How to get rid of the sinking feeling inside

[DirtyHairy]

Hey people of love shack.

I had something I really need some advice on as it has been bothering me lately.

 

Basically I dated someone and was ultra serious for almost 3 years of my life. They left me in a crappy way and started sleeping around a bit. Then I was really in the dumps for about 8 months but tried to do stuff for myself and I hung out with my friends quite a bit and started working out and got into good shape.

 

I didn't make a lot of friends at school that year so that kinda sucked and it was tough to meet new girls.

 

Anyways to the point.

Basically throughout those 8 months I always had this sinking feeling. I felt depressed and anxious all the time even when I was out with my friends enjoying my time with them but quite often I would find myself thinking of my old girlfriend and how I wish I could find a new girl to date to try to have something serious. I basically just wanted to meet a girl because I am really happy to have a girlfriend and treat them really well and make memories with them.

 

I met a girl and then dated and she left me after about 5 months. Never told me why and just kinda broke up without telling me to my face.

 

Now its been a month and a half and I keep having this sinking feeling. I have been to a counsellor to try and figure out why I feel this way and take anxiety medication but It doesn't help all the time.

 

Does anyone else have this feeling? Its anxiety mixed with depression and the longing for being with someone?

Once I meet a girl it always goes away so I don't really get it.

 

Any help would be great, thanks everyone!

[herself]

I really hope you feel better even being single its a healthy thing to feel whole just on your own aside from being in a couple.

If you're only happy having a female you will smother her or since breakups are part of life every time a relationship crumbles your world will fall apart.

If you try to be very independent, confident, and go through life just looking to do your best and be yourself love happens when your not looking for it.

Dont define yourself by your single status.

Work on school, jobs, invest time in your friends, take classes for hobbies like art, running, music where you can broaden horizons and meet different types of people and stretch your boundaries.

You gotta be happy alone...a partner is meant to compliment you not fulfill you.

[herself]

Ps. Meant to add good luck and its ok to be lonely too but you have to find balance so when ms. Right comes along she doesn't become your every thing and your whole world but yet you still have you. Work on liking you best and believe and think positive.

Sincerely wish you the best.

[DirtyHairy]

I really hope you feel better even being single its a healthy thing to feel whole just on your own aside from being in a couple.

If you're only happy having a female you will smother her or since breakups are part of life every time a relationship crumbles your world will fall apart.

If you try to be very independent, confident, and go through life just looking to do your best and be yourself love happens when your not looking for it.

Dont define yourself by your single status.

Work on school, jobs, invest time in your friends, take classes for hobbies like art, running, music where you can broaden horizons and meet different types of people and stretch your boundaries.

You gotta be happy alone...a partner is meant to compliment you not fulfill you.

 

Thanks for the kind words.

 

I agree that its okay to be single and all my friends tell me that (but they are guys are are always saying typical guy things like "oh you can do better" "just go out and party and enjoy single life" and stuff like that but that's not really me)

 

I do feel incomplete tho without a girlfriend. That's true.

I'm not sure why I feel incomplete because I have lots going for me but finding and being with someone I love is my favourite thing in the world. Which kind of sucks because the one thing I love the most is being in love yet I don't have it and then I get depressed or sink thinking about it.

 

Also when I get into a relationship I do tend to smother them with communication and surprises and stuff and maybe that's not a good thing that I get serious quickly.

 

I just don't know how to be happy alone (as bad and sad as that is) not that I've had a ton of girlfriends or anything but don't like being single so its hard for my friends to understand that because they just love being alone and the ones who are in happy relationships are happy with that too

[DirtyHairy]

Also just a little point that might be relevant.

 

When I was with that girl for 3 years I was the happiest guy in the world. When someone said hey how are you I always replied with a big smile on my face "I'm awesome" or "I'm fantastic" and everyone saw how happy I was.

 

Now when people ask me how I am I say "I'm alright" "not bad" things like that. I would reply like I used to but then that would just be a lie.

I'm just haven't been very happy since then, had some troubles with the second girl where she made me feel like I wasn't important to her so got me a little more sad.

 

Do you think just lying about how I am doing will eventually turn into positive thoughts and it turn into me actually being happy? Just hate lying lol

[DirtyHairy]

So today was a bad day. Just want to vent a little and maybe get some advice or words of encouragement from you kind people.

 

Spent some time doing my hobbies and hung out with my friend which was good because i havent hung out with him very much (hes very busy so i appreciate the time that i get to spend with him) but the whole time I felt like garbage. I decided to take a loneliness quiz and I scored extremely lonely which really sucks because I thought it wouldn't be that bad. I could really use a hug right now and have someone just hold me in their arms (even though I'm a guy and all my guy friends would think that's stupid or weird but I just want someone to hug me)

 

I am so tempted to contact my ex. I miss her like crazy and my heart is just hurting so much today. If I could give her a hug and see her it would mean everything to me. I obviously think that it could work but I know that's not what she wants and I know it.

 

I feel pretty low today and have cried a little bit to much for my own good. I feel like if I try and meet someone else that's just going to hurt them or hurt me. I'm to emotional for my own good I take everything so personally and when people leave me like they always do I hate myself for it and my world comes crashing down.

 

I dont think I'm ready for a relationship again even though all I want in the whole world is to be with someone who I can spend time with and fall in love with am make memories and a life together. I'm not emotionally ready and maybe I'm insecure because all I want is to be in a relationship but I can't let go of the past and maybe I'm insecure about myself and about spending my life alone. I just hate this feeling.

 

It was 8 or more months of this feeling before and it never went away until I got a new girlfriend. I don't want to go through that again but I am right now so I don't think I really have a choice, its been a month and a half of this crappy feeling and I'm already so tired of it. I can't sleep without waking up thinking of it I can't study for midterms I can't focus I can't do anything.

 

I just feel like this sinking feeling is just going to be what my life is going to be. I hate being single and no matter how hard I try I just can't be happy being single. At the same time it isn't fair for me to try and seek out a relationship if I'm unhappy beforehand, even though it makes me happy to make others happy in a relationship and then I feel fulfilled. If I'm unhappy Alone then go into a relationship seeking happiness that isn't fair to the person I date and they will probably leave me like everyone else has.

 

I can't accept this feeling. I just want to be happy. I just want a girlfriend to treat like a princess and marry them and have a family someday...that's my dream but I don't feel it will happen.

 

 

I'm sorry for the rant everyone but I didn't want to start a new thread because this is still about the same stuff. I'm not really seeking any particular answers just needed to vent and see if anyone has been feeling this way lately.

Edited October 16, 2014 by DirtyHairy