I'll never meet a woman here, thinking of moving to Italy

[NYC-BigKat]

This might sound rather drastic from the title.

 

I'm a 27 year old half Italian guy (I'm learning the language) living in a smallish town in Northern England, I hope in the following post not to cause any offence to female English users.

I'm painfully shy around women, having asked out only one girl in my entire life. When I saw her floating around my gym, she was so beautiful, natural and friendly looking that I just had to go over and speak to her, in spite of me being a complete nervous wreck - hands shaking, voice trembling.

We were together for three and a half years until she left me for another guy two years ago now.

 

That's the problem though - In my 15 years of being interested in women she is the only one I've ever come across in England who has made me bury my confidence issues and think to myself 'I just have to ask her out or I'll forever kick myself.'

Unfortunately I can't foresee being in that situation again.

There is a considerable brain drain from the area I live in, most educated young females leave for the South, leaving behind (no offence intended) a largely binge-drinking, overly-tattooed, promiscuous, poorly educated pool of women I wouldn't be attracted to.

However, checking up on the intelligent ladies who have vacated my home town for greener pastures down south.. well they all seem to have fairly glitzy lives with 1000+ facebook friends, and I think to myself what would they see in the likes of me, with my modest occupation and social inactivity?

There seems to be a shortage of available women in the middle of these two extremes here.

I'm not elitist or a snob, I would love to date a lovely but poor woman who worked in a cake shop, supermarket or a nursery for example, but here that sort of profession is the domain of the aforementioned ladettes I have described earlier.

 

I have only recently returned from a long holiday in Tuscany, and pretty much every female, regardless of their status, wealth or education, seems to take care of themselves, looking natural, feminine and dressing attractively without seemingly trying too hard. Here not trying means hair scraped back and wearing pyjamas. Trying at all means being caked in make up as well as plucking your eyebrows off and drawing them back on again. That I do not get.

 

Whilst I was in Tuscany I pretty much got neck ache admiring the ladies, drifting around with their long dark hair, looking effortlessly feminine and attractive. And I encountered two women whom I had that same feeling towards that I had before, seeing a woman who looked so beautiful to me, yet so accessible and friendly looking, repeatedly smiling at me. I prepared myself to approach them in passable Italian, s****ing my pants but ready to go through with it. Although the opportunities didn't present themselves to approach, I know that if I were back there for a prolonged period, the waters are so well stocked that it would happen, eventually.

 

I just feel I would fit in better there, Living with my parents here and saving up makes me a boring loser, there it's normal. Work there isn't plentiful so I don't think I would be as harshly judged for not having a glitzy career. A weekend night out there is spent having gelato in the piazza, sipping wine in an enoteca, or just strolling around hand in hand with your partner. Here it's about getting wasted. I seldom drink.

 

Thoughts anyone?

 

But why Italy? I think u have less confidence than me.

[quidproquo89]

If you genuinely want to move, do it for yourself, not to meet women. Its a big step and there are lots of things to consider, so to me something like that can't be decided on the basis of there being no decent girls where you are.

 

Oh and btw, us northern women aren't all the same! Good job I'm not easily offended

 

I spy a blind date on the cards

[Dusk1983]

Tuscan Italian is as far as I'm aware pretty much the standard, Queen's Italian, if you will. Whilst I was there I could understand a large proportion of what was said to me, and have pretty lengthy conversations, although making mistakes along the way. This winter my goal is to really hone it.

 

I do have some distant relatives there, but in Campania, which has it's beautiful parts, but isn't somewhere I would want to live.

 

 

Your Italian sounds about the same level as mine and you're spot on about Tuscan Italian. The fact you know that tells me you're clued up!

 

Calabria is quite barren, yes. In fact Florence would be my number one suggestion were you to consider moving there. Cosmopolitan but not too big, standardised language, decent work opportunities, free of some of the political minefields you find both further north and further south... Not to mention staggeringly beautiful.

[Ruby Slippers]

I think you have a romantic view of what life will be like in Italy, but that's understandable.

 

I lived in two different European countries for two different stints in my 20s. I also had romantic hopes - and in both cases, I had the time of my life!

 

I met so many interesting people and had a large circle of friends and acquaintances not just from the countries I was living in, but people from all over the world. It's likely you will be able not only to meet Italian women, but probably women from many other places, too.

 

I think living in another country can be a wonderful experience that busts your world open in many different ways.

 

Definitely dive into learning the language, as that makes the experience much richer and more fun.

 

Since you have good savings, I think you'll have a great time on this adventure and have nothing to lose. You can always try it for a year or two, then return to England (or elsewhere) later if you like.

[lyndaaxo]

I spy a blind date on the cards

 

Haha only just seen this, if I was open to dating at the moment I'd probably go for it