idea if you do it), but that's a ridiculous expectation of someone. What if he were to get stuck in traffic? Then he'd miss the lunch entirely.
BlueIris Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 How busy are you? When I'm working, I'm more concerned about time. When I'm on deadline, I'm hyper-protective of my time. But, personally, sure I'd go 45 minutes for a fun 30 minute lunch with my boyfriend if I wasn't crunched for time.
singsparkles Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 ok so she lives like 90 minutes away but goes to school and work 45 minutes away today she was like "you should come have lunch with me" i said " sorry i got to help my uncle re do his kitchen" she said "well i didnt expect you to strongly consider it anyway" then she said "though it would be nice for you to consider at least coming here for lunch when im on break or something" i said "ok im sorry, i know i should" then she said "its just you havent considered coming here since our third date" i said" should i come more often, i will if its better for us" heres the deal from my perspective. i woud not expect her to drive 45 minutes just to have a 30 minute lunch with me. i think its absurd i dont see why she expects it from me. its great she wants to see me but i view it as pointless shes seems to love coming to my town so i dont really understand it. i would honestly rather go to her hometown than the town she works and goes to shcool at (its a bigger city i cant get around in) To me, Being a girl who starts endless amounts of drama has NOTHING to do with what shes starting drama about. Have you ever heard the quote, "you're never really mad about what you think you're mad about"? ... There's always something deeper to madness, especially when it comes to women. I don't think it has anything to do with you not coming for lunch. Maybe she feels shes not getting enough attention from you in otherwise, and she's lashing out at this lunch thing just because she has kept a lot bottled inside. I would suggest you sit her down and talk with her and ask her whats really bothering her. Reassure her that you care about her a lot (if you do) and explain to her that her feelings are important to you and you don't want her to feel that way. (Just a suggestion, you don't have to) But I think it would really break the ice and tension for you to let her know you care. I could be totally wrong; she could just be a demanding jerk. But from my point of view, because I've done this exact behavior before... I was never really mad at what I was saying I was mad about. There was always more to the situation and emotions were always under my skin that I bottled up.
Recommended Posts