FitChick Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Personality, especially humor, is the glue keeping you together through bad times. I've recently been emailing a guy on a dating website because he lives in an area where I plan to vacation soon. In his profile he says he is "intelligent, good looking and funny." He is only the first two. So far he is coming off as dull or his humor is so dry it's dust. Maybe he isn't good at expressing himself in writing -- scientific, technical background. Now, we haven't spoken by phone yet, which I plan to do to closer to departure to firm up my travel plans. I am trying to remain neutral. It could also be he is dating and emailing other women so doesn't have the time. One interesting bit -- he won't give me his personal email while I have given him mine but he continues writing via website. He did reveal his last name and I haven't. I googled him and so far what he's told me is true. He is an Aquarius which is a problem in and of itself!
Author JohnM Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 Would never dream of stating I was good looking in my profile, photos are there for others to decide that. I am a technical kind of a guy, but you can generally tell from even digital communication if someone has a spark of humour about them. I've ended too many conversations of old where the responses give me nothing to work with or they don't ask me things. Blood from a stone some people! The surname, that's even more golden. Check his Facebook! I stay on site for about four days then I suggest switching to text or whatsapp. Site systems are usually garbage! If you want more confirmation, try a reverse image search of his pictures. That is probably the most amazing tool I have found Google can perform in the past year!
braindamage Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 80/20 at least - I can't ****ing stand annoying people.
Tayken Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I am a technical kind of a guy, but you can generally tell from even digital communication if someone has a spark of humour about them. I've ended too many conversations of old where the responses give me nothing to work with or they don't ask me things. Blood from a stone some people! Ahahahaha...you and I are alike then. This past weekend I have had to block 2 women. I am just not that man who is only interested in you salacious pictures, and wants to talk sex. I stay on site for about four days then I suggest switching to text You are generous with the 4 days try a reverse image search of his pictures Not if he knows what he is doing to avoid this, but then if he has nothing to hide like me. I've recently been emailing a guy on a dating website because he lives in an area where I plan to vacation soon. Obviously NOT for a serious relationship then? He did reveal his last name and I haven't. I googled him and so far what he's told me is true. Does mean he won't turn out to be a CATFISH though
xxoo Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 This is one of those threads where people will say things on here just to look good, but in reality (away from us all) are bound to do the opposite. If personality really is the most common answer, why is it that we are seeing a whole lot of splits and marriage breakdowns... I mean are people really changing that much? Attractive personality does not automatically equal good for marriage. It means sexy personality. Someone can be fun and assertive and charming and be a crap husband But he can also look like an ogre and still be sexy as all heck. Speaking for myself at least, a sexy personality isn't "nice guy". Rather, it's a set of personality traits that are sexy!
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I've never put any emphasis on looks. When I was with my exes, others made remarks about their unattractiveness. I didn't care. I thought they were great guys at the time, I loved their personalities. I wouldn't change that, I don't see any reason for me to be fussy about looks. Are you for real? Seriously, are you a real woman?
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I'm going to put my thoughts out here honestly and hope I don't get criticised for doing so. When looking for a partner in what ratio do you weigh looks and personality and looking back on your experiences would you alter your criteria. I can't tell if I am just too critical in who I am willing to settle for. I'm a good looking guy, and my personality is not lacking to go alongside that. I imagine that's going to be taken to sound arrogant but please don't judge me on that alone, if anyone on here knows since I have been here for a while I'm not an egotistical guy. It just places me in a situation where I feel it's not too demanding to be with someone similar, a good looking girl with a personality. I'm just considering if in fact I'm narrowing my window too much. In my past I have dated a girl who personality wise was great but I just wasn't physically attracted to her and with that lacking it just couldn't go far. Earlier this year I dated a highly attractive girl but her personality was just void and so that stopped in its tracks. Have others been through similar attempts and come to a grounding of what their standards are? I'm not naive to believe that looks are the be all and end all of a person and that long term the personality is the thing that counts and how they treat you. But in my experience so far someone can be ideal in terms of the person but if you don't have the attraction to them that's just not something you can work past when you get to the point you're in their bed. I feel it's a catch 22 in my head as each balances the other and something has to give, or if I persist in my search I feel like I just don't know how many needles are in my haystack. I don't really think about it. If some combination of looks and conversation piques my interest, I ask them out. At that point, the woman decides whether or not it goes any further, so the combination is determined by whom will agree to take it further or at least give it a chance. I don't really care about looks that much though. I never really have and I'm getting pretty old.
GemmaUK Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I NEED some physical attraction intitially. This has waned later on due to massive sweaters covering pregnant looking tummies. In my defence I am tiny 5ft and only 110lbs. I'm talking guys who are a few inches taller and over double my weight. I need a personality I get on with who doesn't bore me. If his bod is not my type and his personality not my type I'm not gonna stay. Equally, his bod may be my type but if he has the personality of a drain I'm not gonna stay either.
Phoe Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Are you for real? Seriously, are you a real woman? Plenty of other women in this thread have stated that personality plays a huge role in attraction. It's not just me.
Tayken Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Are you for real? Seriously, are you a real woman? Well, although Phoe and I don't usually see eye to eye on matters, I have to admit that am shock to hear that from her, and if indeed she means that from the bottom of her heart, then I am publicly going to say I respect her for that, and kudos to her on that type of outlook on relationships. I can see why you might be doubting this, and yes there are those who will just say things for convenience sake, and go and do the opposite because we are not there to call them out on it.
FitChick Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Obviously NOT for a serious relationship then? Does mean he won't turn out to be a CATFISH though Who knows? My plan was to go there before I ever even joined match. Then I got the idea that I might meet a man or two who could show me around. It's always more fun doing things with someone. Whether or not anything develops would be a bonus. I'm not really expecting it to, to be honest. I will still enjoy my vacation. I desperately need a change of scenery and an escape from work. Hope it doesn't snow!
Els Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Honestly, looks is barely even on the radar for me. Yes, someone with a great personality and no attraction would just be a friend, but there is so much more to attraction than just looks. I suppose there does have to be a minimum baseline for looks (not morbidly obese), but anything above the baseline really doesn't matter much to me. The ratio is probably something like 40% personality, 30% compatibility, 29% intellect and 1% looks. 2
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