TigerLilly78 Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 Most men would not do relationships with women who show no concern for them. It's not really a question of compatibility, just common sense. I said I do not do casule sex how on earth dose that translate into I show no concern for my partner? I think your making a alot of assumptions here. im saying I will not sleep with a man until a stable relashionship is formed and some how im the bad guy? please...
TigerLilly78 Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 I don't look to establish connection without sex. It's not a male thing. I think its more a sign of the times today we have become so desensitized to sex it means very little other then for the physical pleasure. Back in our parents day they took time to actually get to know some one "court" before they slept with them well most of the time but times change and so do values I guess..
Emilia Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 I think its more a sign of the times today we have become so desensitized to sex it means very little other then for the physical pleasure. Back in our parents day they took time to actually get to know some one "court" before they slept with them well most of the time but times change and so do values I guess.. Back in our parents day women didn't know what good sex was. They stayed at home, spending their times gossiping with their girlfriends and had shlt sex with their husbands. They weren't expected to orgasm, there was no oral sex (or very little) and sex was a duty. Not for me, thanks. Women are liberated today and can go after what they want. I don't commit to a man until I know we are sexually compatible. It is not a given. It's true that a lot of things can be ironed out between two people but a lot of things can't be. It's hard for women to get consistently good sex and sure as hell I'm not settling for someone who has weird hungups or is selfish, doesn't do oral, etc.
LoneIsland Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 I said I do not do casule sex how on earth dose that translate into I show no concern for my partner? I think your making a alot of assumptions here. im saying I will not sleep with a man until a stable relashionship is formed and some how im the bad guy? please... Imagine you have a bad cold and laying in bed. You are about to sneeze and to make quite a disgusting mess. So you look to your partner to get you the tissues quick. You can't control it, you just need to do it, like now. Instead, your partner folds his arms and says: "yeah, I am a person of integrity, and I can't pass you the tissues because well I just don't do casual tissue passing. Had you given me a kiss 5 minutes ago to re-enforce our bonding, I might have considered helping." Would you want a relationship with a person like that ? Clearly not. Same with men, they'd never want a relationship with a women who is so lacking in consideration.
LoneIsland Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 It's hard for women to get consistently good sex and sure as hell I'm not settling for someone who has weird hungups or is selfish, doesn't do oral, etc. Yes, good and valid points. This is also one of the main reasons men need to have sex with the person they are interested in and have feelings for. They simply don't want any hang ups or any weird stuff popping up months down the line when the emotions have gone too deep. I personally have no trouble with oral. But I would insist on it being deep down cleaned. I'd get involved with the cleaning myself to ensure the job is done right.
Tayken Posted October 13, 2014 Posted October 13, 2014 They stayed at home, spending their times gossiping with their girlfriends and had shlt sex with their husbands. They weren't expected to orgasm, there was no oral sex (or very little) and sex was a duty. Wow...what a generalization. So you speak for all our parents the world over then? My mum raised 5 kids whilst going to evening classes when dad got back from work, and that is how she got her Nursing degree (RN by the way), and made it all the way to the top on the pay scale before retiring. She is in her late 70s now
Author rawrrxlaurr Posted October 13, 2014 Author Posted October 13, 2014 I haven't quite read through ALL of the comments on this topic, but let me just say this... As far as I've been concerned when it comes to dating someone and forming relationships, sexual attraction and desire on both parts is pretty important.... Who wants to explore a relationship with someone that doesn't seem sexually interested??
Author rawrrxlaurr Posted October 13, 2014 Author Posted October 13, 2014 Honestly, most of the fat girls I know are b*tches. lol.
Mister Zen Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I think its more a sign of the times today we have become so desensitized to sex it means very little other then for the physical pleasure. Back in our parents day they took time to actually get to know some one "court" before they slept with them well most of the time but times change and so do values I guess.. Maybe because over time people learned that sex really isn't a big deal. What makes it a "big deal" exactly?
Author rawrrxlaurr Posted October 14, 2014 Author Posted October 14, 2014 Hm, well also most of the big girls I know are in relationships and usually always have boyfriends.
Tayken Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Hm, well also most of the big girls I know are in relationships and usually always have boyfriends. SO what does that tell you then...that they are doing something right, and men dig em?
Priv Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 It's hard for women to get consistently good sex and sure as hell I'm not settling for someone who has weird hungups or is selfish, doesn't do oral, etc. Fair enough. Weird question, but elaborate on the etc. (2.40AM here and should be long asleep if you are questioning my motivation ). Besides the reciprocal thing, what's next?
preraph Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 My quote you quoted: And yet, so many men would happily bone a variety of women they cared absolutely nothing about, Wrong, unless you claim to know me personally? This is the problem with some women out there, they walk around thinking every man out there will shag them if they offered it...WRONG. Which if you'll read the very quote you quoted from me, it says "so many men," "not all men and especially Tayken."
Emilia Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Fair enough. Weird question, but elaborate on the etc. (2.40AM here and should be long asleep if you are questioning my motivation ). Besides the reciprocal thing, what's next? How do you mean? In general? My point is that I - and that may not apply to everyone but I'm saying it's not only men that do this - need to know whether I'm compatible with the guy in all major aspects. Personality, values, how we view physical intimacy. It's not a given that just because men run around horny they will be on the same page as a particular woman with libido, intimacy and the likes. It certainly isn't a given that it can be 'fixed' either and that we will mesh just because we like each other. I think when you get older, you realise that you need to investigate these things for yourself and make a decision based on that. Rather than worry about being some guy's sex toy and - oh my god - his only wanting casual sex. He either likes you or he doesn't and he is either capable of having an LTR or he isn't. There is no great mystery. Better to find out sooner than investing months of emotions. The end.
LoneIsland Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 (edited) I think when you get older, you realise that you need to investigate these things for yourself and make a decision based on that. Rather than worry about being some guy's sex toy and - oh my god - his only wanting casual sex. He either likes you or he doesn't and he is either capable of having an LTR or he isn't. There is no great mystery. Better to find out sooner than investing months of emotions. The end. At what age did you reach this wisdom ? From what I can gather, women generally reaches that stage of enlightenment after 45, which I consider to be too late. What most younger women are blind to is that sex is not only about sex. Sex brings with it some else, something wonderful. Edited October 14, 2014 by LoneIsland
Emilia Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 At what age did you reach this wisdom ? From what I can gather, women generally reaches that stage of enlightenment after 45, which I consider to be too late. Too late? Who you are you to judge? And more importantly, who cares?
LoneIsland Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Too late? Who you are you to judge? And more importantly, who cares? I only judge the statistical significance. Keep your hair on, lol. I consider the optimum enlightenment attainment age to be 35.
tatersalad Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I married a good girl. There are guys out there who prefer the good girl types...
TigerLilly78 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Imagine you have a bad cold and laying in bed. You are about to sneeze and to make quite a disgusting mess. So you look to your partner to get you the tissues quick. You can't control it, you just need to do it, like now. Instead, your partner folds his arms and says: "yeah, I am a person of integrity, and I can't pass you the tissues because well I just don't do casual tissue passing. Had you given me a kiss 5 minutes ago to re-enforce our bonding, I might have considered helping." Would you want a relationship with a person like that ? Clearly not. Same with men, they'd never want a relationship with a women who is so lacking in consideration. Wait did you seriously just compare sex the most intimate thing two people can share to sneezing? wait nooo for real? well at least you proved my point that sex has become so mundane and casual to the point of being considered just another daily bodily function. Im sorry to me it means more and should happen between two people who love and care for each other. And for a relashionship like that to develop takes time its a different view point to yours thats all. Granted kind of not the norm in today's sociaity also it keeps the risks of spreading unwanted stds and pregnancy down cause I don't know about you but I think carelessly sleeping around a lot and spreading something unpleasant is rather inconsiderate as well..just saying Me and my current partner have known each other for a year via internet and lived together for the last 3 month's with no sex that doesn't mean were not close in other ways and hes still here and happy we just moved in together as a matter of fact. So I must be doing something right go figure...far as wanting to know about a persons quirks sexually or any other way before getting involved its called open communication and working at a relashionship but that takes time and effort..
Targetlock Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 i want and prefer good girls but i can understand the appeal of a bad girl, maybe you haven't found the right man who deserves your attention
TigerLilly78 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Back in our parents day women didn't know what good sex was. They stayed at home, spending their times gossiping with their girlfriends and had shlt sex with their husbands. They weren't expected to orgasm, there was no oral sex (or very little) and sex was a duty. Not for me, thanks. Women are liberated today and can go after what they want. I don't commit to a man until I know we are sexually compatible. It is not a given. It's true that a lot of things can be ironed out between two people but a lot of things can't be. It's hard for women to get consistently good sex and sure as hell I'm not settling for someone who has weird hungups or is selfish, doesn't do oral, etc. Again its about laying down a solid foundation to build a long term relashionship on hence the open and honest communication. I know his quirks and I know what he likes and doesn't like there is nothing that ether of us has held back going into this. And I did all of this with out bedding him early on far as being liberated I see your point. But I can honestly say this approach has made me feel more liberated and happy then I ever was back when sex always came first. Also im not to sure they didn't know what good sex was back then it just wasn't as openly spoken about but it still existed im sure..
TigerLilly78 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 I have done some painting before, and oddly enough, even though it's a relatively sedentary job, I don't recall many overweight people doing it. So no, I probably wouldn't mention overweight people when talking about paint drying. I have also found this to be true. It's why so many guys hit on overweight girls when we want to get laid, and why so many overweight girls tend to stay single. The reason I brought up overweight women in this discussion is because of my life experience. I have met a ton of really great women that were just too overweight for me to date. Nice girls, fun to be around, smart, loyal, ect. Just way too big. Thats funny ive seen lots of overweight professional carpenters/painters go figure..LOL far as overweight women staying single errrr ive only been single in my life by choice..
TigerLilly78 Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 Maybe because over time people learned that sex really isn't a big deal. What makes it a "big deal" exactly? Because its the most intimate thing two people can share with each other? its also intended to procreate to create life between you and your partner how is that not a big deal? everyone goes on about how your first time should be special yada yada to me every time should be special and mean something on some level and if you look at it maybe its not such a bad idea have you ever looked at the threads on here were constant casual sex has caused nothing but needless drama/stress/sickness/unwanted pregnancy? to me it just makes sense thats just me tho..
Priv Posted October 14, 2014 Posted October 14, 2014 How do you mean? In general? My point is that I - and that may not apply to everyone but I'm saying it's not only men that do this - need to know whether I'm compatible with the guy in all major aspects. Personality, values, how we view physical intimacy. It's not a given that just because men run around horny they will be on the same page as a particular woman with libido, intimacy and the likes. It certainly isn't a given that it can be 'fixed' either and that we will mesh just because we like each other. I think when you get older, you realise that you need to investigate these things for yourself and make a decision based on that. Rather than worry about being some guy's sex toy and - oh my god - his only wanting casual sex. He either likes you or he doesn't and he is either capable of having an LTR or he isn't. There is no great mystery. Better to find out sooner than investing months of emotions. The end. Yea, that is what I meant. I read it a bit like 'if he does or does not do oral', which is pretty much a given. So that's why I asked.
leoc1973 Posted October 15, 2014 Posted October 15, 2014 Guys want a few things. Yes a good girl. He will have little respect for a bad girl. Another thing I read and I didn't even realize it was something I wanted till I read it and realized but men want to be adored by their woman. That whole opening a jar thing and the girl says wow you are so strong(obviously a stupid corny example but you know what I mean) When he hears she was bragging to her friends or family about him. A man wants to know you will be there for him no matter what. I don't mean what one of the previous posters said about a doormat I mean like if a guy lost his job, his car broke down, he broke a leg, family died, dog ran away... at the end of the day the woman is the rock of the relationship and he wants to know she is there for him. Most importantly and not to sound like a jerk but men don't really find women interesting or fun. That's why he would rather hang out with the guys. Why do you think guys find it so awesome when a girl watches sports or plays video games? Put on a football jersey chug a beer and ask him why he is nursing his beer. Call him the "P" word and break his balls and he will think you were sent by god for him. Oh and obviously men are shallow and visual creatures so being good looking does help
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