I broke up with a girl i loved...says she wants to get together...later...HELP!

[mvshaughn]

hey im mike and i need some help...i am a sophmore and i met thsi girl on a cruise...i never really talked to her on the ship but i got her email adress...the day after the cruise i talked to her and found out she lived in stoughton, the town next to mine...b/c of this we started to seriously start to talk and begin to like each other...then we fell in love and so on...this was awsome for me...we hung out every weekend, talked every day on the phone. this girl just made my life, she made me into a new person. well recently she said she wanted a "break" for now...she wants to be able to live her life up...i understand but im not taking this well...soon after we broke up she met another guy and is casually talking to him and she talks about hima llot. but in the midst of this she says she wants to get back together with me eventually, just not now...it has been abou 2 weeks since this break and every night i go to bed missing her more and more...i also talk to her everyday on the phone...but it seems like she is pushing me away and whenever she does that i seem to feel closer to her and need her more...idk what to do...im not sure wether to move on and get completly over her and just completly forget about her...but i need her in my life...i wanna grow up to marry this girl...im so confused about what to do...should i let her be (im just afraid wether or not she will come back) or should i keep her in my heart...and one thing CANT do is NOT LOVE HER...PLEASE HELP ME IM SO CONFUSED

[HokeyReligions]

There is a reason they call them crushes and first loves.

 

Move on. It was not meant to be right now. Believe me, you will find greater love later in life. If you two are meant to be together someday then you will. But live and experience life and enjoy your youth now---like she is doing. Adult relationship responsibilities will get here soon enough.

[mvshaughn]

ty...i kno thats what i should be doing but its like whenever i feel like i should be getting apart from her something brings me back...idk i just wanna stop talking to her, and all that but its just to hard to do...any ideas on how to get over her

[crazyyetsane]

Seriously, the thing to do is stop talking to her. At least until you feel you are over her romantically and want to pursue a friendship... and when I say "over her" I mean over her for real, not as in you're taking a different approach toward getting her back, or settling for a platonic relationship because she can't give you a romantic one. I know this is incredibly hard advice to take, and I had a hard time taking it myself because I couldn't stand to lose the guy I loved. However, I learned this lesson the hard way. The truth is: you can't have a friendship with someone you're still in love with. It hurts way too much. What you have to do is give each other time and space to let your emotions cool. It's so hard at first, it's like having an addiction- you go into withdrawal symptoms and it is the greatest pain you will ever experience in your life, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. However, time does heal all wounds: this is an overused phrase for a very good reason- it's true. Even if you have this mad, passionate, burning love for this girl, you will feel better one day. It won't come overnight but you'll start to feel much better the first time you notice yourslef improving. I'm not saying that she is not the one for you because she very well could be. And if she is, after all your emotions have settled and you are once again happy with your life, you'll look at this situation objectively and realize how much happier you'd be with her in it. The same goes for her. Long-lasting, loving relationships cannot be founded on pain- this is a fact. Therefore if you want a future with this girl, you're both going to have to let the pain and the bull**** settle before trying again.

[mvshaughn]

THANK YOU SOO MUCH...ive already been feeling better by looking at how much ive improved...i figure that if she wants to push me away then i will let her push me away...i think the best thing for me is to be free for now and she should be too...i just hope one day we can get back together