smackie9 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Of course I get it. We haven't even been on that date, so she does have every right to date someone else. BUT if she wants him and not me, she should just tell me instead of play me like this. She probably wants to give it a try to see if there's something, but I would rather not have known about this other guy. Would've been easier to go on a date thinking that there's no one in the corner in case it doesn't go as planned. Dude stop assuming, it could be a fact she doesn't know who she wants, and how could she say she wants you if she hasn't gone out on a date with you yet?? This is the reality of the adult dating world....as they say if it's too hot get out of the kitchen if you can't handle it. IMO if you had any confidence this wouldn't deter you, but here you are sheepishly kicking a stone going "Oh gosh darn golly I'm defeated". 3
UltimaWeapon Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 (edited) I wouldn't pursue this anymore. Especially if she has someone else. I can't personally share the person I like with anyone. It just shows me she wants options and doesn't want me fully. You waited for her for 6 weeks- and you didn't pursue anyone (that was ur choice)...her choice was to keep talking to you- for attention-( in this case u became her back up guy) while she was with this other guy. You are now effectively her plan B- do not even msg her about the date. If she msgs you just tell her straight up - she played you. It's good you found out about this now than later. I am in a similar situation as well (read my last 3 threads) - I also was talking to a girl few days before I left for a month- she told me she wanted to see me and was interested- and it turned out when I came back she didn't wana make time for me- kept saying she was busy, etc. I am not sure if there is someone else- like in ur situation.. But I know EXACTLY how you feel right now. Edited October 14, 2014 by UltimaWeapon 2
Dork Vader Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I agree with Smackie. If you like her go on the flipping date. What do you have to lose? At WORST she'll decide she likes the other guy better, at best you'll win her heart. She's not cheating, she's not lying and she has no reason to tell you about the other "guy". So take her on a date get to know her and have fun, see where it leads.. When I'm dating I'm typically a one at a timer. how ever I will date multiple women at once. I don't know where things are going to lead with anyone woman. I don't want to burn any bridges. If the woman wins my heart she'll have my entire attention. So insteadof sitting here being broken hearted while this other dude wins. Why don't you get off your sob story and steal her from him? 3
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I agree with Smackie. If you like her go on the flipping date. What do you have to lose? At WORST she'll decide she likes the other guy better, at best you'll win her heart. She's not cheating, she's not lying and she has no reason to tell you about the other "guy". So take her on a date get to know her and have fun, see where it leads.. When I'm dating I'm typically a one at a timer. how ever I will date multiple women at once. I don't know where things are going to lead with anyone woman. I don't want to burn any bridges. If the woman wins my heart she'll have my entire attention. So insteadof sitting here being broken hearted while this other dude wins. Why don't you get off your sob story and steal her from him? Thank you!!!!! Arghhhh jeez! 2
smackie9 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Again like I said, and I'll say this to you too.....stop investing your feelings, time, etc, on someone you haven't been out on a date with yet. You expectation of them "waiting" for you is unrealistic. If they have moved on, oh well you missed your opportunity. 1
smackie9 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I agree with Smackie. If you like her go on the flipping date. What do you have to lose? At WORST she'll decide she likes the other guy better, at best you'll win her heart. She's not cheating, she's not lying and she has no reason to tell you about the other "guy". So take her on a date get to know her and have fun, see where it leads.. When I'm dating I'm typically a one at a timer. how ever I will date multiple women at once. I don't know where things are going to lead with anyone woman. I don't want to burn any bridges. If the woman wins my heart she'll have my entire attention. So insteadof sitting here being broken hearted while this other dude wins. Why don't you get off your sob story and steal her from him? Me too! AHHHH jeeez thank you!!
NJ123 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 So to some of you it's okay she highly likely slept with some other guy while he was away while she's leading the OP on? I get she's not exclusive with anyone, but don't you think that behavior is pretty shady? He'll go on a date with her now thinking it's likely she slept with another guy during the time he was away. If she was really into OP, than she wouldn't have held hands with some other guy & sat in his ****ing lap with tons of other people around. 1
Dork Vader Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 You're a confident strong man. That other dude has NOTHING on you. So getin there and win her heart, all you can do is try. If your effort is not good enough she's not worth your time.
NJ123 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 You're a confident strong man. That other dude has NOTHING on you. So getin there and win her heart, all you can do is try. If your effort is not good enough she's not worth your time. lol why would you want to have to compete for this girl in this type of situation? I'd be extremely turned off if I found out she was holding hands with some other guy & sitting in their lap. To me that means there's a high probability that she ****ed him.
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Omg, they haven't even been on a date yet. Maybe she has or maybe she hasn't slept with the other guy. Maybe he was a place holder for this guy. Who knows? Why just sit there looking all sad and heartbroken? There is no competition...! He put too much emotion into this girl already to give up now. Jeez. 1
NJ123 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 (edited) Omg, they haven't even been on a date yet. Maybe she has or maybe she hasn't slept with the other guy. Maybe he was a place holder for this guy. Who knows? Why just sit there looking all sad and heartbroken? There is no competition...! He put too much emotion into this girl already to give up now. Jeez. Yes, but she was leading him on for weeks & weeks. Chatting with him probably almost everyday & even agreeing to date him. Sorry, but if she was that into the OP, she wouldn't of did what she did with this other guy. A date at a restaurant or something I could see, but not holding hands & possibly doing other things with this other guy. And obviously it's bothering the OP too so obviously what she did wasn't good. I wouldn't go on a date with a girl whom I likely thought slept with someone else a week before our date. Edited October 14, 2014 by NJ123
Author GuskeGee Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 Omg, they haven't even been on a date yet. Maybe she has or maybe she hasn't slept with the other guy. Maybe he was a place holder for this guy. Who knows? Why just sit there looking all sad and heartbroken? There is no competition...! He put too much emotion into this girl already to give up now. Jeez. Yeah, thanks for understanding. Thing is, we haven't been on a date yet, so I don't have a clue how it would go or who would become the option in her head. I think since she's single, she's probably looking and searching. She found me attractive, that's why she texted and agreed on a date, but she also found the other guy interesting, so she went out with him while I was gone because she's LOOKING for a partner. She says it's not serious, so why should I not go on that date and see if I'm someone that could become something serious??? "No, we're not together" after a month doesn't sound like a huge thing. A girl would probably have known, especially after a few dates with the guy if it's they're exclusive or not. Maybe she's just looking and I have nothing to lose...
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Yeah, thanks for understanding. Thing is, we haven't been on a date yet, so I don't have a clue how it would go or who would become the option in her head. I think since she's single, she's probably looking and searching. She found me attractive, that's why she texted and agreed on a date, but she also found the other guy interesting, so she went out with him while I was gone because she's LOOKING for a partner. She says it's not serious, so why should I not go on that date and see if I'm someone that could become something serious??? "No, we're not together" after a month doesn't sound like a huge thing. A girl would probably have known, especially after a few dates with the guy if it's they're exclusive or not. Maybe she's just looking and I have nothing to lose... You don't have anything to lose. Go for it. Good luck, mate! 1
Tayken Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I'd be extremely turned off if I found out she was holding hands with some other guy & sitting in their lap. To me that means there's a high probability that she ****ed him. Ah...Bingo. I think most men will feel the same way, especially if it's someone that they are really interested in / dating / married to. Now if we are just talking about the village bicycle here, then it doesn't really matter. 2
smackie9 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 So to some of you it's okay she highly likely slept with some other guy while he was away while she's leading the OP on? I get she's not exclusive with anyone, but don't you think that behavior is pretty shady? He'll go on a date with her now thinking it's likely she slept with another guy during the time he was away. If she was really into OP, than she wouldn't have held hands with some other guy & sat in his ****ing lap with tons of other people around. So the girl should never have a date to the event or go near a guy for 6 weeks because she needed to prove her interest to the OP? zowie that's some high expectations. This is adults we are talking about here not high school right?
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 So the girl should never have a date to the event or go near a guy for 6 weeks because she needed to prove her interest to the OP? zowie that's some high expectations. This is adults we are talking about here not high school right? Plus he heard about it from a friend...talk to her if you really want to know but its really none of your business. Just go out with her.
Georgia2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Yeah, thanks for understanding. Thing is, we haven't been on a date yet, so I don't have a clue how it would go or who would become the option in her head. I think since she's single, she's probably looking and searching. She found me attractive, that's why she texted and agreed on a date, but she also found the other guy interesting, so she went out with him while I was gone because she's LOOKING for a partner. She says it's not serious, so why should I not go on that date and see if I'm someone that could become something serious??? "No, we're not together" after a month doesn't sound like a huge thing. A girl would probably have known, especially after a few dates with the guy if it's they're exclusive or not. Maybe she's just looking and I have nothing to lose... Instead of dwelling on it either go out with her or forget her. Those are your two options. I'm not trying to sound rude but those are your options. I think your crazy if you go out with her. Like I said earlier she is sending up red flags big time. You are to infatuated with this girl to see that. 1
NJ123 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 So the girl should never have a date to the event or go near a guy for 6 weeks because she needed to prove her interest to the OP? zowie that's some high expectations. This is adults we are talking about here not high school right? I never said she can't go out on dates with others. But if she's out holding hands & sitting in another guys lap in public she must REALLY like this other guy. I don't know of a girl who would do that if she didn't like them as more than a friend. The OP is going to be competing for this girl with some guy she already likes a lot. Why get involved at this point? I wouldn't want to be a 2nd option. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 So the girl should never have a date to the event or go near a guy for 6 weeks because she needed to prove her interest to the OP? zowie that's some high expectations. This is adults we are talking about here not high school right? It's pretty good evidence that she doesn't like the OP. At least relative to the other guy. 6 weeks is not very long to go dateless. I've gone 2 years without a date before and I've survived. She should get to do whatever she wants. Just don't expect the OP to not use it as evidence of disinterest.
smackie9 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 The only thing this girl owes him is a date....that's it. Waiting around for someone you don't even know if you want a relationship with for 6 weeks is ridiculous and unrealistic. 1
daizy Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Hi guys. -When texting, she responded with detailed messages -She asked me many personal questions about my hobbies, my family, my job, my passion etc. - When texting, she sent me heart emojis, kiss-face emojis and was generally very cute over text, especially when saying "Good night." - When I told her I was going to do something, she remembered it. She actually remembered quite many small details. - She sent many "haha" when I even wasn't trying to be funny. - She always took 20-30 min. to respond, even though I saw the message was seen almost immediately after I sent it (FB messenger). - We've been chatting for over a month and our convo could go on for days. - She agreed on going on a date with me, saying she "would love to." - She usually thought whatever I did was "wow, that's so cool." - While she NEVER initiated the convo, she NEVER initiated to end. I was always the one ending it. There's no end game yet. Not sure why you're freaking out. I feel compelled to respond your question because often - my texts are misinterpreted for interest because I'm friendly. Sometimes I'll see the guy as a potential friend even, but he will think I'm interested. I'm not saying that's the case for you - you can still ask her out, she said she isn't with that guy. You guys haven't gone out on a date, haven't seen eachother for a while, you can't rely on text messaging. Many people casually date several people at a time to keep their options open. The thing is, you guys haven't even gone out yet! There's still a lot of potential there. If you like you, ask her out, if she says no then you move on but she might say yes! The thing is, everything you listed in "how she texts you" doesn't guarantee she likes you just saying. Now maybe the kissing emoji sends mixed signals, but sometimes people throw them around without any real meaning. I remember details because I have good memory, I "haha" at everything even when it's not funny, I'll respond quickly even if I'm not into you. I think you built everything up more than what it is. I'm just saying don't have expectations going into this, don't assume she's all into you just yet, but just because she's "seeing" this guy/exploring her options doesn't mean that's the end. Who knows - you could ask her out and that other guy could fade away. Take a chance.
xXMarlboro_ManXx Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Just go on a date, you really have nothing to lose. As mentioned in previous posts she really did nothing wrong yet. If she wasn't interested all along that would be cruel but you don't know her intentions. If it goes bad or she flakes let that be a lesson to don't count your chickens before they're hatched (you actually might want to wait for an egg in the first place )
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 The only thing this girl owes him is a date....that's it. Waiting around for someone you don't even know if you want a relationship with for 6 weeks is ridiculous and unrealistic. Of course she doesn't owe him anything. I'm just saying it's really unrealistic to believe she likes him. She doesn't, she likes the other guy. It doesn't matter how much people refuse to see it and demand that he go on this date. Facts are still facts...
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Of course she doesn't owe him anything. I'm just saying it's really unrealistic to believe she likes him. She doesn't, she likes the other guy. It doesn't matter how much people refuse to see it and demand that he go on this date. Facts are still facts... That's bull. He was gone for 6 weeks...he wasn't even on the same playing field, for lack of a better phrase! That could have been the last night she saw that dude. You don't even know how many dates they've been on. You can't assume anything! He needs to talk to her, BOTTOM LINE! 1
NJ123 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 That's bull. He was gone for 6 weeks...he wasn't even on the same playing field, for lack of a better phrase! That could have been the last night she saw that dude. You don't even know how many dates they've been on. You can't assume anything! He needs to talk to her, BOTTOM LINE! True, but like I said a few times before if she's holding hands with this guy, sitting in his lap, & dancing with him all night she must have a good connection with him. A girl isn't going to do those things with a guy she doesn't like. Those are signals that she likes him as more than just a friend, and most definitely went out quite a bit while the OP was away.
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