ktragers Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 A guy friend and I have very similar world views and communication styles, and we have a lot of common interests too. He's overall a sensitive and emotional person and I'd say pretty sincere and genuine too. A few weeks ago when we hung out I innocently suggested that since it was late he should just stay at my place that evening and leave the next morning, and that got him thinking about the prospect of us having sex. Since then our relationship took a turn and we began talking a lot more (long hours, multiple times every day) and our conversations got more flirtatious too. Sometimes we do talk like a couple actually dating or something, and we would also send each other photos of us that day to "torture" each other, etc. We also had a conversation about what we're doing, and we are both a bit confused as to where this is going, and also worried it might be too soon (since he's just out of a relationship not long ago), and that prospect of sex kind of clouded his judgment a little bit. But he did say that he's very attracted to our similar world view and common interests, and believes that we're more than friends already. I admit I do like him but I really am not sure if he's emotionally available yet in that sense. However, when we talk every day, he's always in great spirit and we connect so well. Even when he's busy or out of town for a while, he'd get in touch too. He just had an incredibly busy and stressful week but a couple of times he still suggested that if he's free this weekend we should get together and such. He'd also remember to send me a photo of him too. I've been in relationships before and I know one mistake women tend to make is that they tend to push guys for answers, eager to "figure out" the situation while guys need time to go at their own pace to develop those feelings. I understand that and never really pushed anything here with him because I know it's all too fast and too soon. But the female brain of mine also makes me insecure about this all and wonder what if it doesn't work out the way I want. I know he has a busy weekend ahead with school work, and on top of it he's recovering from a full week from his job, but we haven't firmed up any plan to get together and do something yet, which makes me feel like maybe he's just not that into me and was caught up by the thought of sex for a moment there. I guess I'm worried that he's just noticing an opportunity to fill that "void" of not having a girlfriend anymore but not really emotionally invested. Blah, relationships... so tricky.
preraph Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 Look, not everyone can keep all the balls in the air at the same time or even want to. More compartmentalized people may need to concentrate fully on one thing at a time, such as studying. He warned you he was about to be busy. You should totally leave him alone during this time until you hear from him and then you should keep it short and not demand back-and-forth communication. Once he is back in dating mode, I'm sure you'll be the first call he'll make. Plus, like you said, if he's got a full plate already with maybe a recent breakup, putting pressure on is a sure way to run him off. It takes a lot out of you, a breakup. You have things to think through and you have to monitor yourself. Chill out. Stop wanting to force things. It's way too early. Let him pursue you if he's interested. He knows you like him, so sit back and let him come to you when he's ready.
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