WesternWizard Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Some woman in an asexuality group read my tale of woe about knowing what I'm looking for but having no luck finding it, and she posted back and suggested I'm probably what's called demiromantic. So I looked it up... and lo and behold, now it all makes sense. FYI a demiromantic is someone who needs time to feel a spark, and even then, they're in it for love (a demisexual is someone who needs weeks or months before they'll want to hop in the sackaroo). Suddenly everything made sense. The reason I've had such rotten luck trying to find love since I was a teenager is because the singles and dating scene is designed for pansexuals, not demiromantics or demisexuals (pansexual = someone who can have the hots for just about anyone). This is the reason why speed dating has not worked for me, and it's probably the reason why so many of those professional matchmakers get sued---they're totally baffled when their clients don't like their picks. Simply put, OLD, matchmakers, and all the rest of 'em don't know how the demiromantic and demisexual minds work, and they don't care if their clients feel a spark or not. That's why dating services are such a good racket. Lessons learned... I'll definitely use 'em in my meetups.
Cristo Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Some woman in an asexuality group read my tale of woe about knowing what I'm looking for but having no luck finding it, and she posted back and suggested I'm probably what's called demiromantic. So I looked it up... and lo and behold, now it all makes sense. FYI a demiromantic is someone who needs time to feel a spark, and even then, they're in it for love (a demisexual is someone who needs weeks or months before they'll want to hop in the sackaroo). Suddenly everything made sense. The reason I've had such rotten luck trying to find love since I was a teenager is because the singles and dating scene is designed for pansexuals, not demiromantics or demisexuals (pansexual = someone who can have the hots for just about anyone). This is the reason why speed dating has not worked for me, and it's probably the reason why so many of those professional matchmakers get sued---they're totally baffled when their clients don't like their picks. Simply put, OLD, matchmakers, and all the rest of 'em don't know how the demiromantic and demisexual minds work, and they don't care if their clients feel a spark or not. That's why dating services are such a good racket. Lessons learned... I'll definitely use 'em in my meetups. This woman is wrong and these new age terms are ridiculous. There's no such thing as "the spark". It's something invented by women to describe a feeling that they have when they like both a man's looks and his personality. It has no use in a man's vocabulary (unless he's denouncing its existence). 1
Author WesternWizard Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 This woman is wrong and these new age terms are ridiculous. There's no such thing as "the spark". It's something invented by women to describe a feeling that they have when they like both a man's looks and his personality. It has no use in a man's vocabulary (unless he's denouncing its existence). You sound very bitter. And besides, what happens on LS has no effect offline.
Cristo Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 You sound very bitter. And besides, what happens on LS has no effect offline. Why? Because I'm disagreeing with you? It seems like whenever a man disagrees with a woman here, he is called bitter.
quidproquo89 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 its okay if it takes you longer to work out if you like somebody. Stay relaxed and just give men more dates before you decide. Think about what you want from a potential partner and find out if you see it in that person
serial muse Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 You guys, WesternWizard is a guy. Does that change your advice? 1
Anela Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I have a female friend, in her twenties, who has mentioned the same thing. I tend to be the same way. I feel the spark right away, but I usually won't act on it for a while.
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I have never been able to feel a spark with a stranger. That's why online dating doesn't work for me.
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