fatehighschool Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 Hi I am new to this and at a moment of desperation. My ex and I reconnected after 21 years together (we dated in highschool but he moved interstate), 21 years later we reconnected and have been together for 6 years. We have had our ups and downs but we have always worked through it because we both believed we are meant to be, we are soul mates, how often does someone get an opportunity to come back to their first true love. He even kept my school photo all those years. We broke up for a short period 5 weeks last year because we were arguing and had lost sight of what was important with children and working. Things were fine up until around June this year where he started to withdraw again and in August he threatened to leave as he wasn't happy and it came out of no-where, he left, it has been 9 weeks since he has been gone. WE own a house together and I am still in the house with my daughter. We truly are magnetic to each other and when we see one another the love is still there but he is resistant and does not want to work at it, I know I am nearly 40 and I should know to move on but this is a man that brought so much love and happiness to me until recently, we truly have so much in common and I really don't know what to do, he hasn't pushed to sell the house and every time I ask him to meet up to divide assets and get the house ready to sell he doesn't come yet he is very adamant on not returning home to fix things. He said what is different this time. I have addressed my issues with the relationship and continue to do so but he is still resistant. I have just started the no contact and as hard as it is, I am going to do it for me. I would have thought after 9 weeks apart he would be pulling back to us. We were together for a long time and shared many special times together and had a bond that I thought was unbreakable. Right now he is living at his mothers with his son and acting quite selfish, motorbike riding all the time and not wanting to enter into any reconciliation discussions other than the usual no no but his actions aren't the same. What do I do, do I have patience and wait or do I walk away from someone that has walked into my life again after all this time.. For what, to hurt again?? Any advice guys.
d0nnivain Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 This is the 2nd time it didn't work: in high school & now. Walk away.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 (edited) It's very hurtful, but I don't see how he's being selfish, exactly. He's told you that he doesn't want to continue the relationship. That's his prerogative. He doesn't have to enter reconciliation discussions if he just doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore. I understand you feel it was out of the blue, but it sounds as though it was a little rocky for the last year or so. Hard as it is, I'd walk away. Don't wait around for someone who isn't expressing the same desire as you. EDIT: Somehow I missed the part about not wanting to sell the house. His refusal to consider this is selfish. Tell him you are going to see an attorney about how to proceed. Be prepared to follow through. He can't keep you on the hook like that forever. Edited October 14, 2014 by ExpatInItaly
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