Would/Do you make small talk if you bumped into your ex who dumped you??

[Ordinaryday]

as the dumpee I adhere to strict 100% NC and most of the time my dumpers respect that. in fact, the only real time my dumpers break nc is when I happen to see them in a public place (supermarket, library, etc).

 

in these occasions i have often had the dumper walk up to me and say hi and try to make small talk with me. Nothing doing. I usually turn my head the other way, pretend I dont see them and keep walking.

 

if they call out to me I will just ignore them. if they cornered me and tried starting a conversation I would say right to their face "I have nothing to say to you, dont speak to me".

 

I don't want to hear how their life is going, how great their new boyfriend is, how well they are, nothing. and as I have said on here before, I consider remaining in contact with me a privilege not a right and they forfeit that privilege the moment they dump me.

 

I dont care about putting on appearances or anything and I dont care if this will make them think that I am not over them, cos their opinion is now irrelevant to me.

 

I have no interest in engaging in passive-aggressive small talk with an ex - my friend told me how he bumped into his dumper and while she was superfically polite she went out of her way to tell him how great her life is now and how great her new guy is.

 

no way I would stand there and listen to that with a straight face.

 

so if you bumped into your dumper would you make small talk with them? tell them not to speak to you? tell me!

[Simon Phoenix]

While I'm recovering, no, i'd prefer not to. After I've recovered, sure, I don't really care either way.

[Raena]

If I run into someone I used to date, I'm not going to act like I don't know the person but I'm also not going to go out of my way to strike up conversation either. If they come up to me, I wouldn't be rude and tell them I have nothing to say either. If you are truly over that person, it wouldn't bother you to hear about their life or to just say hello. That's the important part... if you are truly over them. To act indignant that someone you used to be intimate with could dare to speak to you just sends the message that you are still hung up on them.

 

I think it depends too, on how long it's been since the relationship ended. If it was relatively recent, then speaking to each other might be painful, especially if I was the one who was dumped. I'd then go out of my way to avoid that person if at all possible and I might even be bold enough to say "don't talk to me"... but it would simply be because I was still hurting.

[Ordinaryday]

I completely agree with you both in that it you would never do it while you are still not 100% over them.

 

sure I admit if you are 100% over them and do not even have the slightest, not even the littlest, bit of romantic feeling left for them at all then it is okay to talk to them.

 

but if you still are hung up on them talking to them is just a recipe for disaster.

[Arieswoman]

I have always said that I would not wish my ex-husband any harm but if he stepped in front of my car I wouldn't rush to hit the brakes ....

[H245]

I would prefer not to talk to my ex while still recovering. The last few times we tried talking were too painful for me. Especially since she is on bf number 2 within the first 6 months post BU.

 

What do you say to the dumper who will wants to be friends and is trying to make an effort to do so?

[Haydn]

This resonates.

 

 

I have always said that I would not wish my ex-husband any harm but if he stepped in front of my car I wouldn't rush to hit the brakes ....

[mammasita]

Nah, no reason to. I might look and smile to acknowledge their existence but otherwise....nope.

[Toddbt12y1]

Keep on walking and avoid that train wreck.

[No Limit]

Erhm, no. I'd say "Hello" if we were walking past each other directly, but that's it. Just keep walking.

[mammasita]

Keep on walking and avoid that train wreck.

 

Speaking of train wrecks......I just have to share this tidbit of train wreck info SOMEWHERE!!!!

 

(sorry to thread jack)

 

My ex (who brought me here) has been dating a stripper for a month now - they already live together and she's 3 months pregnant. Yes, do the math.

 

And she quit stripping to have a better life for her baby.....i.e. no income.

[littleblacksubmarine]

I don't want to hear how their life is going, how great their new boyfriend is, how well they are, nothing

 

Think you're right with pretty much everything. If you're not over them then hearing anything about their life is running the risk of unnecessary pain, better to appear rude or not over them. Once you're over them it really doesn't matter what you do, so might as well be civil

[Toddbt12y1]

Speaking of train wrecks......I just have to share this tidbit of train wreck info SOMEWHERE!!!!

 

(sorry to thread jack)

 

My ex (who brought me here) has been dating a stripper for a month now - they already live together and she's 3 months pregnant. Yes, do the math.

 

And she quit stripping to have a better life for her baby.....i.e. no income.

 

 

Sounds like you dodged a real loser right there!

[lauri]

I would say I would walk right past them and pretend I do not know them.

 

However, one time I was forced to talk to my ex because I used to work retail and she ended up at the cash I was at. When I was forced to talk to her, I kept smiling and just pretending like she was just a regular customer and didn't even show any emotions.

 

Afterwards, she dropped me an email saying how she "was so happy to see me" and "wanted to hang out soon". I just ignored her email and continued to move on with my life. So, my opinion is, ignore their existence. If you're forced, do what I did, keep it short and leave it at that.

[No Limit]

And she quit stripping to have a better life for her baby.....i.e. no income.

 

A drug user and a stripper. And a baby on the way. Cameras on!

[me85]

Uuuuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhh........Hmmmmmmmmmmm.........?