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He backs out of plans but still talks to me


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Posted

Hello! I am wondering about this guy I like. I don't quite understand him. First, let me say that I have been friends with him for long time now...About a year now. My grandfather passed away a year ago and I remember him texting me and sending his condolences, then I was telling him how upset I was and how I couldn't believe about my grandfather's passing. This was all around midnight, and he said "Come chill with me then" I said "Ok, where are you at?" He didn't respond till 40 mins later and he said "I have to get up early for work :(" Umm...ok? I'm thinking "Then why did you ask in the first place?"

 

He kept doing this he would somewhat ask me out and then back out quickly with a dumb excuse. He would make these attempts, and I was fed up. My friend said to let it go because she thinks he backed out because I was in a vulnerable state when my grandfather died and he didn't want to take advantage of me, but I don't know if that's really it or not. He still talks to me, and he has asked me out a couple of more times, but I rejected him because I fear he's going to back out. I just wonder why he keeps backing out with me and not going along with plans, and he still talks to me. He clearly likes me because he told me himself and I hear it from people all the time how much he talks about me. So if that's the case, then why is it so hard to go on a date? Why does he back out of plans? Is my friend possibly right? Thank you in an advance!

Posted

This guy has some serious anxiety. He feels good when he asks you out but after knowing he is going on a date, he freaks out and can't go through with it. He keeps trying because he truly wants to. Why don't you ask him to hang out and see what happens. Or offer to hang out with a group of friends.

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Posted (edited)

I rejected him after the attempts! I agreed to go out with him before, but he would back out or blow me off, and it would sour my evening. It's almost like "the boy who cried wolf" He would ask me out, I would agree to go, then he back out or blow me off somehow. It was the same thing, so when he asked me again, that is when I started to say "no" because he's a flake. I just find it weird that he still talks to me. I don't know how you get that I keep him around for a "ego boost"? When it seems like HE'S the ONE that keeps me around for a ego boost. He's the one that backs out of things! I don't!

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Posted
This guy has some serious anxiety. He feels good when he asks you out but after knowing he is going on a date, he freaks out and can't go through with it. He keeps trying because he truly wants to. Why don't you ask him to hang out and see what happens. Or offer to hang out with a group of friends.

 

That's a good idea! But now I fear that if I do that he'll reject me. I like him, so I wouldn't take it well. But do you think it's anxiety? Interesting! Because my friends were saying the same thing, but I guess you could say I am very cynical. I think he doesn't have interest in me, but then I guess he wouldn't still talk to me if he didn't. It's a weird situation haha. Thanks!!

Posted

Why don't you ask him? Why sit at home wondering what's in his head, when the two of you could simply talk.

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