KarlaB Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 Hey guys.. I haven't been here in awhile. Been crazy busy moving. I am finally in my new house which feels good. We did manage to sell our house so my stbx will have to be moving now. Now that he has someone in his life, and I know I have asked before, how have you all dealt with that and parenting? I have this feeling of being replaced which I am sure everyone goes through. Just looking for ways to deal with that so soon. Thanks.
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 Well, being the child without a father to grow up with... My mum was strong yet allowed for my father to be around me. Needless to say his parenting was lacking. Though my step dad did a fairly good job. Seeing what was real was easy for me so I never had shown blame or resentment. through time I accepted what dad allowed and what mum allowed as separate ways. if anything, accepting what happens away is better than picking at how your child will react and behave. They will play against you but never disowen you as long as you show your love and allow them to make their own judgements for themselves.
Mr. Lucky Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 I have this feeling of being replaced Truthfully, you have been. The good news is you've been fired from a job - being married to him - that hopefully you've figured out you don't want anyway. My 3 divorced parent guidelines: - Make the most of your time with your kids - Respect the ex as the parent of your children - Don't let their conduct dictate your response You'll get through this, your kids will feel loved and life will go on. And sometime soon, the crazy-making will cease ... Mr. Lucky
jakrbbt Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 The developmental psychologist I visited helped me so much by stating: "Don't underestimate the power of your own healthy influence, even if you have less time with the child." You don't have any need at all to control what your ex or his new woman do. Your job is to be YOU to your child-- no one else can be. He will bask in your influence. And the more helpful and nurturing and responsive-to-his-needs your care is, the more he will be influenced by it-- even if there are other people in his life with whom he spends a lot of time. I think you are grieving your past. You need to give yourself time to grieve.
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