Gloria25 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 OK but if they married a doctor, they dated the doctor or dated the med student, right? So they probably had to go through that at one point in time while they were dating? Yup, cuz that's what dating is about...for you to see who/what that person is about before you make the decision to go forward...So, those women who marry those doctors or med students, I'm sure they either knew up front that he wouldn't be home for dinner at 5 or they already went through it when he/she was going to med school. BTW, I heard some med students just date "reliable" women while they are in school cuz not only do they want an upgrade when they "do" become a doctor, but that they pretty much just wanted a woman to tend to their needs while they are busy studying - like a mommy would (i.e. cook, clean) for them, PLUS the sex...
Gaeta Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Whether the relationship is solid or at its beginning, if you are exclusive, if you enjoy what you have then you don't drop the person just because they will busy for 2 months. About 1 month after I met my ex he left on duty for 7 months. I waited for him ! and we ended up marrying a couple of years later. Geeezz it's like no one wants to put in any efforts in developing relationships anymore! 1
Author WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 I say ride it through with him but remember that even if you don't get as much attention as you would normally like that he is still contacting you to check in. Which he has been doing so far I'm an Accountant (broad spectrum title for what I actually do) He has a degree in accounting but like you said its a broad spectrum for what he actually does...which is too confusing for me, though he's tried to explain it lol Being supportive can be as simple as checking in but going off and doing your own thing and just not worrying if the busy one doesn't always have the energy to contact you. This sounds rough, I know that. But if I am dating I want to be happy and save my energy for our date night rather than half kill myself calling at silly o'clock each night instead of eating, sleeping and just getting myself through the nasty times. It's no reflection on who I am dating at all. See how it goes! He has warned you about it beforehand and two months is not long at all in the scheme of things. I wouldn't throw a great guy away due to him being busy. Thank you, if I didn't think he was worth it, It wouldn't be a question. ANSWERED IN BOLDED Yup, cuz that's what dating is about...for you to see who/what that person is about before you make the decision to go forward...So, those women who marry those doctors or med students, I'm sure they either knew up front that he wouldn't be home for dinner at 5 or they already went through it when he/she was going to med school. I agree, Gloria. He made me aware with ample timing, so it's up to me to figure out if it's something I can/will put up with.
preraph Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Honestly, I had to reread your post to make sure I didn't read it wrong. What exactly do you find hard to deal with about him not having time or probably the desire to text you all day? Do you not have a job? Are you just lonely sitting around doing nothing? You actually said something like to tell you he missed you. Why should he miss you while he's at work when he knows he can see you after work? That is very cloying and needy and -- well, just yikes. You are very insecure, and honestly, he can't fix that and no man can. You should find out why you're so insecure you are beginning to panic just from the idea of not being able to be in constant contact with a new guy you're dating. It's not healthy and my concern for you is that you will never be at peace until you deal with what caused that and at least realize where it's coming from.
Author WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 Honestly, I had to reread your post to make sure I didn't read it wrong. What exactly do you find hard to deal with about him not having time or probably the desire to text you all day? Do you not have a job? Are you just lonely sitting around doing nothing? You actually said something like to tell you he missed you. Why should he miss you while he's at work when he knows he can see you after work? That is very cloying and needy and -- well, just yikes. You are very insecure, and honestly, he can't fix that and no man can. You should find out why you're so insecure you are beginning to panic just from the idea of not being able to be in constant contact with a new guy you're dating. It's not healthy and my concern for you is that you will never be at peace until you deal with what caused that and at least realize where it's coming from. We don't live together and I didn't make him say he missed me nor did I say I missed him to make him say so. We don't normally text all day everyday because he works. His hours are just going to be much longer. Our "routine" (like someone else said) is changing and I was wondering if I should stay by his side if he is too busy. But I am going to stay. I don't think I'm needy. How did you get insecurity from what I said? I'm in college but like I said we don't normally text all day, I'm not lonely or anything.
Tayken Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 (edited) I say ride it through with him I am sure he is hoping she will too. Ok, I'm sorry, but I don't see how a couple can be "exclusive" w/o having a "title"? This is contradictory.Well said Gloria Edited October 14, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
smackie9 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 IMO no title means keeping your options open, like FWB.
Author WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 IMO no title means keeping your options open, like FWB. He's made it clear (as in said those words) that we aren't that. We had the exclusive talk almost a month ago, but he told me he hasn't dated anyone else since we met and I hadnt either. We are both on the same page, I don't have a problem with the "no title"...he's not saying he doesn't like labels, or he doesn't make it known that I'm not his girlfriend. Once we had the exclusive talk for me, it didn't seem necessary to have another conversation about calling each other gf/bf. I'm not insecure about how or what he feels for me so that's not in question.
Toodaloo Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 The way I see it is that these next couple of months will be tough but this is reality and if you can get through it and still be strong as a couple you will have a great foundation. Good luck. Its not easy but can be done and with the right attitude you can become a stronger and more confident person. Be careful of red flags treat him well and make sure he is doing the same when he has the chance!! 1
Author WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 The way I see it is that these next couple of months will be tough but this is reality and if you can get through it and still be strong as a couple you will have a great foundation. Good luck. Its not easy but can be done and with the right attitude you can become a stronger and more confident person. Be careful of red flags treat him well and make sure he is doing the same when he has the chance!! Thank you so much for your advice and encouragement!
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