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Today was especially rough..


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Posted

Hey all,

 

So my relationship ended a few weeks ago for good. I'll try to summarize the best I can and keep it short -

 

- This girl and I were seeing each other for about 5 months. We fell madly in love with each other, and things started moving INCREDIBLY fast. I'm 27, and she's 28.

 

- Arguments happened often because of things moving so fast, I broke up with her

 

- A little over a week later we talked about reconciling and trying again. Attempted to make a romantic gesture to her one night to find another guy's truck at her house

 

- She said she was really confused and still had feelings for me but was scared of getting hurt again. After about a week she told me she didn't want to try again.

 

- A week later she called me crying saying she still loved me, misses me, and wanted to know if I still loved her. This happened for a couple of weeks (Her going hot and cold, texting me old inside jokes, stopping by my apartment a few times but I was out, and that she was confused with me and the new guy, the new guy was a safer bet, but she missed so many things about me).

 

- Monday of this week she called three times, texted, and then called again at 1am. I answered without thinking because it woke me up. Same talks, but I told her we should break contact so that I could get my head straight and she could have time to work out things with her guy and figure out what she wanted. She texted me something random the next day, but I ignored it.

 

Ever since then I was doing really well, and I was convincing myself that it was over. No Contact on my end isn't to win her back but to focus on myself and heal. But today, I'm missing her like crazy and it hurts like hell.

 

Any encouraging words for times like these?

Posted

You're on the right track.

 

You'll stop missing her eventually. That's how the mind works.

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Posted

It sounds like your being really strong in the way that your handling this and have really accepted that this relationship is over. Break-ups are a linear line forward, sometimes things will trigger some more difficult feelings, but just remind yourself that those feelings are transient. When you wake up the next day, chances are you'll be in a better place.

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Posted

Thanks, guys. So it is normal to have up and down days? Yesterday, I was great but today is a little more difficult... nothing major, though. :)

Posted

It's absolutely normal to have up and down days. If you fell as hard as you say, you're going to have them for a few months. I've still had them, over 4 months later.

 

Sometimes things trigger bad days, i.e., seeing an old picture, an inanimate object of hers, hangovers, disappointments, anything.

 

I have a few suggestions that may help reduce these triggers:

 

- Throw out anything that reminds you of her.

- Delete pics of her from everything, or better yet, save them somewhere where they're not immediately accessible. I have them on a usb drive stashed away.

- Workout as much as possible. Endorphins help counteract those bad chemicals in your brain.

- Keep a busy schedule, doing things that keep your mind preoccupied.

- As much as you can, sleep and eat well.

- Prevent any form of her social media coming across your eyes (block, delete, remove, etc.)

 

There are more, but these have helped me.

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