Darren2013 Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 It can be an embarrassing thing for some of us guys to misread a woman's signals of interest only to find out that she was just being friendly or that she is just flirty by personality type and is like that with all guys. Some say the signals are obvious. I beg to differ. It is all in the interpretation because everyone has different life experiences. If it was so easy to read people then this board would have no reason to exist and there would be no threads asking a bunch of faceless strangers for opinions about is she interested in me? The only thing that is obvious is that it is not so cut and dry because everyone gives their opinion based on their own subjective past experience in dating or on how they personally would behave and act if they are interested in someone. Then there are some who may be interested in someone but for reasons of their own are being very careful to hide their interest. I am one of those people. Perhaps that makes me a rare breed and an exception to the rules. And those who are followers of the book "He's just not that into you" would totally misread me and conclude that I am just not that into the woman when they do not take the time to understand why it appears that I'm not into her when I really am. That being said do you think it is better to take a chance at missing the genuine green lights of interest that a woman is giving me and do nothing or is it better to take the chance of misinterpreting what she is doing as a green light when there really was no green light? I think the latter is humiliating. I would personally rather do nothing and risk missing out on the green light signals of interest than embarrass myself. The only disadvantage to ignoring green lights that a woman may be giving is that there will come a time when she will stop giving out green lights and then I am left even more confused. But that's the price I have to pay I guess to go to great lengths to not risk humiliation.
LoneIsland Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 Some signals are intended to be ambiguous so as to round up sheep for the friend zone pen. Sheep can be highly beneficial to a female.
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 Once I thought a woman liked me enough to ask. It was one of them odd moments when you know they were being overly friendly (Treating me better than the regs, even though I was not much of a reg) but did not know why. I put her on the spot and asked her if she would like to go out some time, in front of her manager. They were both Korean, in a Korean part of town. She never gave me a direct answer if she would like to or not, just made it sound like the manager had something to say about it. Knowing she was not allowed to date customers, all I wanted was her answer. It did not bother me, and I knew she was not the right woman for a long term relationship, and was more curious than wanting to give in a try. Just felt I was not understanding well enough not to be confused and went elsewhere.
kjohn Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 If you don't ask, the answer will always be no. I say go for it! Much better to take the chance and ask so that you know for sure, rather than always wonder if it was an opportunity missed. When I met my BF, my mind was nowhere near thinking about dating. My divorce was too fresh. We met at the house of mutual friends and spent most of the day talking to each other. I thought he was a really nice guy and enjoyed talking to him. When he asked me for my number before he left you could have knocked me over with a feather. I was caught completely off-guard. Not only was I not expecting it, but I hadn't given out my phone number in 16 years so it was a little nerve-wracking. Whenever he tells the story about that day, he always says "I figured what the Hell, if you said no I'd never have to see you again anyway so I took a chance." Since I was completely clueless that he was interested in me, I wasn't trying to give any signals, but he asked anyway because he was interested. Now it's 4 years later and we are still together. If you don't ask, the answer will always be no.
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