dstained Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 2nd relationship that I basically ended over the same thing. I broke it off recently with my girlfriend because she was possessive to the extreme. I just couldn't handle it. I was not allowed to talk about my family and was not allowed to not see her on some week nights... I would get major crap from her when I talk about my family and if I didn't go to her place some week nights to do my own thing like play PC games, etc... - she could not handle my place because my sister lived next door and would give me crap about it. (She never met her by the way) ... my sister would never come un-invited to my house and have never been a nuisance for example - I don't understand why the ex was jealous of my sister.. makes no sense ???? This got me thinking and the relationship before this one I also got out because I felt smothered and unhappy about more or less the same things. Both ex girlfriends could not handle the fact that I have family. I was not allowed to talk about them, see them, etc... really possessive. Could it be something I'm doing? With both ex girlfriends we never visited with my family and I basically avoided doing something with them in fear of getting crap about it... and I usually would get trouble if I did something with my family or friends without her/them... I'm totally the opposite of possessive and normally don't have a jealous bone in my body... maybe this creates problems? Maybe I did things that left them unsure about the relationship? Maybe I'm a nice guy which creates these kinds of problems?
Bella2 Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 I don't really get it. Why would a girlfriend be jealous of family (if that's the reason..)? Did she tell you why your family bothered her?? Or do you talk about your family allll the time? I guess not, so, no sorry, I really have no clue...
stillafool Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 Some people are crazy. The next time look for a girl who is more independent and has her own life. Nothing is worse than someone who holds on too tight. It drives me crazy also. If a girl is jealous of your family you can forget about having friends. A possessive person can make your life miserable and you were right to break it off with her.
WomenWubber Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 Something in you must be attracting them or maybe awakening that jealous side.
Ronni_W Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 I was not allowed to talk about my family and was not allowed to not see her on some week nights... I would get major crap from her when I talk about my family and if I didn't go to her place some week nights to do my own thing That's not "possessive" it is CONTROLLING TO THE MAX. (Well...okay, it IS "possessive" in that you were being treated LIKE a possession or an object...there to submit to and please her every whim, wish, desire, demand, command.) Now, what is up in your own psyche, that you keep getting suckered into relationships with people like this??? For you, the query ought not be so much "why are there so many" people like this, but why do YOU keep being attracted by them and drawn to them. What was your initial attraction? If you can properly figure that out, then you can defend yourself against it, in the future.
No Limit Posted October 10, 2014 Posted October 10, 2014 You're attracting the wrong kind of people dude. Don't let them control you from the very beginning, that'll turn those people off pretty quick.
Itspointless Posted October 11, 2014 Posted October 11, 2014 she could not handle my place because my sister lived next door and would give me crap about it. (She never met her by the way) ... my sister would never come un-invited to my house and have never been a nuisance for example - I don't understand why the ex was jealous of my sister.. makes no sense ????Your sister lives next door to you but has never met your ex(es)? How is that possible? Did your ex never come to your place?
Justaguy30 Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 I think I came somewhat possessive in my last relationship. It wasn't intentional and I didn't mean to do it in a hurtful manner. I just wanted a real relationship with communication and she was lying to me a lot and nothing made sense so I did the only thing I knew how to do which was try to get her to stop which came out in sort of a possessive manner. What I learned is that you can't make someone do anything they don't want to do but all she had to do is tell me the truth.
Author dstained Posted October 15, 2014 Author Posted October 15, 2014 Your sister lives next door to you but has never met your ex(es)? How is that possible? Did your ex never come to your place? She would get upset when I talked about my sister. At first I could not understand it. I would ask her what is wrong and she would say nothing was wrong but I could notice that she didn't like it at all and she would give me the silent treatment. Later she would lash out at me that I would talk obsessively about my sister and family which was definitely not the case. So I completely stopped talking about her and the rest of my family and figured it would probably be better to wait before I introduce her to my sister. If we constantly visited my sister or my sister was a nuisance and effected our relationship then this would be justifiable but I almost never saw my sister. Maybe once in 2 weeks and it was not for a casual visit but usually she needed to borrow something or I needed to borrow something from her. I basically shut down my friend network for her because it went more or less the same way with my friends... I started walking on egg shells when it came to friends and family which is not right. More or less the same thing with the previous ex. The previous ex would constantly complain that she could not handle her ex husband's family and that they made her life hell... which probably explained her stance on my family.
Recommended Posts