somedude81 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I find this fascinating...and slightly depressing. Looks are king. A woman would rather give BJ's to better looking guys who would never date them, instead of actually being in a relationship with guys like us. Life is sh*t.
lovingone Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 (edited) What's your suggestion then? That OP sleep with every attractive guy she meets and hopes that he settles down with her? It sounds like she's already doing that and it's not working very well for her. pursue the kind of relationship you want with whoever you are attracted to by keeping your legs shut until you know they really like you as a person. If it doesn't work out, at least you tried. But don't sell yourself short than someone who is "more attractive" that you wouldn't want a relationship with you. Edited October 14, 2014 by lovingone spelling 1
lovingone Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Looks are king. A woman would rather give BJ's to better looking guys who would never date them, instead of actually being in a relationship with guys like us. Life is sh*t. Hey neighbor! How are you?
Ruby Slippers Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I find this fascinating...and slightly depressing. Some men are the same way. They'd rather act as a servant and put up with a lot of BS from a woman who's better-looking than them, than be in a more balanced relationship with a woman with similar looks. What kind of guys are you attracted to, OP? And how long do you typically wait before you have sex? 3
HereAndThenGone Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 The two types of women I usually see who run into this problem are either really overweight, or young single moms. Yep. I've had no problem sleeping with attractive men but I have twin girls. It's always a "fair" excuse to bail. Even though they come at me like they're looking to persue something it's all a bunch of crap and they go running for the hills after we have sex a few times and things start getting more serious.
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Some men are the same way. They'd rather act as a servant and put up with a lot of BS from a woman who's better-looking than them, than be in a more balanced relationship with a woman with similar looks. What kind of guys are you attracted to, OP? And how long do you typically wait before you have sex? Well, I'd probably put up with an awful lot from a woman. But that's because I really don't have any options. You have to take what you can get. I'd like to think most women have a lot of good options. But I'm probably biased in that I happen to think most women are smart and good looking and fun to be around. Not that my opinion matters or anything...
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 This is part of your problem. My tolerance for BS is pretty low. Most women respect that. I would be single and watch porn every day before I would consider putting up with "an awful lot" from a woman. Your tolerance is low because you can afford to have it be low. Other people aren't so fortunate...
NJ123 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Seems that the OP is attracted to the "bad boys" who are known to just use women for sex than go on to the next woman. What type of men are you going after specifically? Your obviously not going after the right type of guys if your making a thread specifically saying that the guys your attracted to just want to sleep with you.
suladas Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 It has nothing to do with looks. Plenty of good looking people of both genders are only looking for a quick lay, as well as less attractive people for the same thing. There is also plenty of attractive and less attractive people looking for more then just sex to. It's based on character, not looks. 1
Author LoverOfDance Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 Hi, once again, thanks everyone for taking interest in this thread. I just wanted to say that I think It's funny that "Enigma" and many other posters have already assumed that I'm having sex with all the "attractive" guys who would rather sleep with me than date me. Because I am on a dating site, I have had over a 100 men, no joke, (men who I have found very attractive) ask me for sex and I have not said yes to even one of them. Yup, some girls know how to stick to their guns and would rather be alone than give themselves to men who do not understand how amazingly awesome and beautiful they are. Enigma, all I want to say to you is this - remember that life is not black and white. Don't be too quick to make conclusions. Also, remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 1
NJ123 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Hi, once again, thanks everyone for taking interest in this thread. I just wanted to say that I think It's funny that "Enigma" and many other posters have already assumed that I'm having sex with all the "attractive" guys who would rather sleep with me than date me. Because I am on a dating site, I have had over a 100 men, no joke, (men who I have found very attractive) ask me for sex and I have not said yes to even one of them. Yup, some girls know how to stick to their guns and would rather be alone than give themselves to men who do not understand how amazingly awesome and beautiful they are. Enigma, all I want to say to you is this - remember that life is not black and white. Don't be too quick to make conclusions. Also, remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. lol well the online dating aspect explains it. Since probably more than half of guys on there will just flat out ask if you want to have sex. 1
ascendotum Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Very true. I did so myself back in the day. I eventually learned better. That's generally how it goes. My roommate is out with such a girl as we speak. She's attractive, but since she has 2 kids and a somewhat extensive sexual history, he has no desire to actually date her. The thing is, I bet you have plenty of guys who actually want to be with you, but do you actually give them a shot? This is part of your problem. My tolerance for BS is pretty low. Most women respect that. I would be single and watch porn every day before I would consider putting up with "an awful lot" from a woman. Depends on the woman. I don't think unattractive women have it any easier than unattractive men. Yes guys do put up with bs for the sake of a pretty gf, though the BJ only relationships that some guys get do seem a bit weirder. I guess the more one sided equivalent is the guy who is in the friend zone but does the girl lots of favors (with no return from her) hoping she will see what a great guy he is. Plenty of guys will drive across town to lick a girl they like out if she called them at midnight, but as a guy I get that and it does not seem as desperate. I've had a couple of friends who had BJ only relationships. Another guy I hung out with who could have been a dolce & gabbana model used to get them at clubs and out in the carpark. The girls were happy to just service him, and if you think they must have been scrags...wrong, upper middle class eastern suburbs girls. Was a little disillusioning hanging out with him. It would be a ego rush for sure. As for single mothers, quite a few do clock up a lot guys. Some of the ones I know I feel do realise they have a disadvantage in the relationship market + also have their priority their children, and don't want to compromise on a bf, so they don't settle and are fine having FWBs with more desirable guys they want, and find another soon after he moves on. They enjoy sex are not desperate for a guy's support and seem happy with the situation but will say they don't have a bf because guy's wont stick around, but they know what they are doing. Then there are other single moms that end up with lots of guys but aren't out for that. In some cases they are just deadbeat single moms who attract loser users, but in other cases they are quality women who refuse to believe they have to lower standards or change in their relationship expectations just because they have kids. They tend to be yummy mommys and can pick up hot guys easy on their kid free weekends. They can get hot guys for ons/fwb and decent guys for relationships, but ultimately a lot of the guys don't stick around for the long term. They want guys with lots of options and these guys do and ultimately many want the gf with no kids when it comes to settling down. Not all single moms are like this by any means, but I just notice the ones that do seem to see lots of guys seem to cover these 2 types.
ascendotum Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Hi, once again, thanks everyone for taking interest in this thread. I just wanted to say that I think It's funny that "Enigma" and many other posters have already assumed that I'm having sex with all the "attractive" guys who would rather sleep with me than date me. Because I am on a dating site, I have had over a 100 men, no joke, (men who I have found very attractive) ask me for sex and I have not said yes to even one of them. Yup, some girls know how to stick to their guns and would rather be alone than give themselves to men who do not understand how amazingly awesome and beautiful they are. Do you have a 'type' when it comes to guys. My friends who were in rock bands slept with lots of girls (not all but most), and you could not say they were really attractive men. Those attractive guys on OLD you mention above seem to be upfront on wanting sex, so its easy to filter them out. What about very attractive guys who aren't so obvious in their intentions. People here can only 2nd guess what might be going wrong in that you have a hard time finding a guy who doesn't want to stick around after the sex. I'm assuming the guy's you have been with are doing the fade after sex, because all guys who show interest in you will want to sleep with you. Ask your friends for their unbiased opinion.
Cristo Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Your tolerance is low because you can afford to have it be low. Other people aren't so fortunate... This might sound strange to the untrained eye, but you'll actually start attracting higher quality women when you develop a low tolerance for BS and a higher level of self-respect. I'm not fantastic looking either and I've noticed this trend in my life. 3
Diezel Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I just wanted to say that I think It's funny that "Enigma" and many other posters have already assumed that I'm having sex with all the "attractive" guys who would rather sleep with me than date me. Because I am on a dating site, I have had over a 100 men, no joke, (men who I have found very attractive) ask me for sex and I have not said yes to even one of them. Yup, some girls know how to stick to their guns and would rather be alone than give themselves to men who do not understand how amazingly awesome and beautiful they are. This is the reason why this thread exists? Because of 100 men who sent you a message through OLD? Come on now. Enigma, all I want to say to you is this - remember that life is not black and white. Don't be too quick to make conclusions. Also, remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I think you missed a few more cliches there. 2
LoneIsland Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Yup, some girls know how to stick to their guns and would rather be alone than give themselves to men who do not understand how amazingly awesome and beautiful they are. These alone girls are not amazing or awesome. They probably suffer some kind of psychological or physical conditions that scared men away. 3
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 This might sound strange to the untrained eye, but you'll actually start attracting higher quality women when you develop a low tolerance for BS and a higher level of self-respect. I'm not fantastic looking either and I've noticed this trend in my life. It's not really a matter of attracting higher quality women. I don't really attract any type of women. Hence why I'd put up with an awful lot.
Author LoverOfDance Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 @fortyninethousand322 You really need to have more confidence in yourself. This is probably why you don't attract many women. I honestly doubt that it has anything to do with your looks. Work on building your self confidence. 1
Author LoverOfDance Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 @LoneIsland I wish there was a dislike button for that useless comment of yours. 2
Author LoverOfDance Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 (edited) @Enigma I have no idea why you keep talking about "leagues" and "levels" of women like some women are naturally better than others simply because YOU believe they are more appealing physically. Your way of thinking about beauty is seriously flawed. I am trying to tell you that the definition of beauty is SUBJECTIVE and not objective. Seems like to you, big girls are not beautiful but to MANY other men, they are. And just so you know, there's NO self-respect in watching porn all the time. It is actually very sad. And I honestly think you don't have as much self esteem as you think you do. Edited October 14, 2014 by LoverOfDance 1
todreaminblue Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 it can be quite depressing when guys who seem so gentlemanly and respectful and say all the right things only for those things said..... to be a crock of bat guano to get you into bed.... denying those guys....is a feel good emotion......its a warm hug for your personal self esteem to say no....its saying hey ....i will not be used so back the hell off.....waiting for the right guy who appreciates all you are not just your vagina .....or a blow job.......is a good aspiration i truly believe good things come to those who wait..we dotn know when or how or who.....but they will turn up.........best wishes....deb 3
HereNorThere Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 This is a classic case of intimacy issues. I think each person has had them at a certain point in life, and this seems to be yours. Lot's of people pine over the people that don't seem to reciprocate their feelings or feel like a challenge, but when the prospect of real relationship comes up, they go running for the hills. Face it, you wouldn't ever belong to club that would have you as member. Since your confidence is so low, you automatically assume something is wrong with someone who would want a relationship with you. You know, you're probably right! 1
venusishername Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 This is a classic case of intimacy issues. I think each person has had them at a certain point in life, and this seems to be yours. Lot's of people pine over the people that don't seem to reciprocate their feelings or feel like a challenge, but when the prospect of real relationship comes up, they go running for the hills. Face it, you wouldn't ever belong to club that would have you as member. Since your confidence is so low, you automatically assume something is wrong with someone who would want a relationship with you. Wow. I really needed to hear this myself. I've been struggling with this very question for the past couple years. I think it's not about how other people view you (in this example, as just for sex), but how YOU view yourself, as 'only good enough for sex'. I've run away from a handful of good men because of my intimacy issues and been drawn to the bad boys because I have a fear of being hurt and self esteem issues. The bad boys who seem to want only sex are 'safer' and 'easier' (not necessarily better looking either as mentioned above) than the good ones who want a real relationship, because the 'bad' choices confirm your fears and insecurities. The good ones challenge them, and that takes courage and maturity to face on your end. As HereNotThere said, you (or I) assume that something is wrong with someone who would want a relationship with us. That's the real issue to reflect on.
HereNorThere Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 @Enigma I have no idea why you keep talking about "leagues" and "levels" of women like some women are naturally better than others simply because YOU believe they are more appealing physically. Your way of thinking about beauty is seriously flawed. I am trying to tell you that the definition of beauty is SUBJECTIVE and not objective. Seems like to you, big girls are not beautiful but to MANY other men, they are. And just so you know, there's NO self-respect in watching porn all the time. It is actually very sad. And I honestly think you don't have as much self esteem as you think you do. You are kidding yourself if you don't think the concepts of leagues in dating isn't real. Although some of beauty is subjective, there are definite physical attributes or qualities that the majority of people find appealing. Not to mention, social classes and other forms classification. Don't you find it the least bit ironic that that your whole post based on you putting men into categories? 3
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