Lauren0990 Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 I am new to this site but need some help I had been with my boyfriend for about 1.5 years. At first everything was going great, but somewhere along the lines things became rocky and we began to have more and more fights. Last weekend we had a horrible fight which resulted in him becoming very angry and screaming relentlessly. I, being very drunk, hit him in the arm out of frustration (which I regret immensely and am extremely embarrassed by). He yelled at me to go home, but being to drunk to drive, I went to sleep. The next morning, he wouldn't talk to me saying that he was still too mad. He said he needed a break. We didn't talk for two days until he texted me that he doesn't think it would be best for us to be together. He says he knows he was being mean and I was drunk, but he couldn't get passed me hitting him. I talked to him on the phone and asked if we could try to work through it and he said no he can't. He said he's just too tired. He doesn't want to be friends either because he says that never works. It has been 6 days since then and we haven't spoken. I am completely heartbroken, I just want to try to work it out. I'm not sure if NC would work in my situation? Is there anything I can do to attempt to resolve things? I really just want to try to talk to him again. Is it hopeless?
Simon Phoenix Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 It's hopeless if you keep pushing him. You've apologized, now let him breathe. If he decides after a while that he wants to be in contact with you, he will be. But if you pressure him, it will be disastrous. Honestly, I hope you learn to not hit people. This might be something that he won't put up with, and for good reason, he shouldn't have to. But since you've already apologized, you need to continue to give him space and accept what he wants. You might want to "work it out", but if he doesn't, there's nothing you can do about it. And if you pressure him, you are just going to drive him away further. So you need to continue to stay away. If he does contact you, then come on here and ask for advice and go from there.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 I am new to this site but need some help I had been with my boyfriend for about 1.5 years. At first everything was going great, but somewhere along the lines things became rocky and we began to have more and more fights. Last weekend we had a horrible fight which resulted in him becoming very angry and screaming relentlessly. I, being very drunk, hit him in the arm out of frustration (which I regret immensely and am extremely embarrassed by). He yelled at me to go home, but being to drunk to drive, I went to sleep. The next morning, he wouldn't talk to me saying that he was still too mad. He said he needed a break. We didn't talk for two days until he texted me that he doesn't think it would be best for us to be together. He says he knows he was being mean and I was drunk, but he couldn't get passed me hitting him. I talked to him on the phone and asked if we could try to work through it and he said no he can't. He said he's just too tired. He doesn't want to be friends either because he says that never works. It has been 6 days since then and we haven't spoken. I am completely heartbroken, I just want to try to work it out. I'm not sure if NC would work in my situation? Is there anything I can do to attempt to resolve things? I really just want to try to talk to him again. Is it hopeless? No Contact is not a device to get someone back. It is meant to help you move on after a break-up. So, in this sense, it isn't going to work as a reconciliation tool. Follow the other poster's advice. You need to give him space. It sounds like the relationship wasn't in a good place anymore anyway. I think you being physically violent was the straw that broke the camel's back. His dealbreaker. Leave him be for a little while or he will only become more annoyed and resentful. In the meantime, you need to take a hard look at yourself and ask yourself why you became so aggressive. What went through your mind that made it acceptable to hit him? Is this the first time it's happened? Also, try to look at the relationship from a different perspective. You said it'd been rocky - why? What problems were you having? It may be better in the long run that it came to an end.
littleblacksubmarine Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 No Contact is not a device to get someone back. It is meant to help you move on after a break-up. So, in this sense, it isn't going to work as a reconciliation tool. While this is true, NC is still part of the reconciliation process. You should maintain it for a few weeks at least to give each some breathing space and allow emotions to settle a bit. If he reaches out to you within this period, just explain that you need some space. NC can be scary, but if you start to panic just remember that they aren't going to forget about you within a few weeks. If you don't hear from him after a month of NC it may be possible to try low contact to try and patch things up, but this will really depend on circumstances.
Seeker12 Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 Just to say, NC is sure damn hard, im going through it, you need to stick to it like shizzle on a stick, its so easy to break. But then start again you must, try not to push your ex or sound needy, iv just gone through that too, best option, both of you step back and breathe, its so damn hard i understand.
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