Conflicted emotions; do I actually like her?

[Tik]

There is this girl whom has been constantly getting in touch with me, her friends giggle when I am about and make way for her to spend time with me alone. In essence, I get the feeling that she is interested. Thing is I don't know if I do. In the past when I started liking a girl, it was that instant obsession almost where I cannot stop thinking about her and just want to build my life around her etc; you know it, the infatuation. But I've been burnt so many times, been let down and been rejected that I just don't let myself feel that anymore. Hence with this current girl, my emotions are conflicted and I cannot tell if I really like her or not. I don't want to date her then hurt her feelings realising that I'm not that into her.

 

I guess it is further compounded by me recently trying to get my life on track; the last rejection was the last call of my old me. My thoughts and aims are elsewhere and not in looking for love.

 

So what do you guys think? How do you tell when you are attracted to someone? I mean when I see her I smile, get this feeling of 'comfortableness' and giddiness but my heart does not race, I don't get obsessed. Is that it?

[acrosstheuniverse]

If you know deep down you're not into her but wish you could make yourself into her because it would be nice to have a relationship, don't date her.

 

Otherwise, if you're genuinely confused, go for it! Date her. It's just dating, you could go on a few dates and then stay friends, that's what dating is about, it's not marriage. Feel free to ask her out and then go out and see how you feel then after some one on one time. I'm pretty sure you will realise how you feel about her pretty fast.

 

Personally I generally try and wait for the butterflies and the person capable of making me infatuated, but there have been times, especially after being burnt as you say, when I've become much more cynical and gone on a dating spree and not been into any of them. Even when I found the guy I'm with now back in January I was wary of getting into anything because I was so nervous of going through the pain again. When he asked me if I wanted a relationship with him I said I needed to think about then spent the weekend without him mulling it over because I wanted to make sure I could bring myself to go through it all again. I realised he was special and I couldn't let the opportunity go and now we're really happy, but being burnt definitely made me more cautious.

 

Sometimes better relationships spring from the slow burn of knowing somebody and then building it slowly. But if all you're interested in is just some casual fun (you say you're not looking for love) then let it be known when you date her, don't keep quiet because most women assume a man pursuing them is interested in a relationship. Good luck.