writteninreverse Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Hey all, So i'm in a bit of a sticky situation. I had an amazing first date on Friday that involved intense kissing. I've arranged for the second date to be on Wednesday because I want to keep the momentum going. Turns out today I felt a tingling and yes, I have a cold sore! Now, I have had them sporadically since childhood and I didn't have one on Friday, so i'm not concerned that I got one from the date or gave one to her. But i'm really concerned about this date on Wednesday. I have already bought Abreva, but their is simply no way the sore will be healed in time for then. Obviously kissing is out of the question, so i'm concerned that the date will feel like a regression from the previous one. I was considering canceling the date, but then I would have to make up some B.S. lie about the whole thing and I don't want to be that guy who makes up lies to impress women. I'm confident in my own personality that I don't need to do that. Should I send her a text ahead of time? i'm thinking she may go in for the lip-kiss when we greet each other and I don't think it's fair to expose her to the sore when I know it's active. Or should I just mention it at the beginning, make a joke out of it and continue to have a great time on the date anyway? Obviously it will be a little lacking, but then if the rest of the date goes well then I will be all ready to go the next time.
Lernaean_Hydra Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Don't wait till the actual date to spring this no-kissing rule on her or something or else it just looks even more suspicious. Since you don't want to lie and cancel, just tell her you have (or are just getting over) a mild cold and that you don't want to kiss her. Germs and all that. If you want to speed up the healing process, I've heard some good things about using vanilla extract and a cotton ball applied to the affected area 2-4 times daily as needed.
mammasita Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Honestly, I would put the date off. I would totally understand and be accepting but would just rather not know or see a cold sore on my date so early on. Matter of fact, I have one now, so not judging....and I would do the same if I were in your shoes. Just cancel with an excuse and follow up with plans for maybe Friday? 2
Gaeta Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Go to a walk-in clinic and get a prescription of Valtrex, you will see the sore go away in a couple of days maybe even faster. You should have an emergency prescription handy for emergencies like this.
MrMeh Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Just put some duct tape on there and you are good to go! 1
preraph Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Keep it light, but text or call her before the date something funny like "There'll be no kissing tonight no matter how much you beg because I just got a coldsore." Coldsores are common. Yes, they might gross out anyone who hasn't had them but a lot of people have had them since childhood. Do not kiss her with it, though.
Joaquin Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 The cold sore life cycle process usually takes 9-10 days to run it's course and disappear. If your gonna be Mr. Kissing man I'd give it a further week to fully heal. No short cuts. No quick fixes. Once it's out it's out. Just mention it in passing before the date. It's so common it's not worth freaking out about it. 1
travelbug1996 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 cancel the date. tell her you have to go out of town on business or family emergency.
Assasda Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Seriously I hope you take advice from guys on this. Just tell her before hand. Nothing else. If you want to make a joke out of it you can, but... it shouldnt matter 2
Bfef Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Dry the cold sore out with alcohol - put a drop of vodka on it a few times a day and it will heal up pretty fast [don't be tempted to drink all the vodka though ]
Author writteninreverse Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 Good news. I went crazy with the abreva yesterday and the cold sore is barely noticeable now. But it's still a little bit there, so still feel compelled to mention it. I'm just glad it's not in the blistering stage anymore because that would look really unattractive. My plan is to mention it in a text a few hours before the date and make a funny joke or two about the situation and then just go about the date as normal. Does that sound smart?
isisisweeping Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I would tell her in advance, because that way you don't have an awkward kiss dodge which would make her feel bad - and it might not be an issue. Like, if she's had a cold sore or fever blister before, she already has HSV-1 whether she has one now or not, and may not much care as long as it's not painful to you.
quidproquo89 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 its not a big deal man, its a natural thing that has happened to your body. She should understand that
mercuryshadow Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I get them. Aside from an Rx for Valtrex, the best thing I've used to reduce a sore is ice applied for 15 minutes at a time, a few times a day. It is so simple...I couldn't believe how well it worked when I tried it. And yes, you should tell your date about it beforehand.
Gloria25 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Seriously I hope you take advice from guys on this. Just tell her before hand. Nothing else. If you want to make a joke out of it you can, but... it shouldnt matter I'm sorta on the fence on this one... I mean, if you end up dating her long term, she's gotta know... But, some people freak when you tell them something like this too early in dating. Ummmm, what to do here....
Author writteninreverse Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 More good news. The cold sore is basically gone at this point and it is only noticeable on careful inspection. Still, I have opted to tell her because their's still about 5-10% of it there and it may still be contagious. Also, I have the following logic. I would likely ask her if there is anything I should know about before we have sex (if it gets that far). Surely after she answers she is going to ask the same thing of me and of course at that point I would say that I get cold sores every now and then. So, I figured that i'm just saying this bit of information a few dates earlier then I normally would.
Dork Vader Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 You have likely exposed her to it. I have HSV-2 and done a ton of reading. The virus is typically active 7-9 days before any physical symptoms appear and it can still be transmitted up to about 7-9 days after the lesions have healed. You can also spread it when the virus is shedding which typically happens 4-12 times a year, depending on your immune system and numerous other factors. When it is shedding you will have NO symptoms. You should come clean with her. Flaking on the date is going to look real bad, going MIA for over a week is going to look worse. From now on refrain from physical contact until you have told them you have HSV-1. It's not a HUGE deal as it is fairly common upwards of 25% of society has HSV-1 or HSV-2. But it should be THEIR choice if they want to expose themselves to it. You should not gamble with their health.
michellew Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 More good news. The cold sore is basically gone at this point and it is only noticeable on careful inspection. Still, I have opted to tell her because their's still about 5-10% of it there and it may still be contagious. Also, I have the following logic. I would likely ask her if there is anything I should know about before we have sex (if it gets that far). Surely after she answers she is going to ask the same thing of me and of course at that point I would say that I get cold sores every now and then. So, I figured that i'm just saying this bit of information a few dates earlier then I normally would. I don't think you need to tell her at this point. Although common, it may be viewed negatively to someone who doesn't know much about HSV1 or HSV2. There are many people who still associate BOTH with an STD. Who wants to have those conversations so early on?? I wouldn't bring up sex talk now either! She'll assume you are being presumptuous and are expecting sex soon. It would be offensive and a turn off. I'd avoid kissing her and tell her you feel a cold coming on or something. A little white lie never hurt anyone.
Author writteninreverse Posted October 16, 2014 Author Posted October 16, 2014 Just wanted to give you all a heads up. I told her about it a few hours before the date and she didn't have any issues. She also appreciated me telling her so. So there you have it. 3
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