hejrjeu Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I have a huge crush on my piano teacher. He's my age, a couple years older I think (I'm 20) and I don't know what to do. I do realize that having a relationship with him would make teaching difficult, especially if things were to get sour, although I'm bound to being his student for only a year. He's a professional piano student and I'm his practice pupil and while I'm nowhere near his level I'm playing such advanced pieces that I can't get a new teacher from just anywhere in case I'd mess this up, and he wouldn't be able to get a new student until next fall so there's a lot at stake at least for him. I found him on tinder so I guess he's single (left-swiped, I already have his number...) Should I try to make something of this, talk to him about random stuff and become his friend and maybe more? Or should I just try to stay professional and not care that he's super hot and just forget about him when the school year is over?
Tayken Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I have a huge crush on my piano teacher. He's my age, a couple years older I think (I'm 20) and I don't know what to do. I do realize that having a relationship with him would make teaching difficult, especially if things were to get sour, although I'm bound to being his student for only a year. He's a professional piano student and I'm his practice pupil and while I'm nowhere near his level I'm playing such advanced pieces that I can't get a new teacher from just anywhere in case I'd mess this up, and he wouldn't be able to get a new student until next fall so there's a lot at stake at least for him. I found him on tinder so I guess he's single (left-swiped, I already have his number...) Should I try to make something of this, talk to him about random stuff and become his friend and maybe more? Or should I just try to stay professional and not care that he's super hot and just forget about him when the school year is over? So it sounds like you are infatuated by him, and seem to be taking it into that obsession zone with all this "am his practice". I am sure he can easily make you his ongoing practice, and trust me there is a lot at stake for him if he decides to go down that rabbit hole with you. Always keep business professional. You are there to learn how to play a certain kind of Ivory (as opposed to the other one). You do not need distraction when it comes to music (even I a science type knows this). Just look at musicians that hook up Are you just trying to bang him, or are you looking to be his gf? Hard to tell since you are only 20 and can't see past the looks right now. I am sure he will have no problem "hitting it", but don't expect much.
Author hejrjeu Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 So it sounds like you are infatuated by him, and seem to be taking it into that obsession zone with all this "am his practice". I am sure he can easily make you his ongoing practice, and trust me there is a lot at stake for him if he decides to go down that rabbit hole with you. Always keep business professional. You are there to learn how to play a certain kind of Ivory (as opposed to the other one). You do not need distraction when it comes to music (even I a science type knows this). Just look at musicians that hook up Are you just trying to bang him, or are you looking to be his gf? Hard to tell since you are only 20 and can't see past the looks right now. I am sure he will have no problem "hitting it", but don't expect much. I'm demisexual and very rarely get crushes on people. I am thinking of him romantically, but the thought of being sexual with him still feels somewhat repulsive. I am not into him just for looks and I would not just try to bang him.
d0nnivain Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 You can try talking to him about non music stuff & see where it goes. Be a bit flirtatious but he has to make the 1st move.
smackie9 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 IMO it's not appropriate to get involved with a teacher or instructor. Wait it out until your segment with him is finishing up. Then you can ask him if he is interested in grabbing a cup of coffee or have lunch sometime.
d0nnivain Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 IMO it's not appropriate to get involved with a teacher or instructor. Wait it out until your segment with him is finishing up. Then you can ask him if he is interested in grabbing a cup of coffee or have lunch sometime. In a school or institutional setting smackie9 is correct. Teachers should not fraternize with students. I thought this was more of a private arrangement for the OPs continued improvement meaning that outside of the teacher's playing superiority, they were more social equals which is what makes it OK.
Author hejrjeu Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 In a school or institutional setting smackie9 is correct. Teachers should not fraternize with students. I thought this was more of a private arrangement for the OPs continued improvement meaning that outside of the teacher's playing superiority, they were more social equals which is what makes it OK. He is studying music, to become a pianist and/or piano teacher. The lessons are organised by his school and his piano pedagogy teacher is sometimes supervising our lessons. It is not privately organized and I pay for my lessons, but I pay his school and not him.
d0nnivain Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Then he can't go near you or he will be kicked out of the program. Get lessons from somebody else if you really want to date him. 1
Tayken Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Get lessons from somebody else if you really want to date him. Exactly Teachers should not fraternize with students. Double exactly. Same goes for bosses / supervisors and subordinates. It never ends well, and then there is the whole conflict of interest / ethics issue. Be a bit flirtatious but he has to make the 1st move. Why is that may I ask?
d0nnivain Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Tayken When I thought the piano teacher was somebody the OP was paying directly & they were otherwise social equals, since he is still a teacher of sorts, given the power dynamic of their current interactions, it was still up to him to make the 1st move. Since realizing this is more academic then initially presented, I revised my opinion to say that he & the OP can't date while she is is student.
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