strong-hearted Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 so as some of you may know, my ex broke up with me about two months ago, he then jumped into a new relationship two weeks after the break up. everything has me so confused because he did the followong: when he finally told me he was feeling "lost" he had holes in his heart and that he needed to get over some bad feelings and he didn't know what he wanted and that we should take a break he said "two weeks ago i woulda jumped in front of a bullet for you" he really hurt me so i said ok he wants a break so maybe if we take a break things will go back to normal then when i agreed to take a break he said he still had love for me and that he has never loved any one the way he loves me, then we went on to say "even if we take a break for a little bit of time, i know deep dpwn inside we still have that love that can bring us back together",but he also said "again i am NOT breaking up with you" then he said he was going to stay at his mom's house for a while but she lives like 45 minutes away so i also agreed with it two weeks later, i get this text from his friend's girl "hey i know we're not that close but what's going on with you guys?" so i told her everything, she then tells me that he posted a picture of him and a girl and his friends were all saying that chick was his new girl, i was so upset so i texted him right away "hey so i just recieved a text so i guess you moved on, i thought i wanted to be with you but at this point i don't want you back so please don't ever contact me again, good luck with everything", he didn't respond till the next day when i texted him again and he confirmed it and he said "i'm sorry but the fights killed it for me" and "i wasn't happy with you any more" so i said i wish you the best for both of you so thank you for making me happy for two years. an hour later i text him to ask him to bring all my stuff back so he brought all of my belongings the next day, but he was acting cold towards me like if he was mad at me or something. i noticed that he brought me everything exept for my two cameras, i have not had any contact with him in two months but i am really confused on how things happened like this after being together for two years and had a wonderful relationship can anyone relate to this? i am really lost and it has been really hard for me to move on, i don't know if two months is still too soon to heal. -thank you
Haydn Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 NC. Cut him out. Block from everything. Mutual friends etc. He has moved on do not be a 2nd option for him anymore. Sounds so harsh? But trust me, you will go through all the same **** many of us here did and at each step you will give `them` the benefit. Good luck. You know what to do. so as some of you may know, my ex broke up with me about two months ago, he then jumped into a new relationship two weeks after the break up. everything has me so confused because he did the followong: when he finally told me he was feeling "lost" he had holes in his heart and that he needed to get over some bad feelings and he didn't know what he wanted and that we should take a break he said "two weeks ago i woulda jumped in front of a bullet for you" he really hurt me so i said ok he wants a break so maybe if we take a break things will go back to normal then when i agreed to take a break he said he still had love for me and that he has never loved any one the way he loves me, then we went on to say "even if we take a break for a little bit of time, i know deep dpwn inside we still have that love that can bring us back together",but he also said "again i am NOT breaking up with you" then he said he was going to stay at his mom's house for a while but she lives like 45 minutes away so i also agreed with it two weeks later, i get this text from his friend's girl "hey i know we're not that close but what's going on with you guys?" so i told her everything, she then tells me that he posted a picture of him and a girl and his friends were all saying that chick was his new girl, i was so upset so i texted him right away "hey so i just recieved a text so i guess you moved on, i thought i wanted to be with you but at this point i don't want you back so please don't ever contact me again, good luck with everything", he didn't respond till the next day when i texted him again and he confirmed it and he said "i'm sorry but the fights killed it for me" and "i wasn't happy with you any more" so i said i wish you the best for both of you so thank you for making me happy for two years. an hour later i text him to ask him to bring all my stuff back so he brought all of my belongings the next day, but he was acting cold towards me like if he was mad at me or something. i noticed that he brought me everything exept for my two cameras, i have not had any contact with him in two months but i am really confused on how things happened like this after being together for two years and had a wonderful relationship can anyone relate to this? i am really lost and it has been really hard for me to move on, i don't know if two months is still too soon to heal. -thank you 1
Author strong-hearted Posted October 11, 2014 Author Posted October 11, 2014 thank you for your advice, trust me i do miss him like crazy but yeah it is best just to move on, it has helped me that i have not had any contact with him at all.
littleblacksubmarine Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 The title of your thread highlights your underlying problem. You want to know what your ex is thinking. This is 'mind reading' and will only cause you pain. People can come up with all kinds of reasons for his behaviour but it will never give you a definitve answer. Pointless to think about it as you don't have any control over his actions. I suggest you try to move on, follow NC, including asking mutual friends not to talk about him with you. Two months is definitely too soon to move on properly, so don't worry about it too much, this recent interaction will set you back almost to the start again. No problem, just start again and things will get better 2
Author strong-hearted Posted October 11, 2014 Author Posted October 11, 2014 yeah that is why it's just a little harder for me to move on, he said one thing and then he did another. i will never understand why, all i can do is just move on and try to get on with my life
littleblacksubmarine Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 Yep, always harder when their reasons are confusing. As painful as it might be that he's with someone else, this will actually help with moving on. The next couple of weeks will be tough but it'll get easier. Just follow the steps, they work 2
Author strong-hearted Posted October 11, 2014 Author Posted October 11, 2014 yeah it has been hard, hopefuly with time the pain goes away cuz sometimes it does feel like it just happened yesterday idk if that's normal
littleblacksubmarine Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 Yep also normal. Just find ways of not thinking about it so much, CBT and mindfulness etc. might help. Don't worry if it feels like you're taking longer than others, it's probably not the case, and it doesn't matter anyway, there's no set time for recovery.
Author strong-hearted Posted October 12, 2014 Author Posted October 12, 2014 thank you so much for your advice, one thing I'm doing is every week I have counseling sessions so that's really helping me a lot cuz after the breakup I was in this crazy denial for two weeks, now I have eccepted that he's gona and he has moved on and I should do the same
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