loveboid Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 I hear that most affairs get found out sooner or later. Sometimes the OW informs the wife, sometimes the MM gets careless or maybe unconsciously wants to be found out. Or something else happens. I am curious. How did yours get found out? I would appreciate your replies. Thank you.
couchcushion Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 (edited) BS was suspicious, grabbed WS's phone one morning and saw my last few texts to WS from the night before. The affair was obvious from the texts. That was D-day, just a few weeks ago. WS went back to BS and it's been No Contact ever since. The A was only a couple months long, and I think WS wanted to be found out (perhaps unconsciously), as she was extremely careless with her phone. I was careless too. Edited October 12, 2014 by couchcushion
goodyblue Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 Our secret cell phone was discovered. He confessed and left her. We have been together openly for some time now.
solostand Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 Not 100 per cent sure how we got found out. She was very suspicious, had been told about me, I visited MM in hospital while she was there, she was researching his phone minutes, we were incredibly careless in public, I was heard calling him Sweetie and it made it back to her, he would park right in front of my apartment building, and I sent her an anonymous text. But even before that she was talking as though she knew about me. She recently, like days ago, told MM she knows about me. She told him to leave if he was unhappy and he did. Yesterday I unlocked all of my pictures of MM on Facebook. If she creeps my FB page she'll see him there in all manner of activities with me.
Lovelysweet2 Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 Yesterday I unlocked all of my pictures of MM on Facebook. If she creeps my FB page she'll see him there in all manner of activities with me. Imo this is in poor and crude taste. Do you have a heart? All your talk of men, dates, MM, this is not going to make you happy when your only compassion is yourself, and not others. 7
Redheaded Mistress Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 He fell asleep on the couch and left a browser open that had a message from me which gave it away. 1
solostand Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 Imo this is in poor and crude taste. Do you have a heart? All your talk of men, dates, MM, this is not going to make you happy when your only compassion is yourself, and not others. She needs to know how serious it is. Not just a fling.
goodyblue Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 She needs to know how serious it is. Not just a fling. Hey. Of all people, I get this feeling. For MONTHS, even after divorce had been filed and he had flown across the country, packed up my kids and me and moved us across the country, his ex still told him to get his a$$ home. She had no inkling of how serious we were. And I wanted her to! But in the end the only thing that will show that is if you two stay together long term. Please don't give her ammo to hurt him, call out the affair in public etc.
solostand Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 Very good point and one I didn't think of. Thank you. Lockdown back on.
Donesharing Posted October 12, 2014 Posted October 12, 2014 He had a trip planned to see me in two weeks. I needed to end this or find out if he was lying to me about his "situation." (living with her until the kids went to college.) Last kid went to college. He wasn't making plans to leave. I sent her a message on FB and told her. Today is no contact day number 19. I have no idea what is going on in their world. I do know that he didn't choose me. At this point if they divorce I won't go back. I cannot be his second choice. If he loved me as much as he said he did, he would have left her right away.
Got it Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 Actually have no idea. Nor does he (asked him). No idea what the tipping point was.
CanI Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 He had a trip planned to see me in two weeks. I needed to end this or find out if he was lying to me about his "situation." (living with her until the kids went to college.) Last kid went to college. He wasn't making plans to leave. I sent her a message on FB and told her. Today is no contact day number 19. I have no idea what is going on in their world. I do know that he didn't choose me. At this point if they divorce I won't go back. I cannot be his second choice. If he loved me as much as he said he did, he would have left her right away. That may not necessarily be true. I love the person I had a 12 year affair with passionately but could not bring myself to leave because it would hurt so many people in my family, especially my kids and my grandchildren.
whichwayisup Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 Yesterday I unlocked all of my pictures of MM on Facebook. If she creeps my FB page she'll see him there in all manner of activities with me. More proof of the affair and she will take him for everything. Show her some empathy Solo. Don't advertise your personal life like this on facebook. They have a daughter and a new grandchild. Don't hate on his wife, have some respect. 5
goodyblue Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 That may not necessarily be true. I love the person I had a 12 year affair with passionately but could not bring myself to leave because it would hurt so many people in my family, especially my kids and my grandchildren. Yes, because hurting the person you love was easier to hurt than others in your life. I sincerely hope your AP was married too and did not waste their entire adult life waiting for u to make a move.
Sassy Girl Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 Yes, because hurting the person you love was easier to hurt than others in your life. I sincerely hope your AP was married too and did not waste their entire adult life waiting for u to make a move. You may not like it but it's true. The affair partner chose to get into a situation with a married person. They know the risks. Have you ever had to choose between your affair partners pain and your children's?
waterwoman Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 Yes, because hurting the person you love was easier to hurt than others in your life. I sincerely hope your AP was married too and did not waste their entire adult life waiting for u to make a move. His wife has also wasted a big chunk of her life too. Just really sad. 1
purplesorrow Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 Yes, because hurting the person you love was easier to hurt than others in your life. I sincerely hope your AP was married too and did not waste their entire adult life waiting for u to make a move. I'm sure the 'others' in their life are also loved. Should all of them have been hurt instead?
goodyblue Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 I agree. I am just pointing out that someone is going to be hurt. Sadly it is usually OW. And 12 years was a long time to waste someone's life, etc. That includes his wife as well. 12 years. Pathetic. 1
Goodbye Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 He got "found out" when I sent a letter to his wife. He claimed she knew. She knew NOTHING. 1
brightonrock Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 My secret phone has been found, I've sent his girlfriend anonymous texts confirming his whereabouts when she had suspicions. I've also sent anonymous texts to people that she knows, its caused no end of trouble. I also sent a text to his girlfriend confirming that he had had my initial tattooed on the inside of his finger. This all happened about two years into the affair which has been going on for nearly nine years now....
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